Ghost of You
by LeVampireCat
Summary: A Zeki fanfic, set during volume 11 and onward, Yuki struggles to cope without Zero, and coming to terms with her feelings for him, she is plagued by nightmares. As well as this, she still has her feelings for Kaname and her new status as a pureblood too
1. 1 The Kiss

Ghost of You

Yuki Kuran POV

SPOILERS FOR THE VAMPIRE KNIGHT 8 ONWARDS SO DON'T READ IT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW =).

AN- I couldn't resists doing a Zero and Yuki fanfic... This is a few months after the stuff in the 10th manga took place, probably before the 11th or something. I'm not really keeping to one fixed time period, I write better when I'm able to write more freely, so I apologise if there are inaccuracies. 

Anyway, it's basically about Yuki having trouble letting go of Zero despite the fact they can never be together, and because she loves Kaname as well. I wanted to keep it somewhat accurate because I didn't want it to become one of those fanfics where the characters act in a way you know they wouldn't... It was inspired by Selena Gomez's AMAZING song, _Ghost of you_ I think it suits Yuki and Zero so well; I just had to use the lyrics (which have been put in italics for convenience!) Please check it out, this song is beautiful. Enjoy I'll update as soon as I can.

A small sound escapes from my lips, a sound so small that it doesn't even make a sound really, and the only reason I noticed it at all was because I felt my mouth open in slight surprise. Regardless, my body tenses a little feeling the blood being drawn from my neck, despite the fact he's taken it so many times before. Some how I know as well as he that…this time is different, it's the last time. He's so gentle it's cruel considering all the pain I've caused him, still he embraces me tenderly as a lover might…it's the way vampires are.

I feel his warmth leaving my neck as he slowly pulls away, being careful not to let his fangs graze me any further. He looks down at me as he always does, glaring at me as if I don't understand his pain. I stare into his eyes my expression neutral, because I know if I were to say or do anything reflecting my true emotions I'd fall to bits before him.

I suddenly feel his arms holding me tightly, and his face closes in on mine. I already know what's coming yet I still can't stop my heart from pounding madly in my chest. And now he's kissing me tenderly, letting his feelings be known in this way, because…. A thousand words could not express to me how much he cares as much as this one amazing kiss. And I kiss him back, I love him too! Every inch of my body loves him! It's like I'm screaming it! It's like I'm begging him to never stop! And now as my brief moment of bliss comes to an end, and his soft lips cease, slowly pulling back, I feel myself leaning forward as if to say, 'No don't leave me.'

I'd been floating and as he pulls my body against his and holds me in his arms I feel myself falling back down, reawakening to the grim realisation that we are now enemies…and we are not see one another again. If we meet again….one of us will die. I vow to run, and to never allow him to catch up, if it gives him a reason to exist.

We part and the aching in my chest almost burns, almost makes me want to shut myself away and never come out. Why does it have to be this way? Why must I choose between the ones I love why…It's snowing. I crouch on the floor and sob…why?...WHY does it have to be this way…Zero! 

_Turn my back to the door, feel so much better now, don't even try anymore, nothing left to lose, there's a force that's in the air saying don't look back nowhere, there's a force that's always there…_


	2. 2 Guilty Pleasure

"Zero!" I cried, hastily sitting up in my bed, my heart racing with fear. I clutched my hand to my chest, panting, desperately trying to regain my breath. I held a shaking hand out before me, not even sure if I was awake. Calming down a little, I leaned back against the headboard of the double bed, shutting my eyes, still taking deep breaths. My nightdress was sticky with sweat, and clung to my skin in a way that made me feel sick. I wiped my cheek with my trembling hand…I was crying, just as I had been in my dream. It had been months since that night, yet I kept reliving that event in my dreams.

I was a little relieved that Kaname wasn't here to see me in such a state yet again…sadly it was becoming more and more frequent, and although I'd lied to Kaname about what was causing me to act in such a way…I was sure he knew what it was that bothered me. I could see it in his sorrowful eyes, and every time I awoke to see him stroking my head lovingly with that sorrowful look…I seemed to fall apart a little more. The guilt was unbearable. I didn't want to worry Kaname, the man who had been so good to me, and was patient with me despite me being slow to learn the vampire ways. I loved Kaname, unconditionally, yet…in everything I did….I could still feel Zero there with me. It was agony…no matter how hard I tried I couldn't let him go. Not that I WANTED to let him go….but I wanted to please Kaname.

I could see through the thick drapes that it was still light…something I was having trouble adjusting to…sleeping during the day. I ran a hand through my tangled hair. I smiled a little. I'd been tempted to cut it after it grew, finding it far more convenient having short hair, yet Kaname had insisted I keep it long for his own pleasure. I didn't mind. It wasn't as if I hated it, and really I owed him, and would give anything to bring him happiness, no matter how small the gesture. Why….did Zero's face seem to flash through my mind…even when I was thinking about Kaname.

I tucked my legs in so that I could rest my chin on my knees, hugging my legs with my arms. I shut my eyes, trying to clear my mind of all thoughts…except Zero. I wanted to remember his face clearly. I frowned…I could picture him perfectly…except for his face, which always seemed to be out of focus, and it was infuriating! Whenever I didn't WANT to see him…his image was crystal clear, but whenever I desperately longed to see him…I couldn't.

My eyes stung from crying in my sleep, and my body yearned for rest. I sighed, listening to my heartbeat which had slowed considerably since I'd woken. Rest…if Kaname knew I'd been awoken by the same dream…nightmare again…he wouldn't be pleased. I wouldn't allow him to know how deeply my feelings for Zero ran. I wouldn't hurt him in that way, not if I could help it. It was the right thing to do; protecting him from the cruel truth, as much as I loved him, there was a part of me that would forever remain unsatisfied, part of me that would always love Zero. It was the right thing to do…so why…did it hurt me so much? Tears again. I shook my head. No…I would go back to sleep and forget…because I could never return, I could never see him again. He'll kill me if we meet again.

I slipped back under the covers, still feeling damp with sweat, but my body was too weary to care, and my mind…my mind longed for Zero, so I would sleep, because only in my dreams was I free to visit him again and again without any strings attached… even if it were only a pleasant memory. Once more I shut my eyes, and allowed my fingers to venture to my lips, gently brushing my fingertips against them, trying to recall how Zero's mouth felt…

_And I'll never be quite the same as I was before this, part of you still remains but it's out of focus, you're just somewhere that I've been and I won't go back again, you're just somewhere that I've been…_


	3. 3 Study Time

I sat at a desk, my head propped up with my hand, a book sat abandoned in front of me. I shut my eyes, promising to open them after a few moments rest and continue studying the work Aido had left me. I chuckled wearily, another thing that hadn't changed…I still struggled to study, and wasn't doing well academically. I was told there were things a pureblood had to know, therefore if I were to become 'equal' to my dear Kaname, these were lessons I would have to learn. Hah, as if I would ever see myself as 'equal' to Kaname.

I was dozing somewhat peacefully when I heard the click of the front door opening. I sat up, and uttered a small moan, still feeling incredibly tired. I quickly rubbed at my eyes, swiftly standing up and making my way out of the study. I hurried out to greet Kaname, beaming at him from the top of the staircase. He smiled back, a smile that still made me melt even now. I scurried down the large staircase, being careful not to stumble in my heeled shoes, yet another thing I was yet to get used to. Removing his coat he smiled warmly at me, extending a hand out to my face and caressing my cheek lovingly. He moved in to kiss my lips, but at the last minute I moved so that his lips brushed my cheek. Why was it I still acted like such a child? I was his fiancé and I couldn't even kiss his lips…  
>"Yuki…you still act so modestly around me, I hope that this won't last too long." I never knew how to reply when he said things like that, so I just shook my head and smiled. I jumped a little as he rested his fingertips on my chin, tilting my head up to look him in the eye. He suddenly seemed melancholy.<p>

"You haven't…been sleeping well again?" More of a statement than a question really. I turned my head away, fearing if he stared into my eyes too long he'd see into my soul…he'd see…he'd see Zero. He sighed and pulled me close to him. I wrapped my arms around him and clung tightly to his shirt. I love you so much. I kept having to remind myself, because if I didn't I'd end up feeling guilty because of how much my mind wandered to thoughts of Zero.

"Have you been keeping up with your studies?" He asked softly. I tensed. Why did he have to ask? Surely he already knew the answer. He looked down into my guilty face and grinned knowingly. My face was like an open book to him, and at times like this, although an inconvenience for me, I didn't mind…but what if…he could see clearly my innermost secrets. The nights I awoke in tears, trembling in his arms, barely even conscious, whispering Zero's name as if in some kind of trance…surely he could see then what truly bothered me, though he never said it. 

"Perhaps some form of punishment is in order!" He declared a mischievous grin on his face. Yes, even the serious pureblood Kaname Kuran could be playful when he wanted to be. Still, I was drowsy, and it must have shown clearly, because instead of pursuing this comment he simply ran a hand through my hair and wandered past me towards the study. I followed eager to hear whatever he would surely tell me about his time away. He seated himself on one of the red leather sofas, and beckoned for me to join him on the cushion beside him. Of course I did, carefully tucking the skirt of my dress beneath me before sinking into the cool leather of the chair.

"At some point Yuki, we're going to introduce you to the vampire community, at something like the soiree you witnessed some months back." I looked up at him in shock. I hadn't been expecting something like this. Introduce me to the vampire community… I wasn't ready yet. I guiltily glanced over at the abandoned pile of books Aido had ordered me to read.

"Yes, that means you will have to keep studying, it is important that you know our history." He told me, picking up a book from the table beside him and flicking through it carelessly. Of course he already knew what he needed to, he was a respectable pureblood…but I…I couldn't compare.

"Some of the vampires there may not be kind Yuki, they may ask you questions purely for the pleasure of seeing you squirm in an awkward situation…many vampires love to see purebloods in such situations." He said thoughtfully, frowning deeply at the book he was handling. I stared down at my lap, clutching my hands tightly together. I felt frightened of these vampires I'd never even met. Kaname looked up from the book, seeming to sense the change in mood. He slipped his hand around my waist, pulling me close to him.

"It isn't for a long time Yuki, so please don't worry too much…besides, it is an event that is supposed to be enjoyed, and I want you to enjoy it." He said kindly, stroking my hair soothingly. I wanted to reply but I felt so sleepy I couldn't muster the strength. To enjoy myself…he wanted me to enjoy myself… 


	4. 4 Going Under

I'm wandering around a vast ballroom alone…well not alone, there are so many beautiful people surrounding me I can barely move. I get the feeling that I'm lost…where's Kaname? Didn't I come here with Kaname? It's like he told me….people keep stopping me to ask me questions, questions I don't know the answers to yet…I try to maintain a regal composure, and acknowledge them with a kind smile and a nod. Finally, I manage to push my way through the crowd more, I turn left and right, desperate to spot him…I'm so confused…I catch a glimpse of a familiar face, though only for a moment. Kaname. I pry my way through the gaggle of finely dressed bodies, never forgetting to say 'thank you' and 'I'm sorry' whenever I manage to push past someone.

"Yuki." A voice calls to me from the opposite direction. I quickly turn and hurry back through the crowd. I'm becoming more and more distressed as more people stop me to ask questions. I'm losing my patience, becoming frightened. I find myself acting less and less ladylike, and with each question I answer incorrectly a cold hand grabs me, pulling me back.

"Yuki…" His familiar voice is so close! Yet I seem to have forgotten which way I was going, and as more hands tug at my arms and rip my ball gown I become increasingly confused, and terrified. I can feel tears sliding down my cheeks. No he'd told me not to let my guard down, this is what they wanted. I call out for him but he doesn't reply. I trip and fall to the ground, adding insult to injury. They gather around me, I can't tell what they're doing to me exactly but it's killing me. I gasp as I feel fangs pricking my skin, and now they're taking my blood…I'm terrified. I scream for help but no sound comes out. I curl into a defensive to position, a useless gesture but all I can do. 

"Aren't purebloods meant to possess great power?" A voice nearby asks, a question that seems to cut into my confidence like a blade. Still they tug at me despite my protests, where is he? 

"Hah, this girl is not worthy of the title pureblood…" Another voice says mockingly. I struggle, desperate to regain control. They're right…I have no idea what powers I posses…if I posses any. He never taught me how to use my power!

"She's not worthy of the name Kuran." Someone whispers in my ear, sending chills down my spine. I open my mouth to protest but it seems I've lost the power to even speak. He'll be so disappointed, there's no way he'll forgive me for this… 

I shut my eyes tight and pray for it to end….and like that they all seem to be gone, but I'm too scared to open my eyes and see for myself. I cry out as I feel strong arms lift me up. Kaname. He flings me over his shoulder and carries me away effortlessly. I open my eyes and realise I'm being carried in what's called a fireman's lift…it isn't Kaname's usual style, but I suppose this is my punishment.

I feel the cold night air hit me; I'm being carried away from the ball room. Thank goodness, I never want to attend another soiree again. I'm placed down on a bench rather roughly. I open my eyes once more, not even realising I'd closed them again…

"Thank you for rescuing me…" is all I can seem to manage before bursting into tears again. He ruffles my hair affectionately; though his hand seems to hesitate… my heart skips a beat…such a gesture…Kaname? 

I look up at my hero and my jaw almost drops. Kaname…no…I stare up into the stern face of none other than Zero. Why was he here? The boy I hadn't seen in so long…is now standing here in front of me…and he's giving the same look he always gave me… 

"Zero!" I'm crying with joy! How I've longed to see him again, and as foolish as I know it is, I can't stop myself from leaping up and wrapping my arms around him tightly. I keep repeating his name…as if to prove to myself that it IS him, and he IS standing in front of me. He strokes my cheek tenderly, his expression softening. 

"Same useless Yuki." He says in a way that only I can understand to be affectionate. I can't stop my tears from falling, I can barely even breath. I see the gun clutched in his other hand and it hits me…the last time we saw one another…he vowed to kill me. I shake my head tearfully. No he wouldn't….surely not now….not after he'd saved me.

"I came here to kill you…but…." He didn't finish, shaking his head. Still he didn't put the gun away….

"I can't…and everyday…I realise that…I can't go on without you…" He says, not looking me in the eye. His body's trembling as he raises the gun, but not at me…at himself. I gasp. He wouldn't.

"Zero…this isn't like you…I…please don't…I love.." I stutter, I can't make the words form properly, I can't make sense of it, none of it made sense...the world seemed to spin and I heard the gunshot as he pulled the trigger, and I screamed. Now I screamed so loud I was sure the entire world would hear it.

"ZERO!"

"Yuki…Yuki!" Kaname's voice. I was still screaming, but as I regained my senses I opened my eyes, and through the blur of my tears I saw Kaname's worried face staring down at me. My body relaxed as I realised I'd been thrashing around. He used his thumb to wipe my tears away. I threw my arms around his neck and sobbed, long painful sobs, the kind you only cry a handful of times in your life.

"Zero…" I whispered, for a moment forgetting it was Kaname I was clutching, and silently prayed that even after that he didn't know whose face really haunted me every night. I felt sick with guilt, and started coughing uncontrollably, coughing so hard I was retching. Kaname rubbed my back gently. I hated making him worry, but still I saw no end in sight…so I would continue to be haunted by the one I loved…

_I'm breathing in, breathing out ain't that what it's all about? Living life, crazy loud…Like I have the right to...No more words in my mouth, nothing left to figure out. But I don't think I'll ever break through…The ghost of you..._


	5. 5 Daydream or Nightmare

I'm trembling as I reach for a wash cloth, dipping it momentarily into the hot bath water, before wringing out the excess water. My breaths are still shaky, but I do my best to conceal my fear from him. I can feel little droplets of warm water sliding down my hands, and dripping on to the bathroom floor. The warmth of the droplets is somewhat comforting to me, and I quickly give the boy in front of me a small shaky smile.

_So much blood…is he injured or…is it someone else's?_

I can't help but wonder what this boy has seen…and I can't help but wonder how much it has changed him. I carefully wipe at his neck which is drenched in blood. I shiver a little as I wipe it away, almost too frightened to see what lies beneath the gore…to my relief he isn't injured. 

I bend down and rinse the cloth in the bathwater, watching the blood run out of the cloth and into the water, tainting it as it forms in clouds, spreading further into the water. I wring it out again returning to the boy's neck. As I clean him I glance up at his face, catching a glimpse of his fierce expression. So this was what pure hatred looked like. Part of me told me I should be a little scared of this boy…but another part of me wanted to cherish him, and make sure that he was going to be okay… He needed me. 

"Yuki!" Aido snapped, drawing me out of my trance. He slammed the book he was holding down on the desk in front of me, a furious expression on his face. I stared blankly at him, still not completely conscious.

"This is getting serious Yuki! Kaname-sama wants me to teach you, but how am I supposed to do that when all you do is stare of into the distance and daydream?" He demanded. My expression softened. I felt bad for him…I didn't purposely do it, nowadays these visions seemed to be coming more frequently, and were lasting longer and longer. He rubbed his temples with his finger tips, he looked incredibly stressed. 

"Day….dreaming?" I asked. That had been far too vivid to be a normal daydream. It was as if I'd been in a deep sleep, and if I was honest with myself, I hadn't wanted to wake up from it. The memory of that day almost five years ago now…I gripped the edge of the desk at the memory. It seemed so long ago, but I had recalled it so vividly in my dream…or trance as it were. That day had been the day everything had changed…and even so…I would never change that day, because it meant the world to me.

"Let's…leave it for today. Clearly you aren't taking in anything I'm saying, so we'll just try again tomorrow." Aido stood up, shaking his head. He looked tired. I stuttered, trying to form an apology, but my throat felt dry, and no words came out. I shook my head. What was wrong with me? Isn't this what I'd always wanted? To be with Kaname, to learn everything about him, everything about the vampires that I wouldn't ever be able to learn otherwise? I'd always dreamt of the day Kaname would whisk me away into his mysterious world, and show me a side of him he would never allow anyone else to see. 

I clenched my teeth tightly together, shutting my eyes to prevent the tears that were welling up from escaping. I winced, feeling my own fang pierce my lip. I let out a small gasp, still not used to having fangs. I jumped as Aido lifted my chin up with his fingers, using his other hand to wipe away the small trickle of blood that has started to seep from my lip. He stared at the blood on his fingertip, raising it to his lips. He paused, seeming to reconsider, before pulling a handkerchief from his pocket, and wiping it off on there instead. I tilted my head and looked at him curiously.

"Kaname-sama would be unhappy if I tasted your blood…even if only a drop of it." He explained coolly. He sat back down in the chair opposite me and took my hands in his. I wondered if he could feel my hands trembling.

"Yuki, if you don't know it already…Kaname-sama is incredibly worried about you…about your behaviour." Aido looked into my eyes seriously, and I felt a pang of fear, I felt as if he were trying to see into my soul by looking me in the eye. I couldn't stand it, and looked away.

"Kaname-sama knows the truth Yuki, but he won't say it...but I will. We both know Yuki…the reason you're acting this way…it's because of Zero." And just like that, Aido exposed my worst fears. I looked hastily back at him, a pleading look on my face. No…how could he possibly know? Then my thoughts wandered back to a few nights ago….I'd been sobbing Zero's name….Oh how could he NOT know? Was I so naïve to think he hadn't noticed. I clenched my fists, shaking my head. It was all I could do to stop the tears from welling up and falling. I stared at my lap, watching my guilty tears start to blur my vision.

"Yuki." Aido paused before continuing. "Yuki, look at me. Sure I don't know exactly what there is between Zero and you….but you have to let it go, as much as you possibly can!" Aido pleaded with me, squeezing my hands tightly in his. I clenched my teeth, willing the growing lump in my throat to subside. No. No. I wouldn't cry in front of Aido, I wouldn't show him just how much I pined for Zero! I shook my head, no I couldn't possibly let Zero go he meant so much to me!

"Yuki!" Aido sounded desperate, and gently took my chin in one of his hands, forcing me to look him in the eye. My lower lip trembled despite my secret vow not to cry. I could see the sympathy in his expression, but the desperation and determination were also present. He knew I had to get over Zero, that was all he knew, and I knew he meant well but no, no one could make me let Zero go!

"If you go on like this…Yuki you'll make yourself ill, you're already making yourself ill! You're becoming a shell, you don't eat or sleep! Kaname-sama….Kaname-sama is SO worried about you Yuki! Do it for him if not for yourself!" He was begging me. His voice, his eyes, everything screamed it; he was begging me to give Zero up. I couldn't cope. The lump in my throat seemed to constrict my breathing, guilt, fear; so many emotions were whirling around in my mind!

"I….I can't!" I sobbed, I knew it was selfish but I felt so overwhelmed. I stood up, running from him. My head was spinning and so was the room, and then I felt my legs give way and I fell to the floor, wincing in pain as I landed awkwardly. I saw Aido running over to help me, reaching out for me. He said something but I didn't seem to hear what. I blacked out. 


	6. 6 Yuki's worst fear

I awoke in a small room I don't recall ever seeing before, yet it seemed very familiar…It was a peculiar sensation that can't easily be explained. I tried to remember how I had ended up in here but again I couldn't quite recall them memory. I sit up, realising I'm in a small single bed as the bed cover slips off me. I look down at myself, and stare down in disbelief. I'm dressed in the familiar Cross Academy day class uniform. I peer around the room in confusion. It's dark though not night time just yet. Through a crack in the thick curtains I can still see the glare of the setting Sun. I raise a hand to my sensitive eyes as a shield. I glance around. There is not much to this room….I frown. This is definitely not a room in Kaname….our house. I can see already that this is an apartment….but…why am I in an apartment? Why am I in my Cross Academy uniform? I shake my head. I have no clue.

I jump as I hear a metallic click; someone is unlocking the door to the apartment. I reach beneath the covers to my thigh, feeling my holster for the Artemis rod. I feel its familiar shape and wrap my hand around it, more to reassure myself than anything else. My eyes widen as the silver haired boy enters the apartment, his hair dripping with rain….I frown once more. It wasn't raining outside. He turns to look at me, not at all fazed by my presence. It occurred to me that this was Zero's apartment. I blush. Why am I in Zero's apartment…in his bed? I let the Artemis rod go, smiling weakly at him. He says nothing, just stares blankly at me. Not even his familiar and almost comforting glare. Blank. I feel the hairs on my neck rise. Something seems out of place. 

"Zero" My voice comes out croaky, and I rub my throat, coughing a little to clear it before trying again. "Zero are you okay?" I ask softly. My heart flutters with sudden fear as I pick up the scent of blood. I realise his hair is not wet with rain but with sweat and blood….how did I not see it before? His head lolls to one side as he stares at me. Was he hurt? Either way my heart pounds and I uneasily rise from the bed. 

He opens his mouth, as if to say something but he pauses. He stares at my face, but his gaze travel down, and stops at my neck. He must be injured and hungry. I smile reassuringly at him.

"Do you want some?" I ask, trying to coax him into speaking. Still he stares, and the more he stares the more uneasy I become. His mouth still hangs open a little, and I can see the tattoo on his neck glowing red. Looking at his face his eyes have began to glow the same shade of red. I back away from him, my instincts warning me something is seriously wrong. 

"Yuki…" He mutters, but his voice comes out as more of a growl, an animal sounding noise. He moans, finally breaking his gaze and he begins to scratch at his neck, stumbling away from me towards the door. He seems to lose control and falls to the floor breathing heavily. He gasps, his breathing shallow as he leans against the only exit in the dank apartment. I keep moving back, fearful for some reason. He keeps growling, and as he grimaces I see his fangs. He's bearing his fangs. He cries out in pain, his hands twitching violently. His nails seem to elongate, and his veins seem to be popping out of his arms. He screams, another animal sounds escapes his lips, and he claws at the door, leaving large gash marks in the wood. The tattoo on his neck glows more brightly than I've seen it glow before, and eerie red that reminds me of blood. He growls, more frightening noises as he seems to transform into more of an animal than the Zero I know. 

I back away more, yelping as I trip on a table leg and fall to the floor. I tremble. I rub my throbbing ankle with on hand before looking back towards the frightening man that Zero was becoming. A chill ran down my spine. He was staring at me again, his head lolling once more, but now his mouth was twisted into a frightening smile, his brow furrowed into a frown. What one would call an evil looking smile. I mouthed his name, but some how knew this was not the Zero I knew. He stood up uneasily and lurched towards me. Fear kept me rooted to the spot. Getting his bearings he lunges, amazingly fast, and pushes me to the floor. 

"Zero.." I whimper as he grins in a twisted way. I want finally find the will to move again and struggle against him, but he forces me back down to the floor, slamming my head down hard on the wooden floor. I cry out, but receive no response from the terrifying man above me. I sob as I feel his hand sliding down my leg, his sharp talon like nails sink into my thigh drawing blood. I shakily reach for the Artemis rod as he preoccupies himself with the blood flowing from my leg, it stings but it's bearable. I snatch it, forcing it to comply with me and shoving him away from me with it.

"Yu…ki" He growled in an almost demonic voice. I could feel tears slipping down my cheeks. Though he still remembered my name….this was most certainly not Zero, this was…..a level E. A choked sob erupted from my body, today was the day I had promised him would never come…he'd been doing so well I hadn't expected him to fall to level E, why now, why all of a sudden had he finally lost himself?

It's YOUR fault Yuki; you left him alone, you left him! If you had stayed with him he wouldn't have lost himself and fallen to level E!

I was fighting with my conscience, no no I couldn't possibly have stayed! He had vowed to kill me for being a pureblood….but still some part of me was admitting it was my fault! I struggled with my conscience, almost forgetting about the terrifying being before me. I scream as the terrifying thing that had been Zero wrenches the Artemis rod from my grasp, flinging it across the room. It falls to the floor with a deafening clatter, a clatter that makes my stomach churn with fear. I'm suddenly defenceless.

He pounces on me, forcing my body back to the ground. His strength is frightening. I fight against him, kicking and screaming, my arms flail uselessly. It seems I'm no match for him. He grabs hold of my arms, pinning them to the floor above my head so that my body is left defenceless. One hand pinning my arms down, he uses the other to grab hold of my neck. Once again his strength amazes me; such a simple gesture had almost paralysed me, probably more with fear than anything else. I manage to regain the power to use my legs, and start to kick him violently. He uses his legs to hold me still; since he's straddling me he pretty much has all the power. I gulp. I try to scream again but my mouth is too dry to make a sound. He lowers his lips to my neck baring his fangs. My tears fall silently as I wait for his fangs to pierce my neck. He seems to hesitate for just a moment before plunging his sharp fangs into my neck. I whimper in pain, he's not gentle like he used to be, he allows his fangs to sink deeply into my neck before drinking. I keep squeaking in pain, it hurts more than it's ever hurt before. He's removed his hand from my neck, his mouth keeping me in place now, and bats my hair away from my neck, scratching me with his nails as he does.

I know he's going to finish me off this time, and honestly I'm terrified. He releases my arms from his vice like grip, but I'm already too weak to put up any kind of fight. I shut my eyes and pretend this horrific scene isn't happening. In my mind I can picture the day Zero had given me that gun…the gun he told me to use on him when he became a level E. The gun had kind of given me the creeps…the thought that it would one day be used to kill someone so close to me. I almost laughed; it seems I'd had nothing to fear, as the gun was probably still locked in my desk drawer back in my old dorm at Cross Academy. I wondered if Zero would be disappointed if he were conscious enough to realise I hadn't kept my promise. That hurt. The though of letting him down. I opened my eyes. I couldn't let him down again, I'd already done so much to hurt him, I had to stop him. I could feel my own blood trickling down my shirt, and it made me feel sick. 

"I'm sorry Zero." I whispered, and realising he'd stopped restraining me I brought my knee up, and it collided hard with his stomach. He chocked, letting go of my neck and stumbling back. I was severely weakened, but I dragged my body across the floor towards the discarded Artemis rod. I moaned, my body felt heavy, and my vision was blurred. He'd recovered and lunged at me again, making sounds similar to that of an enraged animal. 

I managed to roll out of the way, and pulled my weary body closer to the rod that would ironically save my life but end his. I gasped as I felt his nails dig into my leg; he was pulling my body towards him, laughing psychotically as he did. It took all of my strength to pull away from him. Stretching my arm out my fingers brushed the edge of the Artemis rod, but Zero was still wrenching at my leg. He was grasping my foot tightly, not letting me get any closer. I groan of fatigue escaped from my lips, and with what energy I had I managed to kick him in the face. I silently apologised to him, but knowing I only had seconds to make my move, I snatch the Artemis rod and feel the familiar connection I had to it as it elongated, ready for use.

"Zero!" I scream his hands wrap around the rod as well, we silently struggle for control, but the rod sends a shock through his hands, forcing him to let go. I unsteadily rise to my feet, brandishing the rod ready for his next assault. I fall back, leaning against the wall for support, the room seems to be spinning, my blood is still flowing from my neck, enticing him more. He runs at me, ready to dodge the rod and finish me off, but I manage to duck at the last minute, using the end of the rod to cut through him with a frightening power that only injures vampires. 

The monster stumbles back; the mark of the rod is burnt into his forehead. I'm confused, he should be turning to dust before my eyes, what did I do wrong? Zero's eyes stop glowing, and he falls to his knees, staring sorrowfully up at me. His body trembles uncontrollably as he stares at me. It wasn't a look of hatred, but a look of…fear. It was a look I have never seen on Zero's face before.

"Yuki…" He mutters, even his voice is filled with fear, and he reaches out to touch me. It was Zero, what had I done? The monster I had seen before me….had it been an illusion? I drop the rod, not caring what happens to it, I run to him, kneeling before him and taking his hands. 

"Why?" He whispers in a voice that uncharacteristically trembles with emotion. I shake my head, sobbing as it finally happens, his body rips apart and dust is all that is left. I feel sick as the dust coats me, in my hair, in my eyes, in my mouth, I can taste it and it makes me want to vomit. I sob, retching and choking on the taste in my mouth. What had I done? 


	7. 7 Facing the truth

"ZERO!" I screamed his name as I always did when I awoke from a nightmare. I was gasping and choking for breath, trying to come to terms with the fact it had only been a dream, that Zero wasn't really dead. Only…how did I KNOW he wasn't dead? I hadn't seen him since…my fingers brushed my lips as they seemed to do so often lately, and for a brief moment I was allowed to remember the first and last kiss he ever gave me.

"Yuki, Yuki can you hear me, Yuki!" Aido's voice sounded distant, and it took all of my will to turn and look at the troubled looking blond beside me. I tilted my head and looked at him, my face expressionless. I felt strangely calm despite waking up in hysterics, it seemed remembering the moment Zero and I had shared together months ago reminded me that although his hatred for me was probably increasing all the time, there had been a time where he had loved me, and we had been allowed to share one kiss without being condemned for it. I stared into Aido's light blue eyes, light blue eyes filled with concern…and a flicker of….not hatred…it wasn't that strong…it was the kind of emotion I couldn't quite decipher…it wasn't hatred, I wasn't even sure it were mild dislike….what was it?

"Why Yuki?" Aido demanded, taking my shoulders and actually shaking me. I blinked at him in shock. He was gripping my shoulders tightly, and I flinched as the pressure he was putting on me actually began to hurt. I stared at him with a mixture of fear and confusion. He seemed to pick up on my fear and looked a little shocked. Realising what he'd been doing he quickly released me, apologising and looking away.

"I just…you were dreaming about Zero again, weren't you." He turned and glared at me again. I opened my mouth to lie, but then I remembered screaming Zero's name when I'd awoken….I sighed, staring at my lap and nodding. He let out a sigh of exasperation and scratched the back of his head. Would Aido tell Kaname about what had happened?

"Yuki, I know you can't DO much about what you dream about…but this is seriously hurting both you and Kaname-sama." Aido began. He stood up, pacing around the room as if trying to decide what to say next. "Yuki, please, Kaname-sama ADORES you, and…I know you feel the same, but you NEED to let go of Zero, it'll drive you and Kaname apart if you don't!" He went on; I could hear the desperation, and also the aggravation growing in his voice with each passing moment. I wanted to cry again, why was it whenever Zero's name came up I wanted to fall apart? 

"I….I want to Aido, I really do but I-" I began, but Aido cut me of, hands on his hips and a frown on his face. He would've looked almost comical if it weren't for the anger almost radiating from him. I gulped, now I'd done it.

"You MUST! Do you know how I worried I was when you fainted? Well Kaname-sama must feel ten times worse when something like that happens because he loves you dearly Yuki! You HAVE to do something, this is…this is selfish! You SAY you want to let Zero go, but I can see it in your eyes, I can hear it in the tone of your voice, you're hesitating, you don't WANT to let him go, THAT is why you can't!" Aido declared, and though it hurt so much to hear those words, I knew he was right. In a single moment Aido had exposed everything, all of my secrets. He was right. It was my fault was tortured nightly by such horrible nightmares. If I wanted to let Zero go, I would have by now….but as it was…I wasn't ready to let him go…I was crying, much to my dismay but I couldn't hold it in. I sobbed into my hands; my body shook with the familiar breaths that come with crying.

"I-I can't Aido! I want to…b-b-ut I just can't! I can't I can't!" I cried through a stream of tears. I kept blubbering 'I can't' incoherently into the palms of my hands, until I felt Aido's hand collide with my cheek. I fell sideways onto the leather couch from the force with which he'd slapped me. I stopped crying, and raised my hands to my throbbing cheek in shock. I looked up at him in pure astonishment and I held my face, it stung. He wasn't looking at me; he stood with his hands by his sides, curled into fists, and was breathing deeply, presumably in anger.

"A-Aido." I whispered a little fearfully. I hadn't been expecting that. He took one final deep breath before calming enough to look at me. He glanced at the hand that I held over my face, and sighed, sitting beside me. I trembled as he extended his hand out to my face, gently moving my own hand away and examining my cheek himself.

"I'm sorry for slapping you, it was wrong of me but I felt it was necessary Yuki….I'll go get some ice." He spoke in a low and almost begrudging tone before rising and leaving he room. I let out a breath I didn't even realise I'd been holding. I stared after him in shock and disbelief. I felt ashamed. I guess I was being selfish. Kaname, my dear Kaname….he'd done so much for me, and all I ever seemed to do was hurt him in return. My heart seemed to ache. Though my cheek continued to sting, my hand somewhat subconsciously travelled to my left wrist, where the bracelet the headmaster had given me to tame Zero hung loosely from my wrist. I frowned to myself, it felt like a completely different lifetime ago…In a way it had been. I'd been a different Yuki then, naïve and ignorant. Aido was right. It was time to let go, I'd been selfish enough, now it was time to let Zero go….

I flinched feeling something cold brush against my skin. Aido was back, holding an icepack wrapped in a towel against my face. I gratefully took it from him, keeping it in place with my own hand. My mind wandered again as I held the cool fabric to my skin. The soiree…I thought to myself, it had to be soon. I decided right then that I would work hard to prepare for the soiree and make Kaname proud. I knew it couldn't possibly atone for all of the selfish and horrible things I'd done to him, it couldn't revoke the hurtful things I'd said during the nights when I'd awoke, trembling in Kaname's arms and pining for Zero. However, it could be a fresh start. I wouldn't hurt Kaname anymore. I wouldn't. 

I was drawn away from my thoughts, hearing Aido clear his throat beside me. He was shifting uncomfortably, nervously. I realised he probably felt awkward, I'd been sitting in silence, just dwelling on my own situation. I removed the icepack from my face, placing it on a small wooden table beside the couch.

"No Yuki you should keep it on." Aido insisted, reaching over me to retrieve it again. I stopped him. So that's what was bothering him. He stared at me for a moment, appearing to be considering arguing against me, but sighed, leaving the pack where it was and leaning back to sit more comfortably on the couch. 

"Don't worry, I won't tell him Aido." I smiled reassuringly at the blond vampire, placing a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. He gave me a puzzled look, not having a clue what I was talking about. 

"I won't tell Kaname about what happened…" I told him, absently raising a hand to my now numbed cheek to clarify what I meant. The blood seemed to drain from his face, perhaps realising that I had some sort of power over him, that if I told Kaname he'd slapped me…I would never though. I knew how quickly Kaname's temper could flair up, and I felt that Aido's actions had been necessary. He shook is his head, swiftly regaining his composure.

"Tell him if you want! I'm willing to face the consequences!" Aido announced, rising from the leather couch and waving off my comment with a simple wave of his hand. I shook my head a small smile on my lips. I knew he was bluffing, I could tell from the way he wouldn't meet my eye and his nervous behaviour a few moments before. We both jumped, the sound of the front door alerting us that Kaname had returned home. Aido, whose gaze had previously been on a tree gently swaying in the breeze outside, turned to me, silently signalling for me to go greet my fiancé. Jumping up, I quickly smoothed my skirt down and fixed my hair so that my cheek was covered. Though it hurt less now the skin on my face was still a little pink from the impact. I hurried down the stairs to meet Kaname, for once genuinely smiling at him instead of plastering a false smile upon my face. 

"Kaname!" I beamed, running over to him. I threw my arms around him embracing him tightly. He seemed to hesitate a little before wrapping his arms around me and hugging me back in return. I rested my head against his warm chest, desperately trying to banish any thoughts of Zero from my mind. I had to forget him and think only of Kaname. 

"Someone is cheerful today." Kaname spoke softly, smiling warmly down at me. I smiled contentedly up at him. I didn't speak; I had n idea what to say. My heart began to race as Kaname lowered his face to mine, and for once I allowed his lips to brush gently against mine. I could feel myself blushing at the closeness between us. The kiss didn't last long, and after a few seconds he pulled away, leaving me with a light headed feeling. Yes, Kaname was still the same man who had always been able to take my breath away. It was childish and silly, but I was sure if he hadn't been holding me at that moment I may have fallen over.

"Yuki, you're blushing." He teased; a blissful smile had graced his lips. This comment caused my pulse to quicken further, and I could feel the familiar heat that came with blushing burning my skin. It made me happy though, seeing Kaname making a joke, it was a rare occurrence that told me he was happy. I flinched as he brushed my hair away from my face, his thumb grazing the cheek Aido slapped. I clenched my teeth against the pain that still lingered. It wasn't too bad, but I knew if I wasn't careful I'd still flinch again if Kaname touched it too hard. He cupped my face with both of his hands, scanning my face. I kept smiling, though my heart was pounding ferociously in my chest, though this time it was with fear. I silently prayed that he would not notice that I had been slapped. I prayed that I would be blushing too much for him to notice how pink my cheek still was. 

"You're beautiful Yuki." Kaname finally spoke, releasing my face and staring into my eyes. I inwardly sighed a sigh of relief. It seemed he hadn't noticed. I gave a soft laugh and smiled gratefully at him.

"Kaname…" I replied bashfully, too embarrassed to meet his eye. He ran a hand through my hair before making his way towards the staircase. I watched him move, he was such a graceful person, sometimes it didn't even seem like he was walking, it was like he was gliding. I adored him. How could I have forgotten that?

"I'll leave you to your studies." He told me, basically instructing me to go back to my studies. I sighed, inwardly loathing the thought of having to read the large pile of books assigned by Aido, only then I remembered my earlier promise. Yes, I would go and study, even if I hated it. I would go and study so I could make Kaname proud. As he ascended the staircase he spoke again, not even turning to look at me, "the soiree is soon…" he said simply, intended to be a side comment. 

"Yes Kaname." I chimed. With a heavy sigh I let go of my thoughts of Zero and all of the earlier events that had taken place that day, and followed my brother, no my fiancé upstairs. I wandered back into the study, sitting back down at the desk and opening one of the books to the front page. 

"Aido…could we maybe…continue the lesson?" I asked pleadingly. I wanted to learn, I really did, and now I had the motivation to succeed. 

After an hour of tutoring I felt drained. I shut the history book we had been studying and sighed deeply. Aido rubbed his temples, looking as exhausted as I felt. Studying had never been my strong suit, and though I had knuckled down and paid attention for the last hour, it had taken a lot of will power. Aido gave me a weary smile, collecting his own texts and standing up.

"Well that went a lot better Yuki, I'm impressed." Aido admitted. I smiled cheerily at him, glad I'd finally made some kind of step towards becoming a better pureblood. I stretched in my seat, about ready to collapse in bed, though I knew I wouldn't.

"Well I'm leaving, remember Yuki, I expect you to read the assigned pages of those books, if you don't there will be trouble!" Aido declared, checking he has all of his things before turning to leave. I waved at him as he left, but watched as Kaname stopped him at the door. 

"Before you leave, I need to speak with you Aido." He said coolly. Aido followed him out of the room without needing to be instructed to do so. Curiosity got the better of me, and I quietly stood up, sneaking over to the door. Not seeing them out in the hallway I crept toward the staircase, peering down and seeing them standing in front of the front door. I couldn't hear what they were saying, though I could tell from Aido's body language it wasn't good. He was staring at his feet, not looking very comfortable. I gasped, watching as Kaname slapped Aido hard across the face. I held my hands over my mouth, trying to suppress the gasp, though I was in shock. Why had Kaname slapped Aido? It appeared that Aido wasn't shocked, and he seemed to hang his head in shame.

"Never lay a hand on Yuki again." Kaname had raised his voice enough for me to hear this one sentence. I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. How had he known? I hadn't told him. He nodded, and seemed to mutter an apology before letting himself out. Kaname stood with his hands by his sides, hands curled into fists. He stood there for a long while.

"Go back to your studies Yuki." He finally spoke in a frosty tone, and I quickly scurried back into the study, not entirely sure how he'd know I was there….I shook my head, I would apologise to Aido tomorrow when he came for my lesson, but for now I had to get back to the history of the vampires that lay within the pages of my textbooks, the soiree was soon… 


	8. 8 Preparing for the ball

It was the night of the soiree. I was pretty sure I'd never felt so nervous before in my life. There was a knot in my stomach that kept pulling tighter with each passing second. So much pressure. I couldn't disappoint Kaname. I sat huddled on the floor in the corner of the elaborate room. A room without windows. My body trembled, and I winced hearing footsteps coming towards me.

"Okay, let's begin." Ruka declared in her authoritative tone. We were in Aido's home, in one of the spare rooms preparing for the soiree that would take place in a few hours time. They had been preparing since we'd arrived a few hours ago, maids had been bustling around, cleaning and priming the vast ball room for the night's event. The preparation itself had struck fear into my heart. Ruka had promised Kaname she would help to dress me and prepare me for the night, knowing all too well I had no idea how to do it myself. I was so out of my comfort zone it was unreal.

"R-Ruka…I don't think I'm going to make it. I'm starting to get nervous….really nervous…" I replied, the last two words were barely audible. Though I had my back to her I could almost feel the anger radiating from her. 

"Stop that! The maids from the Aido family are here too you know!" She ordered the anger apparent in her voice. Clearly she didn't want me to make a fool of myself in front of the Aido staff….it was true, I was a pureblood. Purebloods were meant to maintain a regal composure at all times, to be envied and adored. I expect had I not been taken away from my pureblood family at such a young age, I would be used to such events by now…but as it was fate had arranged things this way…so here I was.

"Don't mind her and get to it!" Ruka snapped at the maids. I felt bad for them; they must have felt awkward seeing a pureblood behaving in such a childish way. Suddenly feeling hands on me I yelped, feeling my clothes being tugged off. I blushed furiously, even if I was nervous I could dress myself! 

"I can dress myself!" I reiterated my thoughts out loud, covering myself with my bare arms. They hadn't stripped me naked, just down to my underwear. I quickly flapped my arms, indicating I wanted to be left alone. They looked to Ruka apprehensively, awaiting instruction from her. She rolled her eyes at me. The maids brought me my dress that I would be making my first public appearance in. It wasn't exactly my style…no…it wasn't exactly Yuki Cross's style….but it was Yuki Kuran's. 

Though I was allowed to dress myself, they still fluttered around me, straitening the skirts out, and fastening the dress properly. Yes, the last thing I needed was to have my dress come undone during the soiree. I smiled gratefully as one of the young women tied the large ribbon that sat beneath my chest, tying it into a large bow. Even tied, I noticed the long ribbon trailed down the front of my dress, right down to the hem of the dress that fell just above the carpeted floor.

Once they were finished, I stepped toward the long mirror before me, surprised to find I actually liked the elaborate dress. The short sleeves were made of a chiffon type material. The dress was modest, and the skirts flowed gently over my waist and hips, not accentuating them. I turned slightly. Admiring the layers of frilled skirts that could only been seen through a parting at the back of the dress. I actually smiled, feeling for the first time like a pureblood.

Ruka beckoned for me to sit with her at the dressing table so she could apply make up and accessories. I felt a little intimidated by Ruka; she was kind and caring, but also authoritative like an older sister almost. She fastened a pearl earring into each of my ears, before handing me a pearl necklace that matched. Lifting my hair I fastened the necklace myself, admiring the shimmer of the pearls.

"You're going to see many people you already know." Ruka informed me as she placed a pearl covered headband on top of my head, carefully smoothing my hair down with it. I nodded, picturing all of those from the night class…Aido, Kain, Shiki, Rima. "But make sure you don't lose your calm demeanour, just because there are friendly faces." She finished, handing me a pair of elegant gloves. I gulped.

"I'll be careful." I sincerely promised. Why was it…Zero seemed to come to mind when she'd said 'be careful'. I sighed, would Zero even be there? It was possible, but I wouldn't say it was likely. Still…even if he was there….we were now in two separate worlds. We weren't to meet again, not as allies anyway. Always lusting for the other's blood, but never able to satisfy the thirst…


	9. 9 'I have moved on'

AN-I finally got round to updating this again! The last time I was updated was May-time, so this chapter is long overdue really….I think I was a little put off since a chunk of it is really just copying a scene from the manga , I hope I was able to convey the feelings that were there in the manga and make it sound like I wasn't just copying lines from it ^^'''. Well enjoy! Please let me know what you think! =).

P.S-I promise I won't take as long to update again next time! ^^'

It was the night of the soiree. I was pretty sure I'd never felt so nervous before in my life. There was a knot in my stomach that kept pulling tighter with each passing second. So much pressure. I couldn't disappoint Kaname. I sat huddled on the floor in the corner of the elaborate room. A room without windows. My body trembled, and I winced hearing footsteps coming towards me.

"Okay, let's begin." Ruka declared in her authoritative tone. We were in Aido's home, in one of the spare rooms preparing for the soiree that would take place in a few hours time. They had been preparing since we'd arrived a few hours ago, maids had been bustling around, cleaning and priming the vast ball room for the night's event. The preparation itself had struck fear into my heart. Ruka had promised Kaname she would help to dress me and prepare me for the night, knowing all too well I had no idea how to do it myself. I was so out of my comfort zone it was unreal.

"R-Ruka…I don't think I'm going to make it. I'm starting to get nervous….really nervous…" I replied, the last two words were barely audible. Though I had my back to her I could almost feel the anger radiating from her.

"Stop that! The maids from the Aido family are here too you know!" She ordered, the anger apparent in her voice. Clearly she didn't want me to make a fool of myself in front of the Aido staff….it was true, I was a pureblood. Purebloods were meant to maintain a regal composure at all times, to be envied and adored. I expect had I not been taken away from my pureblood family at such a young age, I would be used to such events by now…but as it was fate had arranged things this way…so here I was.

"Don't mind her and get to it!" Ruka snapped at the maids. I felt bad for them, they must have felt awkward seeing a pureblood behaving in such a childish way. Suddenly feeling hands on me I yelped, feeling my clothes being tugged off. I blushed furiously, even if I was nervous I could dress myself!

"I can dress myself!" I reiterated my thoughts out loud, covering myself with my bare arms. They hadn't stripped me naked, just down to my underwear. I quickly flapped my arms, indicating I wanted to be left alone. They looked to Ruka apprehensively, awaiting instruction from her. She rolled her eyes at me. The maids brought me my dress that I would be making my first public appearance in. It wasn't exactly my style…no…it wasn't exactly Yuki Cross's style….but it was Yuki Kuran's.

Though I was allowed to dress myself, they still fluttered around me, straitening the skirts out, and fastening the dress properly. Yes, the last thing I needed was to have my dress come undone during the soiree. I smiled gratefully as one of the young women tied the large ribbon that sat beneath my chest, tying it into a large bow. Even tied, I noticed the long ribbon trailed down the front of my dress, right down to the hem of the dress that fell just above the carpeted floor.

Once they were finished, I stepped toward the long mirror before me, surprised to find I actually liked the elaborate dress. The short sleeves were made of a chiffon type material. The dress was modest, and the skirts flowed gently over my waist and hips, not accentuating them. I turned slightly. Admiring the layers of frilled skirts that could only been seen through a parting at the back of the dress. I actually smiled, feeling for the first time like a pureblood.

Ruka beckoned for me to sit with her at the dressing table so she could apply make up and accessories. I felt a little intimidated by Ruka, she was kind and caring, but also authoritative like an older sister almost. She fastened a pearl earring into each of my ears, before handing me a pearl necklace that matched. Lifting my hair I fastened the necklace myself, admiring the shimmer of the pearls.

"You're going to see many people you already know." Ruka informed me as she placed a pearl covered headband on top of my head, carefully smoothing my hair down with it. I nodded, picturing all of those from the night class…Aido, Kain, Shiki, Rima. "But make sure you don't lose your calm demeanour, just because there are friendly faces." She finished, handing me a pair of elegant gloves. I gulped.

"I'll be careful." I sincerely promised. Why was it…Zero seemed to come to mind when she'd said 'be careful'. I sighed, would Zero even be there? It was possible, but I wouldn't say it was likely. Still…even if he was there….we were now in two separate worlds. We weren't to meet again, not as allies anyway. Always lusting for the other's blood, but never able to satisfy the thirst…My mind wandered to my dear Kaname. He was surely speaking with the hunter society as I sat frivolously priming myself for the soiree. It did bother me that I was so useless, like a mere child as much as I wanted to help, I knew I would just be a hindrance to him right now.

I was left alone when Ruka had finished working on my appearance, satisfied that I was presentable. As always was isolated in a windowless room by myself. I stood up from the stool I had been perched on, finding my back was aching too much to tolerate sitting there for much longer. I quickly checked my hair in the mirror, such a feminine thing to do, before smoothing my dress down. I tested my balance in the high-heeled shoes. I took a few practice strides across the dimly lit room. The weight of the many skirts floating beneath the dress seemed to throw my balance a little.

I didn't feel comfortable in the candle lit room all alone. It felt as if I had been thrown back in time, into some Victorian type house. I wrapped my fingers around one of the golden beams supporting the four-poster bed. Despite the ornate appearance of the room, it didn't feel homely. The furniture in the room was clearly meant to create the illusion of homeliness. The grand bed was covered with a delicate snow white cover, the pillow plumped and inviting. The dressing table and stools were the only other items of furniture in the room. No. This room didn't feel 'lived in'. It seemed to me that vampire homes were more designed to look elegant than built for comfort, a strange prospect it seemed considering the lifespan of vampires far exceeded that of humans….surely vampires should design their homes to be lived in, considering the amount of time they would spend in them. Then it occurred to me, perhaps our lifespan made us appreciate the ones we loved more, meaning we didn't care as much for trivial things like sentimental objects.

_Knock knock knock _

The sound of someone wrapping on the door made me jump. I gulped uneasily, uncertain whether I was expected to answer the door myself, or if someone was meant to let the visitor in….It was one of many socially awkward moments I was sure I would encounter at the soiree…Even though both Kaname and Ruka had taught me a great deal on etiquette and how a pureblood princess should behave…it was the simple things such as this that had be fretting. _They'll think you're rude if you leave them waiting much longer._ Becoming more and more agitated, I was about to answer when a familiar and comforting voice cut through the silence, crystal clear despite the door separating us.

"May I come in, Yuki?" My heart somersaulted at the sound of Kaname's sensual tone of voice. His voice was a calm, almost seductive sound to which I wanted to cling, wanted to melt and disappear into. His calm voice represented everything I was not. As if he sensed I was to wound up to give him a reply, he entered regardless. A warm blush colored my already pink cheeks as his gaze travelled the length of my body. His expression was an almost flirtatious one, and the corners of his lips curved upward into a small smile. I couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind as he surveyed me.

"Kaname-sama" I spoke softly. Promptly, I remembered my manners, gently taking the satin material of my dress in my gloved hands and stooping low into a curtsey before the pureblood prince, my fiancé. I allowed myself only a small glimpse at him, for fear he would look so captivating that I would lose myself completely before even stepping foot into the soiree. When I did look up, my gaze met with a sudden change in his expression. A small frown adorned his face, one that made him look intimidating, though not unattractive.

"No." He announced to me, causing me to gulp. A lump caught in my throat. Had I somehow forgotten my etiquette? Had I made a fool of myself before being introduced to the vampire community? My hand instinctively groped for the pearls at my neck, for something to fiddle with to calm my nerves. My hand stopped halfway there, at my chest, restraining the urge remembering Ruka had told me not to do such a thing. _Even a gesture like that will attract attention…then they'll know if what they're saying is making you nervous, a pureblood princess cannot allow herself to have any give-aways. You must remain aloof, even if you are feeling nervous. _I curled my hand into a fist, and allowed it to drop beside me. How would I possibly learn to control my subconscious movements?

"You promised to call me just 'Kaname' tonight, remember?" He finished. I blinked a few times, surprised that this was the only error I seemed to have made. _So far so good Yuki. _I smiled just a little, nodding, just enough to show him I remembered. He extended a hand before saying, "Let's go in…Yuki. Come with me." My gaze dropped to the floor, and my limbs trembled with fear. How could I possibly do this? It was as if I were playing a role….How could I behave like a pureblood should when I really had no experience….I lifted my head back up, looking him in the eye, hoping my sincere emotions would show through. I was sure I could feel tears threatening to sting my eyes. Ruka would be furious if I allowed myself to cry, causing my make up to run after she'd spent so long preening me….I clenched my teeth in an attempt to halt the assault of tears that seemed imminent as my heart rate quickened. Even if I could somehow mask the panic etched on my face, the deafening beating of my uneasy heart would surely give me away to a room full of vampires. Kaname's expression was warm, and he smiled at me in that familiar way that made me want to melt. Without a word that man managed to dispel most of my fear, as if he himself had somehow made me take the few steps toward him. I reached out, and allowed him to take my quivering hand in his steady palm.

A wave of reassurance seemed to wash over my entire form as his fingers enveloped my petite hand. I took a deep breath and allowed him to lead me away from the security of the room, out into the corridor. I shivered slightly, the temperature seemed much cooler here, and I had to restrain myself from instinctively rubbing my arms in an attempt to create warmth. I peeked at him as he escorted me down the corridor towards the entrance of he ballroom. I could already hear music playing, and the assortment of many male and female voices all gathered together in one room.

I hadn't noticed before, but Kaname looked ravishing. He looked like the perfect gentleman in his elegant suit. I suddenly realised how lucky I truly was to be attending the soiree with him…..how lucky I was to be with him at all. For the first time I was realising what a dream come true this really was. A few months ago I had accidentally stumbled across a vampire soiree after being tricked into going there by a little vampire child….Back then I had glimpsed into Kaname's world for the first time, and on that same night I had realised how unsuitable I really was for him. Despite what he had said to me, since that night, I hadn't felt adequate. I hadn't felt like I belonged with him, or that I deserved him….now things were so different. Instead of peering into an alien world, I was entering that world….the world I had truly belonged to all along without knowing it. _That's right….I belong…._After so many years of suffering in ignorance, not knowing where I belonged…I was finally being shown where I belonged…This gave me courage. Not confidence, but courage, and that was good enough for tonight at least, confidence would come with time and experience. I would surely find a way to fit in…..This was where I belonged.

As we stopped before the grand doors, I took one last deep breath before entering the lion's den. I knew I had to assert my authority as one of them, and not as some little human girl that had been flung in there as a snack. I wasn't that little human girl anymore. I was one of the lions that devoured innocent beings….

The doors were flung open, and Kaname guided me in. The ballroom was vast, and I was aware of all eyes fixing on us as we stepped into the room. My heels seemed to make a deafening sounds as I walked across the marble floor. Still, I kept my cool, even when Kaname leaned in closer to me, his lips against my ear.

"Stay calm Yuki, good girl." He whispered so low, I had to strain my advanced hearing to catch what he said. I felt my apprehension begin to wane as the seconds passed. Silence. Even the music coming from the orchestral instruments had ceased at our presence. I wondered….if my presence was as menacing to them as that of Kaname's. I doubted it, but I didn't let it show. My softly painted lips turned up in to a regal smile. Not too friendly, but not cold either. This was how a purebood was expected to behave. Detached.

We glided forward, yet as we did some strange feeling within me urged me to turn my head. The instinct felt so pure I trusted it, slowly turning my head to the left, not enough to make the movement seem planned or abrupt. No, in a fluid way that made it seem like coincidence. Fate has a funny way of greeting you with something unexpected….yet completely anticipated at the same time, a conflicting emotion that makes little sense, even to the one who is experiencing it.

Of course, as I turned, my cool eyes met with those oh so familiar cold steely lilac ones. And it was as if a year hadn't passed between us, as if we had seen one another everyday since we'd parted….or perhaps we had, at night when we slept, we always seemed to meet in the realm of dreams where meetings are not forbidden…not even for star-crossed lovers. However, at the same time it was the biggest shock I could possibly receive to see him standing before me like some shadow from the past, a distant past…a lifetime ago.

As cliché as it may sound, it was like we were the only two people in the room, as if time had halted completely, and there was only us. It was romantic…but it wasn't. Two souls that long for one another finally being drawn together in the same room…..their pure feelings for one another imprisoned under two blank masks….two people who are now enemies. Although it didn't show on the outside my heart was throbbing painfully. What had I expected? A smile? A greeting? No. Perhaps a flicker of anger, of pain….or recognition. It's that nostalgic feeling of seeing someone you once shared a close bond with through the curtain time has built, one that makes those two people strangers to one another, unable to even dignify one another with even the simplest of gestures. His gaze was blank and empty, even when I seemed to be staring through his eyes into his soul I saw nothing. It hurt. Though I didn't show it. He'd kissed me a year ago, and mutually we'd gazed into one another's eyes….I'd peeked into his soul, and found all I'd ever wanted from him in those lilac eyes. Everything I wanted to know about him had poured from his soul as if he had spoken or cried, when he hadn't uttered a word. His pain, his anger, his sadness, his love. It had all become clear in those moments we'd shared. How had all of that been lost in a year? Or was it….was it his feelings were still there….what had changed was….I was no longer allowed to see them. Never again would those lilac eyes reveal to me the secrets of his soul.

And though the moment felt like hours…it was second. Under a minute. I turned away with all the arrogance a pureblood should possess, pretending to myself, to the room…to him, that I felt nothing for the silver haired boy leaning against one of the pillars. He was nothing to me. Now I remembered what Kaname had said to me.

"Yuki, Kiryu will be at the soiree too." He had informed me casually while doing my nails, pausing a moment to switch to my other foot. It had certainly caught my attention, and the thought had made me reluctant to attend…. "Worried? He may point his gun at us…" He had continued, purposely separating the two phrases instead of combining them into one question….implying he would indeed threaten us. Although on the inside I had been yearning for such a thing….I had replied simply.

"No…the Zero I know…will focus on his work…when he is on the job." I had replied apprehensively, knowing full well the Zero I knew was probably long gone….I had wondered how he had changed in the year of my absence. Kaname had replied with a short laugh, realising why I had paused when I did.

Now we were actually here….I realised I had been right. The Zero I knew was going to focus on his work….So if I was right….why did I feel so heart-broken? Why did I long for him to cut through the crowd and aim his blood-rose gun at my head…for him to whisper _goodbye_, as he pulled the trigger.

And with that, I walked away with Kaname at my side, fooling everyone into believing I had no connection with the young hunter, or for those who knew our history….that I had moved on.


	10. 10 The soiree

**AN-Sorry for the delay in updating this, I've been working quite diligently on my other Zeki stories, **_**'Until I see you again'**_** and **_**'Outlaw'**_**. I haven't forgotten about this though =). It's probably my favourite out of the three haha. I also apologise because I know I promised this chapter with stray away from the manga, but I forgot how much took place in the soiree, so forgive me, there will be more Zeki in the next chapter, I promise! Enjoy! =).**

"How do you do….Kaname-sama…and his younger sister?" These were the first words spoken directly to me by one of the many aristocrats that filled the vast ballroom. I clung tightly to Kaname's arm, a little put off by the large gaggle of bodies encircling us. They seemed to swarm us, and I felt as if I were drowning in bodies. I desperately wanted to glance back at Zero….but what good would that do?

"Nice to meet you, you're the sister? Kaname-sama has only just told us of your existence…." Another man said in a soft tone….one that seemed to be disguising malice. I didn't feel safe at all, but Kaname had warned me about this….

"Please come to the centre….so that everyone may see your face." A woman spoke this time. The surge of voices varying on volume and tenor overwhelmed my senses, and inside I was panicking. Yet on the outside I was the picture of tranquillity. Still clutching Kaname's hand tightly, I glided to the centre as was requested of me, and felt what felt like hundreds of eyes surveying me. Judging me. I knew I wasn't an impressive sight as a pureblood….I wasn't an impressive looking vampire if I'm honest…but I didn't act as if I knew this fact. I remained reserved, aloof, but regal all the same.

"Please, dear sister, we have not had the honour or learning your name." A young man I recognised to be a well known singer spoke over the rest. With this statement, a chorus of similar comments flooded into my ears. Of course. I recalled Kaname telling me he hadn't given them my name…but if I wished to tell them what I was called then of course I could. I hesitated, even as they urged me to speak in a multitude of different ways….I wasn't sure if I was ready to part with even such simple information. If I gave them my name….it was like completely accepting that I was part of this society now…and there was no going back. I took a deep breath, ready to dive in and submit to the knowledge that this was now the society I was part of.

"I'm Yuki. Nice to meet you everyone." I finally conceded, smiling politely at the throng of aristocrats that surrounded us. I listened as the name _Yuki-sama _was murmured all around, like some kind of secret leaking out of the vicinity. My own name filled my ears, distorting it and making it sound ugly as it was whispered. I concealed the sudden surge of disgust that threatened to overwhelm me, instead using a kind smile to mask this emotion.

"Yes, her face does remind me of Juri-sama….but her kind eyes resemble Haruka-sama's…." One of the stunning aristocrat women stated, speaking as if I weren't even present. I knew that this was not necessarily meant as a compliment, however. Kaname had also warned me of this…I cast my mind back to the other night when he'd been grooming my nails for me.

"I'm sure many will start prattling trivial things about our parents…." He had said coldly, clearly irked by this fact. I'd watched in silence, patiently waiting for him to continue whenever he was ready. "They won't do this out of kindness or sympathy. They're either trying to ingratiate themselves, or they're merely having fun trying to stir up our emotions." He'd continued, staring up at me. As he'd spoke I'd seen something dark lurking in his eyes, an emotion I couldn't quite decipher. I only knew it was a negative one that expressed to me his contempt.

"Just keep nodding your head politely through their meaningless small talk. There's no need for you to tell them anything at all Yuki. I've already told them everything they need to know, about our parents…" He'd went on in a sombre tone, one that told me he was reflecting on past events when he'd been bombarded with inconsiderate, maybe even hurtful questions. I'd wanted to say something reassuring to heal the wounds inflicted my unkind words…but I really didn't know where to start.

"Haruka and Juri lived too long. They were at their limit emotionally. They might not have ended up like that if they had let the madness take over as their instincts dictated. Like Rido had…" His tone had become bitter, and I couldn't hold back the heavy feeling that had been growing within my chest any longer…and I'd allowed my emotions to flow in the form of tears…tears my beloved had wiped away, apologising profusely….

I blinked, fearful that remembering the conversation any longer would bring with it those heavy emotions that always threatened to engulf me. I took a deep breath, focussing solely on keeping a neutral front for the time being, allowing their 'meaningless prattle' to sweep around me, but not sink into me. I caught snippets of their sentences, but didn't allow my interest to linger too long on any one…._A pureblood like you is a treasure…we shall protect you…we shall pledge our allegiance to you…._I felt a little repulsed by this…if Kaname himself hadn't dashed such a thought earlier…I may well have fallen for their compassionate words…

**There is something you must know. I'm sure you've experienced it yourself…but to most vampires…they find us to be…much more attractive than a human child or even their beloved ones…they see us as prey. But if we wish it…we have the power to control them. That is why they never go too far. **

Kaname's daunting words rung through my head like a warning alarm. The aristocrats were very convincing, one of the reasons I didn't allow myself to linger to long on their conversations. I wouldn't allow myself to be drawn in by their lies. Even Kaname's reassurance that they wouldn't go too far wasn't as encouraging as it should've been. I felt like I was surrounded by a pack of wolves, and the only way to keep from being eaten was to stay above them, not to let myself be lured into their trap.

A familiar aroma. It hit me swiftly, like being shown an old photograph it was a nostalgic scent…At first I assumed it to be that of Zero….only then did I realise it was human. I glanced around, trying to catch a glimpse of what or who may have caused this nostalgia. I turned, looking up at Kaname for guidance.

"Are there humans…here in this room apart from the hunters?" I quizzed him, suddenly quite eager to discover what I had picked up on. He nodded matter-of-factly.

"Yes, very few though….what's wrong?" He asked in a concerned tone, picking up on my own change in attitude. I shook my head not wanting to worry him…still, the scent was becoming stronger, and letting Kaname's hand slip out of mine I excused myself, pushing urgently through the crowds. I had a hunch as to who had attracted my attention…but I didn't want to get my hopes up. Not forgetting to be polite I made my way through the horde of vampires, until finally a familiar pair of faces came into view. My heart skipped a beat.

"I knew it! Yori are you okay?" I exclaimed, inwardly delighted to see my best friend whom I had missed in the year of my absence. Her face lit up as I came into view. Still, despite my pleasure to see Yori, another emotion threatened to completely take over the rest. Zero stood beside her, though he paid no attention to me I couldn't ignore the apprehension that came with drawing closer to him.

"I'm fine. This woman helped me…" Yori shot a carefree smile at me before turning to face a beautiful blonde haired woman. I cast my eyes over the figure, pausing a moment before realising I had seen this woman before, at another soiree…the one I had accidentally ended up at…Her wavy blonde hair cascaded way past her shoulders, falling to about thigh level. Her icy blue eyes staring neutrally at Zero. I took me yet another moment to register what was taking place….His hand was clasped tightly around the pureblood woman's gloved wrist. A dull pain began to grow, causing my chest to tighten as I approached the pair. Gathering all of the courage I could muster, I prepared to reprimand Zero….the pureblood woman was our guest, and as the hostess it was my job to take care of her…even if it meant confronting an old friend…or enemy.

"Please let go of her hand. She's and important guest." I spoke softly, more softly than I'd intended, lifting a gloved hand to Zero's arm…and as my fingers rested gently upon his arm I felt a rush of emotion. Though I was calm on the outside, inside I was weeping…with joy, with fear, with a multitude of different emotions. This was the first time I'd spoken to Zero in a year….I was a little disappointed that it was in a negative way…but also a little glad I was given a reason to address him at all.

My heart skipped a beat as his cold gaze travelled from the blonde woman down to me. The icy look he had been directing at the woman instantly changed to an even frostier look of hatred in a matter of moments. It was a bittersweet feeling…I was amazed he'd acknowledged me at all, but it was painfully clear that his feelings towards me hadn't changed….he still despised me.

"Don't…touch me." He spat. The statement hit me as if he had physically delivered a blow to my stomach, or more accurately my heart. His tone was as acidic as I'd ever heard it, and a pain shot through my heart like a dagger. I couldn't help but recall the night we'd parted….his kiss….his tender and loving embrace…and now…the contrast was…was mind blowing. It was as if I was talking to a completely different man. I could feel my composure slipping, and tears threatened to sting my eyes. The emotion that had brought all this on was still raw; though I'd tried to kid myself into believing I was over him….I knew I was wrong. I did my best to conceal my crestfallen expression, but I knew he'd seen it flash across my face, adding insult to injury. _Please just shoot me now, it can't possibly hurt more than this…_Ignoring the silent plea, I looked away, taking a deep, strengthening breath.

"I'll let go of you…once you let go of her." I replied dispassionately, amazed I was able to keep the dejection from showing through in my voice. With this, he instantly withdrew his hand, not wavering for even a moment….what did I expect? For him to smile at me? For him to take me in his arms and tell me he still loved me…that he wanted to take me back with him. I was delusional if I believed such a thing. He looked disgusted, taking hold of Yori's hand and moving swiftly away from me.

"Come on Wakaba, you've seen her so you should be satisfied now." He demanded, even as he stalked away with her. My heart sank as I watched me two former best friends becoming smaller as they moved farther away from my view.

"Yuki, I'm glad to see you're alright!" Yori cried back at me as she was pulled deep into the crowd. I smiled sadly, knowing she couldn't even see my response as Zero dragged her back to the safety of the outskirts of the ballroom. I stood transfixed for a moment, not entirely sure how to cope with what had just taken place between Zero and I. I stared down at my hand that had touched his arm…even through the fabric of my glove and his coat…I felt that connection that hadn't dulled or faded even in our time apart. I gazed absently at the crowd, wondering if he had felt it too.

"My, what a delicious looking girl she is…" I was broken from my private thoughts by the cruel statement made by the pureblood woman I had aided. I turned my attention back to the pureblood guest, not caring how important she was…Yori was my best friend, and I couldn't contain the anger that began to bubble within me at the inconsiderate statement.

"Please don't talk about her like that, she's my friend." I scolded, not caring that I wasn't able to completely mask my contempt at the comment she had made. She looked a tad surprised before smiling warmly at me. I wondered if I'd insulted her. Still, I didn't regret reprimanding her, even if Zero had been out of line, she'd been out of line as well, and I wouldn't allow anyone to hurt Yori.

"I see, forgive me." She apologised in a soft tenor that didn't reflect any anger if she was feeling any. She turned slowly to address the nearby crowd, and of course they stopped to listen to the pureblood princess.

"Did you hear that, you all? She is a dear friend, so leave her alone." The blonde pureblood announced casually, before turning back to smile at me. I felt a little offended, as if she'd been mocking me by addressing the rest of the attendees of the soiree. The woman moved closer, making me feel a little uncomfortable as she placed a hand on my arm. I resisted the urge to shudder. What was it about this woman that unsettled me?

"Nice to meet you, Yuki isn't it? I'm Sara Shirabuki…I hope we can become good friends. There are very few purebloods like us remaining." She whispered, leaning in close so that our faces were inches apart. I stood my ground, trying not to let my uneasiness show. She moved away, but a strange odour filled my nostrils. An unpleasant one that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"Excuse me now. I should go say hello to Kaname too." She told me, giving me a quick smile before heading in Kaname's direction…she'd been the woman I'd spotted with Kaname at that soiree a year ago. It was strange to think that I was the same being as such a mesmerising woman….still, that horrible aroma that clung to her….it reminded me of….my eyes widened in horror. The smell….it was blood. Regaining my composure I quickly reminded myself it was a _vampire_ soiree…why should I be shocked by the smell of blood? Still…something about it seemed a little odd.

I watched silently as her wavy hair disappeared, and she was consumed by the crowd. I was reminded that she was another pureblood, just like Kaname and I….and another enemy to Zero. I couldn't help feeling melancholy at this realisation. Zero wanted to kill us all….I suddenly brightened, seeing familiar man appear, his frosty blue eyes fixated on me as he forced his way through the gaggle.

"I've received orders from Kaname-sama. You may see your friend for one hour. Wait in the common room" Aido ordered. I smiled gratefully at the young aristocrat as he made his way past me, and continued to walk. I headed in the opposite direction, desperate to reach the common room quickly so I could speak with Yori. I pushed my way through the swarm of bodies, ignoring any comments directed at me about my parents, or simply acknowledging them with a small nod or smile.

Creeping out of the hall, I hastily made my way to the common room. I checked that no one was present, and ran down the marble floored halls, listening to the deafening clatter created by my heels colliding with the hard smooth floors. I slowed my pace as I neared the large double doors. I gingerly turned the handle. I could sense Yori wasn't present in the room just yet, but eagerly awaited her arrival. I entered the room slowly, carefully shutting the large door behind me. I leant against it, resting my head against the cool wood. I closed my eyes, allowing my senses to settle. My head was pounding from the noise that had engulfed the ballroom, the sound of instruments playing and people conversing with one another.

"It's been a year…she placed herself in danger to come visit me…I should've been the one to go visit her…" I mumbled to myself, mentally scolding myself for letting Yori do such a thing because of my idleness. Guilt gnawed away at my conscience. I would apologise to her as soon as she entered the room….Zero's furious expression flashed through my mind. I bit my lip, holding back the tears that had suddenly surfaced. I'd been able to regain control of myself when amongst the crowd….but now I was alone my soul ached, my sadness threatening to destroy whatever composure I had left. I averted my gaze to my hand…the hand that had touched Zero's arm. I clasped this hand with my other, as if it were some kind of sacred thing….I bowed my head as I felt a warm tear slip down my cheek, falling from my chin on to my clasped hands. I silently prayed Yori would take just a few moments more to get here….just a few more moments to mourn mine and Zero's lost relationship.


	11. 11 Friends reunited

**AN- As I promised things have diverted slightly away from the manga at the end of this chapter…I mean the majority of the chapter is still very closely based on the dialogue from the manga, but as I said, the end does lead off…I'm a little nervous about submitting chapter number twelve since it's of my 'own creation'…and now that the manga is out it's completely different to what I originally had in mind…so I apologize in advance if it seems odd, but I've sort of worked more recent chapters in with the original ideas I had…anyway…enjoy! **

**Mild gore is present at the end of the chapter, just a warning!**

I swivelled around to face the door the second I heard the metallic click of the handle being pushed down. Aido and Yori stood at the entrance, and while I was thrilled to see my best friend…I felt a pang of rejection noting that Zero wasn't present. Still, pushing the thought to the back of my mind, I bounded toward Yori, not caring if I slipped over in my high-heels. The only people that would see me make a fool of myself were friends of mine anyway. She giggled as I flung my arms around her, and I beamed back at her in response. It was a tender and precious moment that I never wanted to end. My heart swelled with happiness as I embraced my best friend for the first time in a year, I was so emotional I could've cried, though I didn't. Aido observed us with a small amused smile upon his face, taking in our display of feminine affection. We stared at one another, almost too awe-struck at one another's presence to even say a word. I opened my mouth, ready to ask how she was when Kain appeared at the door beside Aido, his expression rather grim. A sudden unpleasant feeling began to grow within me at his appearance.

"Hanabusa, there's something I need to tell you…" Kain's tone was neutral; however, the look on his face told me that whatever he had to say was not good news...I frowned. I was part of this world now…I was a pureblood, therefore if there was something suspicious going on; I had the right to know as one of the hosts of the soiree.

"What happened?" I questioned in a tone as authoritative as I could muster. I was still holding Yori tightly and longed to protect her from whatever it was that caused Kain to looks so uneasy. He seemed a little taken aback that I had addressed him. He probably wasn't used to treating me as a vampire…as one of his kind, let alone treating me as a pureblood. He shuffled uneasily, clearly debating inwardly whether or not it would be wise to inform me, only causing me to worry more. I couldn't help but wonder if Kaname had instructed him to keep whatever was taking place a secret from me. I frowned. That would be so like Kaname, trying to protect me from some anonymous threat as if I was still a meddlesome child.

"…One of the purebloods, Ouri-sama…has disappeared from his room." Aido declared. I felt a knot form in my stomach as he moved towards the door, following Kain who had disappeared from view…He paused, his eyes widening and his body tensing. I opened my mouth to say something only then it hit me as well…both Aido and I stood stock still, suddenly alarmed by the aroma that had made it's way into our nostrils…

"Yuki?" Yori questioned, clinging a little more tightly to my dress than she had a few moments before. Even as a human she could surely have sensed the change in atmosphere, or at least sense the change in Aido and I. She looked in confusion from me to Aido, and then back at me, her expression expressed her unease at our sudden change in attitude.

"I smell blood…" I finally managed to say, though it came out in little more than a fearful squeak. _Its fresh blood_…my senses informed me, sending a chill down my spine. Who would be reckless enough to spill blood at a soiree? Especially at a soiree hosted by the feared pureblood, Kaname Kuran. I felt Yori's body tense beneath my gloved fingers and turned to stare at her.

"You can smell…blood?" she quizzed me. Her joyful smile had been replaced by a look of worry; surprisingly her face didn't express any fear…just concern. She stared at me for a moment, as if trying to see into my worlds through my eyes…searching for some way she could help me…After a few moments her expression changed, and she averted her eyes from me, staring at the ground, a downhearted expression adorned her face.

"Sorry…I can't smell it." She admitted, apologizing as if she was inadequate. I shook my head dismissing this. I felt a twinge of guilt. My dear friend Yori, I didn't want her to feel bad for being human…why should she feel ashamed of who and what she was? I sighed, remembering how dejected I'd felt that night a year ago when I'd stumbled upon a soiree…to feel like an outsider to someone you cared about….it had stung my heart realising that I wasn't part of Kaname's world….and now I realised that must be how Yori felt.

"No!..I'm sorry I made you nervous." I told her in a soothing tone, staring straight into her amber eyes. I didn't have time to explain to her that she needn't feel like an outsider to me, because I would always be her friend, and she'd always mean a lot to me…so instead I tried to convey my feelings through my gaze. Yori and I had a connection as best friends, and I prayed that she understood how dear she was to me. She gave me a sad, understanding smile, and I nodded, believing she had understood what I had tried to convey to her. I turned away, a determined look gracing my face as I addressed Aido.

"Aido. I'm going down to take a look. The hunters are overseeing security at this party, so this shouldn't be happening! I'd like you to stay with Yori for me!" I demanded. It was a little strange trying to take charge…but I was realising more and more that as a pureblood vampire this was my role, and I had to embrace it. I strode purposefully towards the door, ready to do as I had said, only then I felt my foot catch on something. I stared in irritation, realising what was holding me back was spreading over my lower body and arms as well. I shivered. Ice. I turned to glare at Aido as shards of ice rose from the floor, ensnaring me in its grip.

"I have orders to not let you out of my sight, no matter what." Aido said coolly. A heard Yori cry out, clearly shocked by the power Aido had against me. I glared at him as if this would change his attitude…if Kaname-sama had given him orders…he would follow them as always. I remembered the time Kaname had hit him for slapping me. I sighed. Of course, Aido had a duty to Kaname…and if he disobeyed Aido would be punished. It would be selfish of me to get him in trouble…again.

"Kaname…" I muttered grudgingly under my breath, a little irked that he still didn't trust me…I knew this in itself wasn't true, he wanted to protect me that was all…but I was tired of being treated like a child, I was his fiancée, his love, and supposed to be his equal…but it didn't feel like it. "Then come with me and bring Yori along. The scent is coming from…somewhere nearby." I declared, hoping I could finally assert some authority. Aido exhaled, allowing his ice to shatter and melt around me. I smiled gratefully at him, but my smile was quickly replaced with a determined frown, and I followed my senses towards the source of the smell.

I'd been correct. After running a couple of metres down the hall I came to a room, and my senses were overwhelmed by the aroma of fresh blood. The atmosphere was thick and ominous, and noting that I was ahead of both Yori and Aido allowed myself a peek into the room. Aido stopped, holding an arm out instructing Yori to halt.

"Wakaba. Don't come any closer." He commanded. They stood a foot or so away from me, watching my reaction as I moved closer towards the doorway of the menacing room. Could this have been Ouri-sama's room? I wondered to myself…I wasn't sure but turned to face Aido and Yori reassuringly before stepping inside.

"Don't worry. Please wait right there." I instructed them both with a warm reassuring smile. A smile that betrayed the frenzied pounding of my heart. I stepped into the room, and was met with an assortment of different shocks to my senses. The thick, almost sickening fragrance of blood hit my nose, almost making me want to retch. Of course, the ominous feeling I had sensed while standing outside the door swamped engulfed me, making my grow heavy and an anxious feeling knot my stomach. That was not all though. I was greeted with an array of sights that alone would've caused my heart to still, let alone all at once. Zero stood before me, his back turned and head bowed as he looked down at the scene. The mere sight of his tall slim form made my heart pound in my ears and my palms become clammy…my forbidden love. Next my eyes travelled down, and I finally noticed the headmaster's form crouched over something. He wasn't aware of my presence yet but I didn't mind. I hadn't seen him in a year, and it felt a little nostalgic seeing the man who had been my father for ten years crouching before me…The third sight was truly the most horrific and shocking of all. A body lay in a pool of blood, the source of the smell….the crimson liquid had soaked into the cream carpet, spreading further to create and even larger pool.

"Ah, Yuki" The headmaster had finally noticed me, and was beaming up at me, a twinkle in his eyes despite the tragic scene over which he was crouched. For a moment I almost thought he would cry with joy at seeing me. It was true, I had missed the man I had begrudgingly called father…he'd been good to me and cared for me in place of Haruka and Juri for ten years…"Oh, your dress will get ruined. Stay there." He instructed, his attention recaptured by the gruesome body below him. I glanced down, realising the blood was mere millimetres away from my satin slippers. I didn't particularly care if I got messy, but knew it would be a blunder to return to the soiree drenched in blood…well if the soiree was still going on that was.

"What…happened here?" I question, unable to keep the shock from my voice. The headmaster's expression became solemn, an expression that better suited the situation. He stared down at the body. I hoped he wouldn't avoid the subject in some attempt to shield me from whatever had taken place here. Had Kaname had a chance to witness this? Surely he knew something dreadful had taken place…

"It's a shame…one of the hunters was forced into a situation where she had to commit suicide by her own blade…" The headmaster finally explained to me. I felt sick. Why was it that such an occurrence…reminded me of Zero? I shook my head, taking a closer look at the body of the young huntress. The heavy feeling in my chest kept growing, the atmosphere was unpleasant. "Look. Her fingertips are starting to turn to dust…and…" The headmaster paused. It seemed he couldn't bring himself to go on. I stared at the corpse more closely, my eyes running over her fingers. He was right. I watched as the tips of her fingers began to blacken…they were still clasped tightly around the blade that was lodged in her chest….Though it had little to do with the situation…I was a little sad upon realising this was the first female hunter I had ever laid eyes upon…or heard of. Other than Zero's mother that is. How sad….it seemed that female hunters were a lot rarer than males…and tonight one had taken her life…I couldn't help but wonder what had lead to such a tragic occurrence…all of the hunters I knew were committed people who would focus solely on their objectives…what could've pushed the poor huntress so far?

"Look at her neck. She was bitten by a vampire." Zero suddenly spoke. His tone was cold and accusing. My eyes darted back to the corpse, paying close attention to her neck. I grimaced noting the blood trickling from her mouth….and then spotting the marks Zero had mentioned felt a little light headed, queasy almost…Unable to stare at the body any longer I averted my eyes to Zero. His expression was fierce. Even though he was staring at the body of his colleague…I could tell the glare was meant for me, and the rest of the vampires attending the soiree. He looked so alone standing there….despite everything part of me was urging me to run forward and fling my arms around him…I wanted to ease the pain and anguish that was still so apparent in his steely eyes….no…that would be completely inappropriate. We were at the scene of the crime. I decided if I was to prove to him that I was still his ally…I would act.

"I'll…find the person responsible for this." I declared. My voice was confident but determined. I clutched the skirt of my dress tightly, as if the action gave me strength. I could almost see the sneer on his face though Zero had now turned away from me completely so I couldn't clearly see his expression…He didn't trust in me or believe in me…then again why should he? I had essentially betrayed him by becoming a pureblood…I shook my head. Now was not the time to dwell on my own problems.

"You stay out of this. This isn't some kind of game." He spat bitterly, almost mockingly. My pain and anxiety turned to anger. Even if he loathed me now, couldn't he see I wasn't the same childish and useless girl I had once been? I frowned, staring at the ground, unable to stare at him any longer for fear of doing something uncouth.

"I'm aware of that. I'm no longer the Yuki of old who couldn't do anything…and never knew anything. If something is going on…then I want to do something about it and protect those who are…important to me." I reminded him, my tone ebbing with anger and frustration. I paused before finishing the sentence…I wanted him to know he was one of the people I cherished…didn't he already know that? I looked up; glaring at his back, not caring that the blood had now seeped into my shoes…I could feel it in between my toes, staining the satin of my shoe.

"Yuki. Get out of this room before the scent of blood gets on you." Kaname's voice echoed behind me. I turned to face him, frustrated that everyone was treating me like some kind of child…I was aware I was new to this world…and I wasn't fully aware of my powers as a pureblood yet, but I hated feeling like such a nuisance! Couldn't they tell I was doing my best, trying to grow up and learn quickly?

"But the soiree-" I began, swirling around to face Kaname, only I was cut of by Zero interrupting me.

"That _farce_, obviously ends right now Kuran." Zero declared the hatred and bitterness apparent in his tone. The two turned to face one another, glaring hatefully at each other…it was true they'd never seen eye to eye….but now…it seemed to have gotten worse. I wondered if it had something to do with the events that had taken place a year ago…

"Yuki. I had Aido escort Yori back to the Academy…he will return for you shortly, until then I want you to return to the common room….Kiryu will escort you." Kaname commanded, averting his eyes to look at Zero, drilling him with a fierce expression that ordered him not to harm me. I wondered why Kaname had asked Zero…when he didn't trust him….the it occurred to me that with Aido gone, and the other aristocrats attending to the soiree guests…Zero was the only available choice right now.

"What makes you think I'll play babysitter for you Kuran?" Zero sneered, completely ignoring my presence. I felt a sharp pain in my chest, another stab of rejection. Did everyone really see me as some child who couldn't take care of herself? Was I really…such hard work? Kaname glowered at him. Something in Zero's eyes changed, from irritation to sheer fury…as if some unknown secret vow had passed between the two of them.

_You will not betray her_

I saw Kaname mouth those words slowly, and looking from Kaname to Zero in puzzlement I realised that there must be some strange connection between the two….what did that mean? Zero begrudgingly pushed past me, making his way to the door and sauntering down the hall. I followed behind him nervously, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. Kaname held a hand out to stop me, turning to face me before I left the room.

"This isn't something you need to be involved in Yuki…this is my job." Kaname declared simply, before moving his arm and allowing me access to the hallway. I gave him a hurt expression, but his attitude didn't change. I glanced at Zero who was already halfway down the hall by this time. I decided to drop the subject for now, I'd grill him later…


	12. 12 Alone with my enemy

**AN-Ah, I'm sorry this chapter is so incredibly short…I was tempted to connect it with the previous one, or with the following one, but I'm enjoying the suspense that comes with me splitting these chapters into three rather than two or one –shot-. **

**Anyway, what will happen now that Yuki and Zero are left…alone together? Will he aim his gun at her? **

I left the room, sprinting down the hall to catch up with Zero, anxious at the prospect at being alone in the common room with him. He stopped at the double doors, turning the handle to one and holding the door open for me. I smiled gratefully at him, though his expression remained neutral, not allowing me any kind of glimpse into Zero's heart like before. I made my way slowly into the room and sighed in disappointment. This night had not gone the way I had hoped. I'd barely said a word to Yori, though I was really just pleased to see she was doing well…still. It would've been nice to share a conversation with her…I had so much to tell her after a year of being apart.

"I'll wait outside the door until Aido returns. You'll be okay in here on your own." Zero said callously, turning to leave once more. His unfeeling tone was like another stab to my heart…the hatred that had been growing within him for a year now was unyielding, even now we were alone…I'd naively hoped that in the privacy of the common room Zero would flash me a smile…or tell me that his cold exterior was only masking the feelings he still held for me…how foolish of me to believe such a thing could happen. Though it was against my better nature I did something impulsive…I grabbed his arm, holding him back.

"No, please wait!" I begged, my cheeks flushing a pink color as he turned to glare at me. He looked disgusted to have my hand clutching his arm, and my heart ached at the look he was giving me. I tugged at his sleeve, coaxing him back into the room. He paused, giving me his characteristic glare, before doing as I asked and shutting the door behind him. He stayed close to the door, clearly ready to leave at any moment. I was thankful he'd obeyed me at all.

"…What? You're wasting my time." He spat viciously at me. I gulped, taken aback by his bluntness. I shifted uneasily under his intense gaze, thinking fast…what could I say to him to melt the ice that had formed in his heart? I could see he was becoming impatient, but there were so many things I wanted to tell him! I'd been having nightmares ever since we'd parted….but dreams as well…dreams of this night when I'd finally be granted a moment alone with him…then again, what had changed over the past year to make him think better of me?

"I…I've really….I-I've missed you…" I said dumbly, frustrated that these were the only words I could form right now. The look of revulsion that came to his face deterred me from carrying on. I could feel tears threatening to sting my eyes, but I clenched my fists, holding them back. I opened my mouth continue but no sound came out. His expression was cold….

"Why? Aren't you happy living with Kaname Kuran? You don't need me remember; besides…we're enemies now. It's the way it should've been from the beginning." He announced his voice devoid of all passion or emotion. I clasped my hands together in front of me. The tears I had tried so hard to hold back were escaping, and I gritted my teeth as the first one fell, slipping silently down my cheek. Why did it have to be this way? I didn't want to be enemies! No matter what, I'd never wanted that.

"I don't want us to be enemies…I know I'm a pureblood…and you're a hunter but…we were friends…in fact we were so much more than that!" I blurted out, a little embarrassed that I had mentioned the last part. He glowered at me as if I was speaking nonsense. I took a deep breath, shutting my eyes and calming myself. I wanted to tell him how I felt…how my feelings had developed in the year of his absence…that I finally realised what he was to me…

"This is the way it's meant to be, just because you wish things were different, doesn't make it so. We were born enemies, and that is how we should remain." He proclaimed. I trembled; it seemed that nothing I was saying was getting through to him…none of it made any difference. He turned his back, ready to leave when I decided what I would say.

"I know! We were _born_ that way but…fate….fate changed things so that we met…so that we became allies and supported one another…now…I know things are different now that I've awoken but…isn't there any chance this happened for a reason? Isn't it at all possible that…the reason we were once on the same side…was so that we could change the way things work…so that we could work together and learn to coexist…" My voice was trembling with emotion. I couldn't bear to lose him again. I'd worked my way into his heart once, now I prayed that I could do it again. He paused, his hand hovering over the door handle. My heart skipped a beat as he allowed his hand to drop and turned to face me. His expression remained much the same, and I didn't know if what I had said had caused a positive or negative effect on him….but I didn't care which it was. I had somehow convinced him to stay and listen longer…I took a deep breath. I had to confess my feelings…It was time.


	13. 13 Confessing the truth

**AN-Ah, I really could've combined this with the next chapter…but I'm cruel and enjoy leaving people in suspense XD. Besides, I will literally post the following chapters moments after this one, so don't despair! I probably could've had this chapter finished by last night, but I was really looking forward to writing it and wanted to relish it XD. So, here we are. Will Yuki really be able to confess her feelings for Zero? Or will Zero remain blissfully ignorant? **

Zero had once said to me, in a tone filled with emotion and pain 'what am I to you?' Back then…I hadn't known how to answer that question. The look he had given me had opened my eyes to how vulnerable Zero really was…and it was the first time I had seen a needy side to Zero that rarely emerged from his hard exterior. The question had thrown me…but it had also warmed my heart to realise he trusted me enough to let his guard down in front of me. Now, here we stood again, only now his eyes were steely and cold, looking at them made me feel like I was wandering that snowy mountain alone…my first human memory. Things were different now. I knew how to answer that question. _What am I to you? _The question still sent shivers down my spine even now…after a year of contemplating those words…I finally felt I could answer him with a decent amount of truth and conviction.

"You really believe this all happened for a reason? You're delusional…" He scowled at me. Another stab to my heart….but…he couldn't really mean what he said…or else he wouldn't have hesitated…he would've left and not turned back. With this in mind I took a deep breath…I knew I didn't have a lot of time, I doubted Aido would be too long…but my nerves were getting the better of me, causing me to stumble hastily over my words. That wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to tell him calmly and sincerely how I felt about him…The words were like chains around my soul, and as long as they remained unspoken they would continue to torment me and weigh me down. How could I move on in life if he didn't know my feelings?

"If you're just going to stand there I'm leaving. I have better things to do…" He said frostily. My hands were curled into fists, not out of anger, but trying to hold my tears back…I winced as my nails dug into my flesh. He was turning to leave again, he was halfway out the door…no! I couldn't let him go now! I had to confess! Why was this so hard? Had he always seemed so intimidating? I raised my hands to my aching head. How do you tell someone so close to you, 'I love you'…no, how do you tell someone so faraway…what was Zero to me? Once one of my closest friends…now my enemy...which should I treat him as? My head was spinning, my stomach jittering within me…I thought I might vomit, or faint…

"What am I to you?" I cried out, my voice trembling with fear and emotion. My hands hovered at my chest uneasily. He'd frozen. Halfway out the door, one hand rested on the other remaining unopened door. His back was turned, so I couldn't even see his reaction…I watched his grip on the door tighten as he became animated again. My breathing was shallow and I didn't know if I could bring myself to say anymore…My voice felt hoarse even though I hadn't spoken very loud…Gulping, I took an apprehensive step towards him…I wished he'd close the door…what I had to say really wasn't for anyone else's ears…

"You asked me that…once, a year ago…" I mentally scolded myself. I couldn't keep the sheer emotion from my voice. I didn't want him to think I was being insincere…my voice wobbled unsteadily as if I didn't really know what I was saying. The truth was I didn't know _exactly_ what I was saying…or how I was going to say it…but now I had broached the forbidden subject I had to go on. Zero remained very still, and I wished I could know what was going through his mind right now…was he remembering that day?

"Yes….When you were still _human_." He finally replied. The sound of his voice startled me a little as it cut through the silence more sharply than any blade could have. I flinched as he put emphasis on the word 'human'. I bowed my head. _I see…so he could only have feelings for the human Yuki…_His words were incredibly discouraging, and I was tempted to simply dismiss him. It was absurd…but at that moment I felt a pang of jealousy towards the _human_ Yuki. The one who had worked so tenderly to win Zero's heart…no that hadn't been her intention. I clasped my hands close to my chest. Her intentions had been pure…she'd wanted to help the lonely and vulnerable Zero…no. Even that wasn't true. Even the human Yuki had been spiteful and selfish, only caring for him to ease her own pain. So then why did Zero's tone imply that he had lost someone dear to him?

"…Ever since we parted….I've been contemplating those words, for a year I've been weighed down by those words…no, that sounds wrong…for a year…I've been living for those words." I told him, finally discovering the courage within me to keep speaking. I looked up at him. Still, he didn't move a muscle. That was fine. If it meant he would stay put and listen, if only for a little while, I could bear it. Even if he had nothing pleasant to say to me…I reconsidered my words for the hundredth time. I silently prayed for Aido to take his time. I needed to make my feelings known now, or else I'd never be able to find the strength to do it again….besides, who knew when I'd come face to face with Zero again? I'd been handed a valuable opportunity, I'd been a fool not to take advantage of it…

"…and when you asked me that time…I didn't know how to answer you, I was caught off guard…a-and I was too naïve to really understand what you were asking of me….but now…" My voice kept breaking from the sheer intensity of my voice…I wasn't speaking loudly, but trying to maintain my tone was becoming more and more strenuous under the pressure. I could feel my conviction quaking. I saw his fingers twitch on the door….he turned slowly, only halfway towards me, and gazed intensely at me. I was frightened. This wasn't like an ordinary confession of love between a boy and a girl…it was so much more complicated. Forbidden love between two races…as romantic as it sounded it wasn't as glamorous as movies and books made it out to be. It was painful for both sides, and I saw a flicker of pain run through Zero's expression. It lasted only a moment, but I saw it clearly, and he must've known I'd seen it because he glowered even more fiercely at me than he had before.

"I'm sorry it took me so long…in the year that we haven't seen one another I've had time to realise…my…my feelings for you…have become indisputably clear…" I kept on, irked by my own babbling. Why was a dawdling? I didn't have as much time as I wanted to, I couldn't afford to mince my words too much…so why was I babbling so incoherently. Still, Zero seemed to understand exactly what I was saying, because he'd turned to face me completely, his gaze meeting mine directly…as it always had. I gulped, feeling a blush burning my cheeks, giving away what I had to tell him before the words had even escaped my lips…

_Well?_

He didn't speak those words…but he mouthed them, sending a shiver down my spine…His intense gaze drilled into me, though somehow it seemed softer than before…or perhaps I was just braver now than I had been a few moments before. I met his gaze with all the sincerity I could muster.

_I love you…I have feelings for you…I yearn for you…I care for you…_

There were more phrases that swam through my mind as we stared at one another, none of which I could seem to form. I looked almost pleadingly at him, opening my mouth, ready to put my life in his hands. I breathed deeply, suddenly allowing those fatal words to slip from my mouth-

"I love you."


	14. 14 The Consequences

**AN-Hmm…this chapter is rather a complicated one for me. I thought it would be the easiest to write so far…but it was difficult…Zero's reaction was INCREDIBLY difficult…you'll see what I mean…but I want to apologize in advance if it seems a bit much…I think I'll have either nailed it or completely missed the mark. Really there were actually SO many ways I could've made Zero react…so I hope this doesn't disappoint anyone…I'm actually really nervous about posting this… I think this chapter exposes all my flaws and strengths as a writer…very complicated…so how WILL Zero react? Will he warm to Yuki or reject her?...**

My heart fluttered violently in my chest as if it were a bird being freed from a cage. My palms felt clammy and my head felt light. Typical symptoms of someone in love. Those words seemed to cut through Zero like a knife, because suddenly his blank, unreadable expression twisted into a mask of pain. As always this display of emotion lasted mere seconds if that long before returning to his 'default' expression…only it didn't return to his normal expression. He was clearly shocked, too shocked to even reply. He leaned back against the door, purposely allowing it to shut. Still, other than that he didn't move at all, he stood awestruck, his eyes wide and his body somewhat tense.

"I-I'm sorry I never realised it sooner…but for months now I-I can't stop thinking about you…your image fills my head…and even when I sleep you're constantly part of my dreams…" I explained as if this would make whatever pain he was feeling subside. No, I was digging the blade deeper into the wound…the wound that had been made a year ago on my departure…and had now been reopened by those cruel words, _I love you_. Even now I could only hurt him, and the temptation to flee from the scene was immense. Still, I held firm, I'd started something now, and I had to see it through.

"…I know we're meant to be enemies but…I know if we took a risk…we could change it all, we could start something…beautiful." I stuttered, perhaps trying to reassure myself more than him…The look of shock had dissipated from his face, and the look of sorrow had returned to take its place. He had his back against the door, and now hung his head, unable to even face me. My fingers twitched at my chest, it stung my heart to see him so filled with anguish…but it told me that he still felt something, or else why would it hurt so much?

"Please, look at me I….I know this is hurting you, it's hurting me but…" I stuttered, the desperation clung to my voice as I was clinging to him. He shook his head, his hands curled into fists.

"Yuki, no. We can never be together." He said hoarsely. My hands fell to my sides. Deep down I'd known he'd say something like that…he would remain faithful to his position as a vampire hunter…why should he change simply to appease me? Still, I stared pleadingly up at him, my eyes stinging with tears. I couldn't hold myself back any longer. I sprinted towards him, flinging my arms around his neck and sobbing into his chest…I was ashamed of myself, acting like such a spoilt child in front of him…but he was so close, I was holding in my arms, I didn't want to ever let him escape again! His hands rested on my head, and I felt his thumb rubbing my head soothingly. I allowed myself to move closer, inhaling his aroma, it was so nostalgic.

"NO!" He suddenly declared, pushing me away from him at such a force stumbled and almost fell back. His eyes were filled with fury…I let out a loud sob, unable to restrain the tears that felt as if they would drown me. He raised a hand to his face, almost as if he was hiding behind his fingers.

"P-please…PLEASE! I…I can't bear to spend another moment away from you!" I begged, unable to reason with him anymore. He took a deep breath, and visibly calmed as a result of it…unlike me. I wept shamelessly into my hands, overwhelmed by the barrage of emotions that had been released over the course of the night. I expected him to stare down at me with a look of revulsion, but the Zero that stared at me now was the Zero I had known when I'd still been human. Pity lingered in his eyes as he watched me fall apart before him.

"What about Kaname Kuran?" He asked simply. I grimaced. I hadn't even considered Kaname…my beloved Kaname but…Kaname wasn't the one taking over me…Kaname wasn't the one torturing me night and day…right now, as much as I loved Kaname I just couldn't ignore the heavy feeling that was welling up inside my heart. Not even I could completely comprehend why I was crying so feverishly. I felt right now the only thing that could ever make me feel happy again was Zero. I wanted Zero's arms to embrace me tightly, and I never wanted him to let go.

"Z-Zero…please…my feelings for you…they're not fake. I feel as if…if you deny me tonight…than I would rather face one of the bullets from your bloody rose gun than live in despair any longer." I blathered through the constant flow of my tears. He raised a hand, as if was going to comfort me…but quickly dropped it again….and then I realised the pained expression on his face...was caused because he was torn. Torn between his feelings for the new and old Yuki, torn between his duty as a vampire hunter and his moral obligations to me.

"…You seemed content by his side. I don't see why you'd want me." He said coolly, contradicting the pained expression that was still etched across his face. I hung my head. I supposed I'd never really known what I'd do if I did get the chance to tell Zero…did that mean I was betraying Kaname? Did it mean I should leave him for Zero….or did it just mean that I was unburdening myself…but wounding Zero further. I clutched my head tightly in my hands, unable to think properly. My head was pounding from the overwhelming despair within me.

"I think I'll lose my mind if we're separated any longer…." I said quietly. Still, it echoed through the large room as if I had shouted it. I realised how spoilt that had sounded. Why was I only capable of hurting them more? Whichever way I looked at it one of them would get hurt. I hated myself for doing this, why had I ever told him? Why hadn't I just admired him from afar and kept it to myself? Had I expected him to smile at me and tell me how glad he was to hear I returned his feelings? How unrealistic of me.

"…I have no feelings for you anymore Yuki. We're enemies." He replied. Actually, it was more of a statement than a reply…I looked up at him, shocked. I blinked at him as if he had spoken a foreign language…could he be serious? My heart constricted. Was I really wasting my time? No…why would he look so hurt if that was true? I shook my head, unable to believe it could be true. He'd reacted too much to make me believe this could possibly be true.

"You kissed me once…and on that night you also vowed you'd kill me…if what you said was true…I'd be dead now. You wouldn't be here…you'd have left the first time I told you to wait…you would've laughed and left when I said that…that I love you." I replied, my voice suddenly steadier than it had been before. Funny how I'd said that with more conviction than anything else that I'd uttered tonight. He suddenly smirked, flipping a few strands of silver hair away from his lilac eyes. So I was correct. His attitude had suddenly changed. His hands rested lazily in his pockets, and his expression was one of amusement. I suddenly felt self-conscious as his gaze travelled the length of my body. I shivered at the look he gave me. He suddenly seemed so calm…and I couldn't help but feel suspicious.

"…You really want me? A common vampire like me? Not even that, level D, a former human…you want these hands to taint your perfect pureblood body?" He asked in an amused tone, lifting his hands in front of his face as if to show me the 'filth' on his hands. I blushed at the way he stared at me, making me feel uncomfortable. He was mocking me. He didn't believe my love for him was real…so therefore he was mocking me. I glared at him, feeling stung that he could possibly think I'd toy with him like that. I knew his feelings for me were pure…why couldn't he believe I could feel something for him?

"I don't care what you are. To me you're Zero…my dear Zero, the boy who's done a lot for…the man I'd give my life for." I replied determinedly. I cocked raised an eyebrow, suddenly seeming serious. I watched in disbelief as his expression became deadly serious. I was amazed at the speed with which his emotions were changing…was he really feeling all of these emotions? Or was he just playing with me? Still, it seemed I had finally gotten through to him, and now he stood up straight and took a step towards me but paused.

"Okay then. If you're sure that's what you want then I'll give it to you. I'll be your lover." He replied casually. His expression still calm and serene, but also earnest and serious. I was a little taken aback. Zero had never been one to show his feelings…and now I was being bombarded by all of them at once. My heart skipped a beat on the word lover. For a moment Kaname flashed through my mind, but I couldn't deny the longing I felt at that moment. I met his gaze once more, nodding resolutely. Yes I wanted him. My mind and body alike had been yearning for a year, so why should I change my mind now? He smiled warmly at me, a smile that made my heart melt. The first smile he'd given me in the longest time.

"Well. If you're certain." He said with a smirk, and before I could open my mouth to reply I was in his arms. He'd moved so swiftly I hadn't been able to react in time. He wrapped one arm tightly around my waist. Closing the gap between our bodies. My heart pounded in my chest at his forwardness. With his free hand he took hold of my chin, our faces were millimetres apart. I shivered as I felt his warm breath against my lips. He was gazing intently into my eyes, seeming to relish in my anxiousness. I hadn't expected this…in the time I'd know Zero…he'd only shown me real affection a handful of times…and he'd only kissed me once…but now….perhaps after a year apart he was yearning for me as much as I was for him. Still…the way he was staring at me. I tried to turn away but his hand kept my face still. He moved in a little closer, his lips hovering just above mine. My face was burning, and I could see the enjoyment he was gaining from teasing me clearly in his eyes.

"Yuki…" He whispered, sending a shiver down the length of my spine. My body trembled in his grip, and he finally released us both from the suspense, gently brushing his lips over mine. The 'kiss' was brief, and instead of satisfying whatever urge was growing within me only increased it. I made a small sound but it was lost to the both of us as he pressed his lips firmly against mine, causing another sound to erupt from my lips. I shut my eyes tightly, willing nobody to come in an interrupt us. His lips moved fervently against mine, and I wasn't quite sure how to react.

"Zero…" I whispered against his passionate kiss. My voice trembled with fear and lust. He ignored me, not releasing me just yet. I shut my eyes again, but snapped them open as I felt his weight pushing against my body, what was he doing? I clung tightly to the arm of his shirt that was wrapped firmly around my waist as he forced me to move backwards. His eyes were open even as he kissed me, and I gasped as we fell back, down on to the red couch that was part of the common room. The hand he had been using to hold my face still moved to support the back of my head, using the other arm to hoist my body into position. He'd positioned me against the armrest of the couch so he wouldn't need to support my head any longer, freeing his hand to move to stroke my cheek.

"W-what are y-" I began to ask, but was cut off as he slipped his tongue into my open mouth. My body tensed as he deepened his kiss. My heart raced, and my mind span. I wasn't used to this, I had no idea how to react to this…Kaname had never kissed me like this before…while my naïve mind grappled with what I should do, my hungering body reacted to him, and I was a little taken aback as I felt my tongue wrestling against his in a passionate embrace. He stared seductively down at me, causing a small moan to erupt from my mouth as he released me, coming up for air.

I panted heavily as he stared down at me; perhaps debating how far he could take things…My mind was still in a haze, not able to quite comprehend what was happening between the two of us. Still, it didn't have the chance to catch up, because within moments he was on me again, kissing me ardently, running a hand through my hair tangling the carefully brushed strands. His free hand began to tear at my dress as if it were an inconvenience. I didn't like the feel of his impassioned hands against my body. I wrapped my arms around his neck, partly in an embrace, and partly to deter him from taking things further. I felt his hand against the bear skin of my leg and began to tremble. I was frightened. This was too much too quickly. I struggled against him, suddenly afraid of what might take place if I didn't stop him now. My mind had registered the situation and decided it was dangerous to allow him any further. He quickly released me. Carefully brushing my dress off and wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket. I flinched as he leaned in close, lovingly moving my hair away from my ear.

"Be more careful next time princess…it's clear to me that what you want is not me. You're lonely….and what you need is his affection, not mine." He whispered harshly in my ear. Still, my body continue to quake even as he stood up. I was surprised as he offered me his hand. I took it a little shyly; ashamed of what had just taken place…what _had_ just taken place? He released my hand and moved towards the door, his expression as cold and unyielding as it hand been earlier.

"Zero wait!...I-I'm sorry…my feelings for you are real! Please don't think otherwise…I just…wasn't expecting that…" My voice was hoarse, and my tone was needy. My hand hovered at my lips, brushing away any smudged lipstick. He turned to stare sadly at me, sighing and striding back towards me. He ran a hand through my hair, grooming it back into a presentable state. I allowed him to groom me, straitening the bow on the front of my dress and running his thumb over my lips to straighten out any smudges. I watched heavy hearted as his fingers hovered over my lips. Something within Zero was stirring…I could see it in his lilac eyes. We both jumped as we heard rapping at the door. Aido was here to collect me.

"You look fine. No one will know..." He said simply, his tone cool but not icy. I nodded; my lower lip trembling slightly at the prospect of having to part once more…I moved towards the door but paused, staring up at Zero's lonely form.

"…My feelings for you haven't changed….I hate myself for that. So let's not do this anymore…let's be frank. What happened tonight was forbidden. We're enemies…and while there is a small chunk of me that feels for you…it doesn't deplete the part of me that wants to kill you….let's forget what happened tonight and move on. The next time I see you…it really will be to finish you off." Zero declared, the edge had returned to his voice, and the fiery glare had come with it. I felt tears spilling again, but this time he didn't flinch. He stood his ground grilling me with that dispassionate gaze. So this was it…I'd had a taste of treason…and had it whipped away the same night. I hung my head, knowing that cheating on my fiancé was wrong…but knowing that to ignore my feelings for Zero was equally wrong. Still, what more could I say? He strode over to the door, opening it for Aido who stood impatiently tapping his foot. So. Zero had made up his mind.

"Yuki? What's wrong? Did Kiryu say something hurtful to you?" Aido demanded running towards me and taking hold of my shoulders. I shook my head. I couldn't speak. I couldn't act…I just cried. I glanced at Zero once more before departing. His expression was cold and unyielding.

"Kiryu what did you say to her?" Aido demanded, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as heavy sobs erupted from my body. I just wanted to go home now. I couldn't believe how foolish I'd been…actually thinking Zero would still want me…

"Nothing. I don't have time for this. I have things to take care of." He said icily, leaving the room at last and striding down the hall as if nothing had happened. I couldn't disguise or stop the tears that streamed freely now, and even as Aido ushered me to the car that was waiting outside, I couldn't ignore the feeling of…heartbreak.


	15. 15 Zero's POV Conflicting emotions

**AN-Hmm…well after re-reading my previous chapter I think that perhaps some people may not warm to Zero enough…I mean this IS a Zeki fanfic….I won't re-write the previous chapter because I still feel it went well, and I kept them pretty much in character…so instead I've decided to write a single Zero chapter, just to give the readers and insight into what he's thinking….plus I thought it would be fun haha. So I hope this clears up **_**why**_** Zero behaved the way he did in the previous chapter a little more…Ah, I'm tired and my explanation is a bit strange so I'll just leave you to read the chapter for yourselves haha. Enjoy! **

Zero POV.

I staggered down the elaborate halls clutching my neck in my hand. I'd left hastily, overwhelmed by what had just taken place between that girl and I…I clenched my teeth, dragging myself into the nearest bathroom, locking the door behind me. I'd intended to return straight to the scene of the crime right after leaving Yuki in the common room….but then it had happened….those words I'd never imagined her saying, at least not to me.

_I love you…_

I gripped the edge of the sink tightly, trying desperately to fight of the sudden bout of hunger that had struck me. Her words swirled endlessly through my mind, goading and tormenting me. I leaned over the sink, panting as if I were about to vomit. What had just happened? I slowly lifted my head up to face my reflection in the mirror, though quickly averted my eyes from the perversion that stared back at me. My eyes had taken on a sickening crimson shade that taunted me, reminding me why I could never call Yuki my own.

"Yuki…" I mumbled, slipping a trembling hand into my jacket pocket and searching for the all too familiar pill box. I grimaced as my fingertips brushed over it, snatching it and yanking it out. With a quivering thumb I slipped back the lid of the box, glaring hatefully at the contents.

_Tha thump_

Another fit of hunger clutched me, blurring my vision and heightening my senses. The jolt that erupted from my body caused me to lose grip of the tiny box, and I watched in irritation as the box clattered into the porcelain of the sink and the contents scattered. I clenched my teeth tightly together, shutting my eyes and recalling what had taken place mere moments ago….

I grimaced. I hadn't known how to react to her words…I thought those words would never escape her lips…I ran my fingers over my lips, trying to find any trace of her still present…her lips had been soft as they had been a year ago…and when I'd help her…I couldn't help myself, they way I'd reacted…I wanted her…I longed for her…but...I hated her for saying those words. _I love you_. She was my enemy and I'd vowed to kill her…she wasn't the same girl I'd fallen in love with. I hated her for bringing all of those unwanted emotions back. After a year I thought I'd finally gotten over her…but it seemed I'd been wrong. I slammed a fist down on to the sink, disgusted with the way I'd behaved. Had she been the human Yuki…I'd have been gentle with her like some kind of fragile little doll…but part of me still loathed the vampire Yuki…

_Poor little pureblood isn't getting enough attention from her lover…so she decides to take advantage of my feelings for her…_

That thought had struck me…and it hurt. It had hurt like a physical wound. The thought that perhaps she didn't really mean what she was saying…and only wanted to manipulate me into pleasing her before running off with that man again. Kaname Kuran. I snarled as if he were actually present in the room. I'd purposely been rough with her…I'd purposely overstepped my boundaries and gone too far as if to spite them both…Part of me had wanted to-I punched the wall. How cruel. I'd almost gone too far…and done something that would've hurt her, purely to win one over on Kaname Kuran…and to teach her a lesson for toying with my emotions.

I glared at the beast in the mirror, feeling a pang of sympathy for the girl. She must've been frightened…she'd clearly never been treated like that before…I stared down at my hands that had groped her mercilessly. I sighed, suddenly feeling ashamed of myself. If what she told me had been true…then I'd been very cruel. Or had I? Was she the cruel one?

"Damn it!" I cried. I wanted to loathe her and believe the way I had treated her was justifiable, and I also wanted to believe that I could kill her….but I just couldn't separate human Yuki and the new Yuki…the way she'd looked at me…and the way she'd spoken…had been reminiscent of my Yuki…but how could I know? Damn her for causing such turmoil within me…I had no idea what to believe. Should I take a risk in some vain hope that what she said had been true….in some foolish belief that she could actually leave that man for me? Or would it be better to trust my instincts and spurn any further advances that may come from her?

I retrieved the spilled blood tablets from the sink. I felt a little nauseous upon seeing the circular red stains that had formed beneath the tablets, caused by the slight dampness of the porcelain sink. The tablets were dissolving still, even as they sat in my cool palm. I grimaced at the sight of my veins rising in my wrist. They were ravenous. I was ravenous….I flung the tablets into my mouth, swallowing them whole. I panted uneasily as they slipped down my throat, their powdery texture clung to my throat, and I could almost feel them fizzing as they dissolved in the moisture of my throat. How disgusting.

I sighed, my head clearing as the blood tablets began to help. The events that had taken place…had confused me. I was furious on one hand...because the ice that had started growing around my memories of her…the ice that allowed me to maintain my feelings of hatred towards her had started to melt from her warmth…and in contradicting way…it also made the ice thicker…I hated her for still holding such power over me.

I placed my pillbox back into my inner pocket, a feeling of guilt still niggling at my conscience. What had taken place….at the time I hadn't planned on launching myself at her like that…something had taken over me, a lust I couldn't ignore. I held a hand over my face as if to shield myself from the truth. It hadn't been bloodlust either…not at first. I'd been hungrily ravaging her, enjoying the feel of her soft curves in my eager hands…I hadn't meant to take things so far but it was almost as if I couldn't control myself…and such a notion frightened me. I had to control myself…but the most sickening thing was….upon realising she was frightened…the bloodlust had kicked in…so it had been a battle between bloodlust and pure sexual lust. I grimaced. Was I really such a beast? Her frightened voice had only heightened my excitement….I snarled at myself…and after that…I'd said what I could to convince her…or more accurately _myself_, that what had taken place was nothing serious, that I had no feelings left for her…but my pounding heart had betrayed that. Her teary face flooded my mind, and I felt a sickening pang of guilt. What had I done? Even when Aido had come in she hadn't been able to stop her tears…it had reminded me of the human Yuki….I shuddered. Even now my body was begging me to pursue her and sink my fangs into her neck…Hah. As if I'd go near her again. No. It was better this way. Perhaps it would deter her from coming so close again…I hoped it would, or else next time she might not come out of it unscathed.

I took a deep breath, striding to the door and unlocking it. I paused for just a moment before leaving, recalling how her body had felt in my arms. I frowned. If I ever was Yuki's lover…I'd probably only end up hurting her anyway…even so…she was a pureblood, something I loathed…and I couldn't forget that. I shook my head, I had to forget about that event, push it to the back of my mind…at least until I returned home for the night. Perhaps then I would dwell some more, but not now. Turning the handle I left the room, making my way back towards the crime scene at hand…I had work to do.


	16. 16 Aftermath

**AN-Wow, long time no update huh? I really am sorry…I've been working on **_**Until I see you Again **_**one of my other fanfics…however that's no excuse for my idleness, so please forgive me if you're still reading this fanfic! This chapter is a little odd…I started it around August time when I last updated, immediately after posting the previous chapter, however I lost inspiration for a short while so have been working on other fanfics…however, I'm feeling inspired once more and I WILL finish this fic! If it seems a bit random in places I apologise, I couldn't remember what my aim was with this chapter so just changed it to fit my new objectives…things will get interesting soon, fear not Zeki fans, there will be more uh…Zekiness in upcoming chapters! **

_One of these days I'll wake up from this…bad dream I'm dreaming, one of these days I pray that I'll be over, over, over you…_

By the time the dark car rolled down the driveway my tears had subsided to muffled sobs and sniffs. I couldn't seem to make sense of what had happened in my head, though my trembling body knew all too well…Aido was still rubbing my back soothingly, but I barely felt the warmth from it. I felt numbed to any other emotion other than the heavy one that was causing my chest to ache. I shut my eyes tightly as I felt the car bounce over the gravel of the driveway, refusing to believe I was being returned to my prison once more.

"Yuki….come on. You should go clean yourself up…Kaname-sama will be worried if he finds you in such a state…" Aido chided me. We were walking down the gravelled path. The odd tear still found its way out of my eyes, sliding quietly down my cheeks. My pain had subsided, but anger was beginning to grow in its place…and the anger wasn't directed solely at Zero. Aido had been reprimanding me ever since we'd stepped foot out of the car. He meant well…he simply wanted me to get a grip of myself before Kaname returned…still. Right now I couldn't focus on Kaname. My feelings felt muddled and I couldn't decide quite how I was feeling about my dear Kaname at the moment. I paused at the door, waiting for Aido to step forward with the keys. I watched silently as he slipped the key into the lock, and with a soft click we were granted access to the Kuran mansion. He held the door open for me, and I made my way inside, giving him a quick nod of gratitude. I still didn't feel much like talking.

"Your makeup has run Yuki…please…if you don't want me to help you clean up, at least clean yourself up…will you tell me what happened?" He persisted. I clenched my hands into fists becoming more and more aggravated. He wanted me to hide my tears from Kaname so that I wouldn't be a burden on him. It cut me almost physically…the thought that my pain would only be a hindrance to the man I loved. Of course Kaname would never call me a burden…I doubted he even viewed me that way…but it stung to realise that everyone else saw me in such a light. I could imagine those people whispering among themselves…_poor Kaname-sama, he's got so much work to do already…and now on top of that he has a little sister to teach and care for_… well the people that knew I'd just been awakened at least…the night class. Although Aido tried to disguise it, I could tell he knew why I was crying…perhaps not the exact reason, but he knew it had something to do Zero…and I.

"Yuki…what did Kiryu say…or do to you? Don't keep quiet just to protect him, if he's done something he needs to be punished." Aido declared. I grimaced. Could Aido tell that Zero had held me tenderly in his arms? Could he tell we'd kissed passionately? I refused to meet his gaze, terrified he'd see treason written all over my face. Could he tell I'd cheated on Kaname, my fiancé? I paced quickly towards the stairs, intending to do as he'd suggested and clean myself up before Kaname returned home…to wash away any evidence that I had committed a taboo against him.

"Yuki! Please tell me! Kaname-sama will be furious if he finds out what a state Kiryu left you in, and I intend to do something about it!" Aido kept on. Unable to take it anymore I swivelled round to face him. He looked a little taken aback at my sudden advance, but I was so infuriated.

"If I'm such a burden on Kaname, maybe I should just _leave_!" I hissed, surprised at the intensity with which I spoke. I knew it was out of character for me to lash out at Aido like this…or even to say a negative word about Kaname…but the evening's events had left me physically, mentally and emotionally drained. The feelings that hadn't escaped through my tears were now escaping in the form of anger. Aido was visibly shocked by this outburst. The anger dissolved with another outburst of sobs, and the tears were hot and feverish. I felt humiliated, betrayed….but most importantly I felt like I was a traitor against my own brother…my own fiancé.

"You know that isn't right. Kaname-sama loves you dearly." Aido reminded me. His tone was composed, almost soothing now. I pivoted back around to flee the scene. I didn't want to stand here arguing with Aido…I wanted to scurry to my room and imprison myself in there. To bury myself beneath the thick covers of my four poster bed and never emerge. I shot Aido one last tearful glance before sprinting up the marble staircase at an alarming speed, taking two steps at a time. It never ceases to amaze me how sorrow as an emotion can overwhelm a person completely and cause them to behave irrationally, even recklessly. Aido made no move to stop me, it seemed he understood my wish…no my _need_ to be alone. He understood that something had taken place between Zero and I, even if he didn't know what….

I flung myself through my bedroom door, slamming the door behind me like a spoilt child throwing a temper tantrum. I strode unsteadily towards my dresser, fumbling around, feeling for the familiar shape of a small key. The tears continued to flow throughout this search, making it more difficult to locate the missing key to my door. Having made a mess of my dressing table I fell to my knees, using its sturdy wooden surface to prop me up as I sobbed. I felt a hand to my mouth attempting to muffle the painful cries that erupted from my body every few minutes. I recalled how Zero's lips had felt…how they'd tasted…how his hands had roamed my body, forcing my skirt up…I wondered how far he would've taken things…My body trembled and I suddenly felt the need to shower. The need to scrub tonight's events away from my body.

Shakily I used the dressing table as a support, using it to push myself into a standing position. I staggered towards the bathroom, tearing the earrings away from my earlobes, ignoring the pain that throbbed in my ears as a result of this. Snatching the pearl necklace from my throat, and the silk headband from my hair, I flung these trivial items down on my bed before darting towards the bathroom. I was manic all of a sudden. I cast my mind back to the night I had first willingly given Zero my blood…I had hastily showered, washing the blood and the sin away…or so I had thought. Kaname had known despite my best efforts to conceal our sinful act….

_What were you trying to wash away? _

Kaname's words rang through my head like an alarm. Surely he already knew what Zero and I had done…he already knew I had passionately embraced another man…I fumbled with my dress, my hands trembling anxiously. The dress fell from my body, and I began to tear at my underwear. I had to wash away the evidence…he'd smell it on me. Treason. Unfaithfulness. He'd smell Zero's scent on me, taste his saliva on my lips when he went to kiss me. Scrabbling at the shower's valve I fell into the shower, taking the pink sponge that hung from a rope from the shower's valve and scrubbing at my body ferociously. I snatched the soap from the soap dish, cursing quietly under my breath as it almost slipped from my grasp. I held firmly on to it, running its slimy surface over my body as speedily as I could. I scoured my neck with the sponge, desperately bidding to remove any of Zero's scent from my neck. I scrubbed viciously at my legs which had been graced by Zero's fervent hands. I tore at my body in such a way for a good forty five minutes until my skin burned, my pores begged me to halt my assault and I dropped the sponge and the soap to the floor. I slumped down, leaning against the wall of the shower, relishing in the soothing pelt of the droplets. I ran a hand through my dripping hair, the motion bringing back images of Zero.

At last I stumbled out of the shower, shakily turning the valve once more and ceasing the onslaught of the water droplets. I hastily dried myself, wincing as the towel's surface felt rough against my irritated skin. Like a ghost I glided back into my room, feeling somewhat drained after my manic attack of guilt and fear. My body felt heavy, and I didn't believe I could shed another tear tonight…I stood before the full-length mirror that hung upon the wall, absently observing myself properly for the first time since I'd become a pureblood vampire….or perhaps I should say since I regained my memories as a pureblood vampire. Beads of water still trickled from my hair which clung to my bare skin like a second skin. Irked by its length I flipped it behind my back out of the way.

I finally saw what Zero saw. I was no longer the sweet innocent and naïve Yuki I had once been…I trembled, raising a hand to the cool glass of the mirror. My entire body shivered, urging me to dress myself. The room was cold but my cheeks burned as I surveyed myself with a mixture of emotions. Had I really changed so much since my blood had been infused with Kaname's? I backed away from the mirror, unable to pry my crimson eyes from the reflection of the girl before me.

Of course I'd realised that my hair had grown…my eyes would glow an eerie scarlet when I felt the pang of hunger that would often assault my senses…however that had been the extent of my knowledge. Viewing myself now…It had only just hit me…the blood of Kuran had not simply changed me from a vampire to a human…Whether it was the blood or simply my age, I could see clearly now how I had changed. How my body had changed. In the year of being apart I hadn't noticed the changes that had subtly been taking place…I had matured in that time it would seem…I had been a girl a year ago when he had kissed me….when I hadn't understood how deeply his feelings ran…but now I was a woman. I understood the depth of his longing, of his love…because as my eyes passed over the curve of my hips, over my curved and matured figure…I saw what Zero saw. The woman that had devoured the innocent child that was Yuki. I ran a single finger from my waist down to my thigh; tracing the area where Zero's fingers had danced…I was no longer innocent. I realised this now as this simple gesture sent a rush of ecstasy through my body. I'd been cruel to tease Zero tonight…foolish even…he'd know exactly what it was I'd wanted…what I'd needed….or perhaps more precisely what my body wanted…Of course. He understood me better than I did. He had a year's more experience, a year's more knowledge…I suddenly saw reflected in my eyes the look that had been swimming in Zero's lilac orbs for years now…The glances he'd throw me now and then…that curious expression I'd been unable to understand, the one that would last only a moment before he masked it from me once more. I backed away from the mirror, suddenly frightened to see that lustful expression upon my face…as it had appeared on Zero's tonight…

"Yuki…" Kaname's voice sounded from the door, his tone low and somewhat coy. I turned to face him, momentarily forgetting my lack of clothing. My cheeks prickled as a blush spread across my face. His eyes stared, fixated for a moment, running the length of my body before he hastily averted his gaze. My hands instantly flew to my chest, however it seemed he had already taken in enough to realise it was unwise to stare any longer. _How long has he been in here? _I wondered to myself.

"K-Kaname-sama…" I stuttered, my humiliation causing me to revert back to innocently calling him 'sama'. Inwardly I scolded myself…why did I still behave in such a childish way if I was so 'mature'. My eyes flickered around the room, searching for something to cover my bare body with. A pang of relief enveloped me as I spotted a silky dressing-gown…however it hung upon a hook attached to the door…the door which Kaname stood awkwardly at. I spluttered something incomprehensible before darting towards the bathroom for cover. I flinched as I felt his arms wrapping around me. More in control of his pureblood powers he had used his supernatural speed to his advantage. Could he hear my heart fluttering anxiously in my chest? Could he still pick up any scent of Zero's passionate embrace on my skin? He withdrew swiftly, and I realised he had place the nightgown over my shoulders. Trembling, I slipped my arms through the silky sleeves, tying the ribbon tightly around my waist before turning to face him.

"You called me sama." Kaname smirked, a somewhat provocative expression upon his face. He lifted me from my feet with alarming swiftness, placing me down on my bed. The playful expression dissipated as quickly as it had appeared, leaving a more serious look on his face. My heart skipped a beat. He knelt down in front of me, surveying my face, his eyes passing over the curve of my lips, causing me to shift nervously on the spot.

"What happened this evening Yuki? I hear you left the soiree in tears." He spoke softly, gently, running a loving hand over my cheek, sending a shiver through my body. Why was he being so kind to me? Surely he could see I had cheated on him this evening…In my body language, in my guilty eyes that carefully avoided his intense gaze. I blushed as I was pulled into a tight embrace, Kaname's head resting against my shoulder, his arms wrapped tightly around my torso. I felt another onslaught of tears rushing to the surface of my eyes, flooding over the rims of my eyes, slipping silently down my cheeks from my chin into his mop of dark hair. Apparently feeling the tiny droplets upon his scalp he peered up at me, a worried expression plastered across his face.

"I just…I was overwhelmed….seeing Yori and everything…after so long" I lied…I couldn't bring myself to admit the true reason for my tears…to admit that the reason I was so hysterical was because my body mind and soul longed for Zero. I teased Kaname's hair with my fingers absently, my vision blurred by the tears that continued to fall silently. I allowed myself to fall down on the bed so that I lay on my back. Kaname hoisted himself upon the bed beside me, lying on his side and watching me silently. I felt nauseous. His concern was something I didn't deserve…he'd been so good to me and all I could do was hurt him…he leant down, planting a gentle kiss on my forehead, hovering over me so that our foreheads touched reminding me of when we were children.

"…I hate being this way Kaname….I'm…I'm a monster…" I uttered quietly, not having intentionally allowed these words to escape my lips. He smiled kindly at me, brushing his lips over my own, causing another blush to flood my cheeks. We stared into one another's eyes for a while. It seemed he didn't mind my cruel words against our race…Just content to lie with me…he was perfect. So why wasn't I content? Why did my body yearn for Zero? I shut my eyes, the fatigue I felt was overwhelming…Why couldn't I think straight right now? I sighed deeply as Kaname planted gentle kisses upon my lips, pulling my body closer to his.

"Sleep Yuki. Whatever is bothering you…don't allow it to drain you completely." He whispered, his voice soft and low. However, I didn't reply, already sensing the darkness and tranquillity of sleep enveloping my weary limbs. I felt the overwhelming sense that I could no longer stay here anymore…that what I had said to Aido earlier in a moment of heightened anger…had actually been true.

_If I'm such a burden on Kaname, maybe I should just __**leave**_.

I inhaled Kaname's familiar scent….inwardly deciding even as sleep claimed me that tomorrow I would do something…after a year of idleness it was time to end this vicious cycle…even if it meant treason. I had to end it all.


	17. 17 Goodbye is a Second Chance

**AN- Here's another one! I don't have much to say on this chapter so…enjoy! Feel free to review if you like =).**

Kaname left early the following morning…as he always did. I was already wide awake by the time I felt him heave himself from my bed and exit my room. I'd feigned a deep slumber when I'd felt him leaning over me to see if I had awoken. My heart had broken feeling the gentle kiss he'd planted upon my head before dragging himself away from me once more. For a while I lay on my back, staring blankly at the sheet above my four-poster bed. Despite my fatigue I'd barely slept last night, having decided (rather brashly I might add) to run away my mind had been a mirage of thoughts, fears and ideas the entire night. I restlessly played with my hair as I anxiously waited to hear the sound of the double doors slamming shut, informing me that Kaname had departed for the day.

I shut my eyes, wary of falling victim to sleep and missing my opportunity…there was only a small period of time between Kaname leaving and Aido arriving for my day's lessons, so I had to time everything perfectly. A more sensible side of me told me I should leave it until tomorrow…that would give me this morning to pack everything I needed and then I could take my leave tomorrow…however I knew that the 'sensible' side of me could just as easily convince me not to go. I wanted to do it now while I had the conviction to.

_Slam_

My signal came. It was time to act. I waited another minute before leaping out of bed, just to be sure that Kaname hadn't neglected to remember something and return to find me taking my leave…Satisfied I was completely alone I arose from my bed, blushing at the memory that I was merely wearing a dressing gown and nothing else…Still, fumbling with the knot I'd tied around my waist, I flung the gown to the ground, dashing towards my dresser and retrieving some underwear. I grabbed a large handful of miscellaneous items of underwear, aware that it may be a while before I had some way to wash my clothes again if my plans didn't succeed. I flung the pile down on the bed, retrieving a pair to wear today and hastily pulled these items on to my body.

I darted into the walk-in-closet, scanning the racks for something convenient I could wear today. Spying a frilly blouse with puffy short sleeves I tugged the shirt over my head, realising it wasn't exactly 'perfect' running away wear…but it would have to do. Hastily I fumbled with a pair of tights, struggling to pull the stretchy material over my legs with any sort of grace. Finally I snatched a pink skirt from the rack, hoisting it up my lower half and zipping it up at the waist.

My eyes wandered over the shelves that were fixed above the clothes racks…I was certain I'd seen a bag in here before…a travelling bag. My eyes lit up spotting the brown holdall. I was too short to reach it, much to my irritation, so using the skills I had learned as a disciplinary committee member I leapt into the air, grasping on of the handles that dangled carelessly from the edge of the shelf, tugging it hard and bringing a shower of dust cascading down with it. I choked on the dust raining down, spluttering for a few moments before regaining my composure. I hastily snatched as many comfortable, warm items of clothing as I could, stuffing them carelessly into the holdall bag, not particularly caring if they got creased.

Leaving the closet I grabbed the underwear I had retrieved earlier, cramming it far down into the bottom of my bag. I allowed my eyes to wander over to the clock that perched upon my bedside table. 6:30…Kaname had left at 6:00…Aido would be here 7:00 maybe even 6:45 if I was unlucky…though I wasn't expected to start 'school' until 8:30 I was sure he'd come early to prepare his books and items for today's lessons. I sprinted into the bathroom, almost slipping over the ball gown I had discarded carelessly on the floor the previous night. Fishing toiletries out from my bathroom cabinet I stowed them in my bag, remembering I still needed to pack my purse and some form of ID. Both of these items were safely kept in my bedside table drawer, and it didn't take me long to recover these items.

By this time it was 6:40, I had five minutes if I was incredibly unlucky…dashing down the stairs I darted into the kitchen, scratching through the cabinets in search of some form of sustenance. I sighed in irritation at the lack of ready to eat food…it was all ingredients. Instead I flung some fruit from the fruit bowl into my bag and hastened out of the back door, knowing full well Aido would enter through the front.

_I'm so sorry Kaname…Aido…but this is something I have to do…_

I knew where I was headed…the train station…if I could get there I could catch the train into town and then I'd be a step closer to finding somewhere to stay….I cursed lightly under my breath, realising I'd forgotten to retrieve a coat. The cold air hit me, making my skin tingle painfully at the icy edge to the wind. I sighed, dropping my bag to the floor and deciding I had to get a coat. I dashed back into the mansion, pumping my legs as fast as I could towards the hallway…I dove into the coat closet, seizing the coat nearest to me, a pink one with a fluffy white trim. Tucking it under my arm I made a break for it once more, deciding I could don the coat once I was back outside.

_Click_

The sound of the front door being opened spurred me into action, causing me to sprint even more hastily back to the kitchen and through the back door.

"Yuki are you up?" I heard Aido's familiar tone echo through the kitchen towards me. Ignoring him I flung myself through the back door, shutting it as quietly as I possibly could while attempting to make a hasty exit. Reclaiming my holdall I race towards the train station at top speed, not pausing to put on my coat, not stopping to look back, I continued to run until I reached the safety of the station.

Upon reaching the station my limbs were sore and weary, my muscles ached and my legs felt as if they were about to give way. I collapsed down on to a bench inside the station, deciding it would be wise to catch my breath before going any further. I suddenly wished I'd brought a drink. I unbuttoned the few buttons that were present more for decoration than anything else on the collar of my blouse. My skin felt clammy and warm from running so much, and I fanned myself with my hand to cool down.

Once my heartbeat had regained its usual rhythm, I began to consider what I would do next. I obviously couldn't loiter about the station all day…Aido or Kaname would surely discover me here and drag me back to the mansion. My heart fluttered as I gazed at the myriad of people hustling and bustling around the station….I was still so naïve…I'd never travelled on a train before and really had no idea how to even obtain a ticket…or how much a ticket would cost…I suddenly felt a pang of fear. I was frightened. This was the first time in a very long time I'd been out on my own…my heart raced loudly in my ears, and I was reminded of my first human memory out on that snowy mountain…my pulse quickened and my stomach knotted. I unzipped my holdall with trembling fingers, pawing through the contents until I came across the familiar shape of my purse. I peered inside…I didn't have a lot of money, but it would surely be enough to buy me a one-way ticket at least, if not some food as well.

"Okay then…let's do this." I muttered to myself, zipping the holdall back up though keeping the purse on my person. My comment drew a few strange looks from passers-by who probably considered me nuts for talking to myself so openly. Still, I made my way around the train station, searching for a kindly worker who could possibly give me advice and point me in the right direction. After a short while of wandering blindly around I spotted a ticket booth without a queue and decided it would be wise to ask there. I gulped, tightening my grip on the handles of my bag and striding as assuredly as I could towards the booth. Apprehensively I stopped in front of the glass, noting the small microphone that was attached to the side for me to speak into. A middle aged woman with a mop of dark curly hair and a fierce expression gazed back at me through the glass. I cleared my throat, moving towards the microphone to speak to her.

"E-excuse me b-but…I've never purchased a ticket myself before um…and I'm not entirely sure what to do…" I stuttered, wincing at the static that crackled from the microphone as I spoke. The woman stared blankly at me for a moment, giving me a look that made me feel incredibly unintelligent and foolish for even confessing to her that this was my first time boarding a train alone. She continued to stare uninterestedly at me for a few more moments before uttering a sigh and replying to me.

"Okay…where is it you wanna' go?" The woman questioned, her tone as bleak and bored sounding as her expression. I gulped, tapping he microphone softly to test it before continuing.

"I-I want a one way ticket into the nearest town…and i-if you could tell me how much that would cost as well I-I'd really appreciate it." I stammered, reaching into my pocket to retrieve my purse so as not to aggravate the woman anymore. She paused before answering, muttering the familiar name of the town I had grown up in, just to make sure she was correct. When I nodded she turned to her little computer, tapping at the keys with alarming rapidity before turning to face me once again. She mumbled the price and I quickly checked my purse to make sure I had the correct amount. I nodded, pulling a crinkled looking note from my purse and handing it to the woman beneath the glass that separated us. She tapped at her computer once more before pressing a button that produced the ticket I would need to board the train. Passing it to me she said;

"Platform two. The train is due in ten minutes." I nodded in response, flashing her a quick smile and thanking her before heading back through the train station and searching for platform two.

..

It was plain sailing for a short while as I quickly discovered the designated platform, and the train arrived at the promised time as I'd hoped. Plus there was no sign of Aido trying to find me…so far so good.

The train ride wasn't a long one, and I sat alone with nothing to do but stare blankly out of the window as trees and fields sped past in a colorful blur. I smiled childishly whenever I spotted some kind of farm animal, remembering the rare occasions I would board the train with the Headmaster or Kaname and they would point these creatures out to me, accompanying their name with the sound the animal made, sending me into a fit of giggling each time.

Butterflies fluttered within my stomach, reminding me with each breath I took that this was crazy…what I was doing was reckless and foolish…but at the same time I couldn't help but feel a little excited at the adrenaline that was coursing through my veins. It was like an adventure, venturing outside of the Kuran mansion alone for the first time…For the first time in my life I felt like the adult I supposedly was…despite my fear I was still trembling with excitement as well, and as the train skidded to a halt at my stop, I eagerly disembarked, ready to search for Zero.

I wandered through the town, remembering that human were awake at this time…relishing the sights, smells and atmosphere with my new vampiric senses. The sound of my boot heels clacking against the cobbled stones excited me as I ventured through the streets I had grown up in. I was utterly lost at points, never having paid much attention to direction in the past…I'd always come here with someone. However, it was enthralling walking through the streets searching for a familiar sign or turn. I was content to simply explore the streets in this way for hours, browsing shops and markets, stopping to buy a hot-dog from a street vender when my stomach began to complain at me.

However, as it was winter the skies began to grow dark early, as the Sun sank into oblivion, welcoming the moon. By four o'clock in the afternoon I was aware that outdoor markets were packing their merchandise away, and the crowds began to thin as an eerie atmosphere engulfed the pleasant feeling that dwelled within the town during the day. It was at this time I began to feel unsettled…my reason for running away was that I had wanted to see Zero…I had wanted to give in to Zero and tell him I wanted nothing more than to be with him…however, as the streets grew emptier it occurred to me that I had no idea where to look…and more worryingly no place to stay. The friendly atmosphere was dissipating, and I decided that now would be a good time to begin my search. I had been half aware that I had to keep an eye out for Zero the entire day, however I had been so taken with the town that I had neglected to remember that it was a Monday, and therefore Zero would be attending school.

I strolled through the emptying streets, wondering which way the school was…surely he'd still be there…I glanced at my watch…5:30…I'd been aimlessly wandering for a good hour and a half…and I was beginning to feel threatened by the lack of people still present among the streets. Perhaps I could come across the Vampire Hunter Society and ask there…

_Right after they imprison you for trying to break in…there's no way they'll just LET a pureblood vampire waltz right in…_

My stomach began to growl and gurgle again, reminding me it had been hours since I'd last eatenthe hotdog I had purchased. I rummaged through the holdall for what felt like the hundredth time today, irked that every time I dove within it my purse, the item I had used the most today, has slipped through the wad of clothes and toiletries down to the bottom of the bag. A pang of dread overwhelmed me, arising from my stomach as I realised I couldn't feel the familiar shape of the purse anywhere. I exhaled in frustration, hoisting the bag over my shoulder and searching for a bench. Seeing none I simply decided to slump down on the floor against one of the buildings. Dropping the holdall to the ground I began to paw frantically through it, desperately searching for my purse…I didn't recall putting it down anywhere…I'd only bought the hotdog, and I'd been careful not to leave my purse there…dread gripped me at the thought of being pick-pocketed…though surely I would've noticed that as well?

I was becoming frantic when I finally came across it, entangled in a mass of shirts. I rolled my eyes, smiling a little as relief washed over me. I was able to relax. I shivered. The sky was dark now, and with the darkness had come a drop in temperature. I drew my knees up against my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs to produce some sort of warmth. Clutching my purse tightly in my hands I peeked into its contents, feeling a little melancholy discovering I had less money left than I'd hoped…I didn't have enough for a meal and a hotel…I could hardly ignore the growling of my famished stomach…however the prospect of having to sleep alone on the streets frightened me to my core…I'd caught glimpses of the fearsome vampires that roamed the streets at night, ferocious and frightening beings…

_To most vampires…they find us to be…much more attractive than a human child, or even their beloved ones…they see us as prey_

Kaname's words from the soiree crossed my mind, causing my body to tense at the thought of these vampires…at the time he had been referring to the Aristocrats present at the soiree…Aristocrats who were calm and sophisticated beings, able to dwell among humans without causing them harm…not the type of vampire I would run into in dark alleyways at night…it was far more probable that I would stumble across level Cs…level Ds…and perhaps even the most dangerous and unpredictable level Es. I frowned, deciding that despite my growling stomach I would need to address my own safety first…I was sure I still had a few items of fruit left in the bottom of my bag anyway.

I stared solemnly at the meagre amount of money left in my purse…it was unlikely I could obtain a room for so little, even in a cheap hotel…still, I decided it would be best to try at least. I didn't want to sleep on the streets…I arose, ignoring the pain in my weary limbs, retrieving my bag and heading toward the nearest inn I could find…

…I was disheartened to discover my assumptions had been correct. After visiting every hotel and inn I could find, I was concerned to realise I didn't have enough money to buy a room anywhere. I sighed, staring at the change in my purse, longing for another wad of notes to appear within it and save me from a rough night on the streets. Another gurgle erupted from my empty stomach, swaying my attention towards the restaurants that still remained open. I decided it would be unwise to spend the remainder of my money on a single meal, and instead opted to grab something cheaper from a takeout place, even if it meant eating alone outside. Or perhaps it would be better still to actually finishing the fruit remaining in my bag and save my money for some form of travel tomorrow morning…I could find my way to the school, perhaps catching the bus.

I trudged towards a bench I had spotted earlier today that was located near the centre of the town. I was wary of hiding in a secluded spot, not wanting to come across any of the vampires I imagined lurked through the dark and eerie alleyways. I slumped down beside said bench, not wanting to draw any attention to myself. I took comfort in the nearby lamp post that shone warmly down upon me. I wriggled beneath the bench, deciding it would be adequate protection as well as a half decent hiding place, I doubted anyone would spot me here unless they were looking…It suddenly struck me that I hadn't come across Aido or Kaname…or anyone else from the Nightclass. Surely they knew I was missing by now. I'd been missing the entire day and it as growing late.

I no longer felt hungry, and instead decided to try and sleep. My heart was fluttering madly in my chest. I loathed being alone at night…the town that had seemed so boisterous and friendly in the daylight appeared ugly and sinister beneath the cloak of darkness. Even the light of the moon appeared eerie and frightening right now…I propped the bag beneath my head as a make-shift pillow, shutting my eyes tightly against the fear that was overwhelming me. I tugged my coat tightly around my form, shivering at the cold uncomfortable feel of the cobbled stones below me. I prayed silently to whoever was listening to keep me safe tonight despite the fact whatever happened to me was my own fault for being so reckless…

My mind wandered to Zero…Where was he right now? I anticipated he would be in the boy's dormitory back at the Academy…My heart felt heavy at the thought of Zero. What I'd done had truly been reckless…even if I found Zero I had no idea if he'd take me in…he'd sworn once more that he would murder me if he saw me again…I didn't believe there was any sincerity behind those words, however Zero wouldn't be pleased if he knew I felt this way.

_Zero…wherever you are…I want you to know I'm searching for you…_


	18. 18 Bloodlust

**A/N-What will happen to Yuki now she's out on her own? Thank you to everyone who's been supporting the story by the way…just thought I'd throw that in there too =P. Enjoy this new chapter!**

_SCRAPE_

A loud sound flooded into my ears, violently pulling me back into consciousness. I wasn't sure how long I'd been asleep, but judging by my heavy eyelids it hadn't been nearly long enough. My muscles tensed as I felt the bench I'd taken refuge beneath being wrenched away from me. I yelped, feeling my legs being tugged at as I was hauled away from my hiding place. My initial thoughts were that Kaname had come searching for me…that he'd spotted me beneath the bench and was going to drag me back to the Kuran mansion. Wincing as I was dragged along the cold cobbled stones of the pavement I glared up at my attacker, believing it to be Aido or Kaname…maybe even Kain. However, my blood ran cold I stared up into the faces of a pair of unfamiliar men who looked to be in their late thirties or early forties. I couldn't decipher whether or not they were vampires just yet, however, I didn't wish to hang around to find out.

"I told ya' there was someone under there." One of the men bragged with a smirk. I was frightened…these men hadn't necessarily done anything bad yet…but every fibre of my being was pleading with me to get away from these men…I backed away slowly, not caring if the backs of my tights snagged on the uneven pavement below me. I glanced back to the bench which had been moved to grant them access to me, mentally preparing myself to snatch my holdall and make a dash for safety.

"It's a **girl**, _you_ thought it was a hobo…" One of the other men piped up, sending a chill down my spine as I noticed the apparent slur to his voice. The men were intoxicated…this realisation sent my heart pounding violently in my chest. I didn't exactly have experience with drunken men…however, I was well aware of the dangers posed…the fact that alcohol could obliterate the senses of even the kindest men, even that of my beloved Kaname and turn him into the vilest of beasts if he consumed too much…I shivered as a cold wind whipped through the deserted streets…even the once comforting light of the lampshade seemed to emit a peculiar and unnerving glow. Edging backwards still in a sitting position I held my hand out behind me, desperately groping the ground for the handle of my bag.

"No…it's a _woman_." The second argued back, and I froze on the spot as his eyes passed over me. I inwardly recoiled at the way he'd made the clear division between a girl and a woman…the way the word _woman _had rolled off his tongue as if it were pleasurable even to say…and despite the fact he had clearly said it in such a way to imply to his friend that this was a positive thing…the tone he had used made the word sound almost dirty…as if he were speaking of something pornographic. The slight glaze that clouded the eyes of these men made me doubt how in control they were of themselves…something within me was urging me to flee, telling me that these men were not safe to be around…tension clung to the night air, weighing me down almost…or perhaps that was my fear. I backed up further, feeling a pang of relief as the material of my bag brushed against my palm.

"Hey, hey, hey, where d,you think your goin'? Won't you be needin' this?" The larger man cut in, causing me to flinch. Even through the thick denier of my tights I could feel the icy coldness of the cobbled stones beginning to sink into the backs of my legs. I longed to flee. This whole thing had been a dreadful idea…I should never have run away from home…I gasped aloud as the dishevelled looking man waved a pink purse high above his head. My hands immediately darted to my coat pockets, frantically feeling for the purse I was certain I had stowed away safely in there before I'd fallen asleep. I glared up at the thief, suddenly certain that the article that hung from his chubby hand was indeed my purse, and not of that of some other woman he had pick-pocketed. I leapt to my feet, suddenly determined to fight to retrieve what was mine. I groaned in irritation as he flung the little purse at his lanky looking friend, who opened it, pawing through it much to my disgust.

"She ain't got much…." The tall lanky man told his plump companion in a drawling voice, informing me that he was the drunker of the two…I was frightened, my legs quaked and my entire body trembled, however I knew I had to retrieve my purse and the little amount of money that was left in it. The men sniggered as I leapt in the air, arms outstretched, attempting to grasp the little pink purse and snatch it away from the man's bony fingers.

"Duh, she was sleepin' on the street." The portly man replied matter of factly before snatching the little purse away from him once more. I didn't want to become violent, knowing full well that despite my pureblood strength I was not experienced enough to take on both of the men at once…I hadn't fed from Kaname in a while, and consequently my vampiric powers were a lot weaker than usual...both of these factors prevented me from forcing them to return my purse. Still, I leapt in the air, though the men had a good foot over me in height, this combined with the fact they were dangling the purse high above their own heads meant that it was impossible for me to even graze the fabric with the tips of my fingers. I sighed as my feet landed upon the cobbled stones once more. Perhaps I'd get further by actually speaking to the men…but considering the way they were slouched, and seemingly have trouble balancing I doubted that this course of action would have a more desirable affect than the previous.

"Would you please return that to me? I need it..." I asked as bravely as I could, however my fear seemed to sneak through, causing my voice to falter and shake slightly. The men stared at me as if I were speaking a foreign language before continuing their slurred and incomprehensible banter. I pulled my coat more tightly around me, really feeling the chill of the night air now. I wanted nothing more than to retrieve my purse and run back to the train station…I didn't care if I had to wait until morning for a train home, this encounter had left me feeling dizzy and frightened. Perhaps it was for the best I hadn't found Zero…perhaps this was a sign that I should simply retreat back to the confinement of the Kuran mansion, I clearly wasn't ready for such an endeavour just yet.

"Please return that to me! I need to get home!" I begged, struggling to keep the fear out of my voice, and mentally scolded myself for sounding so pathetic. Unshed tears seemed to speak loudly through my quivering tone of voice. However the men continued to paw through the contents of my purse, further distressing and enraging me. As I made another leap for it I was caught off guard as the stouter of the two men caught me, causing me to thrash my limbs in fright. I shivered in revulsion as he pulled me close. My heart raced as he seemed to inhale the back of my head, taking in the scent of my hair before softening his grip, though only a little.

"You're a pretty girl…if you don't have anywhere to go you can come back with us…" The man holding me offered. Though his offer would seem kind on the outside, the way he spoke and the way his grip shifted on my waist unnerved me. I didn't want this man's arms around me…his breath wreaked of stale alcohol and made me want to gag. I shifted in his grip, causing him to pull me closer.

"N-No thank you, please, I just want my purse so I can go home…please." I begged, my voice audibly cracking with emotion now as I struggled in his iron grip. The skinnier man glanced into the front pocket of my purse before glancing back at me. His lopsided grin made me feel somewhat ill…what had he found among the contents of my purse that had made him grin so unnervingly at me. He advanced towards me, his eyes running the length of my body. I yelped as the chubby man released me. However with one of the men advancing towards me and one behind me I had nowhere to run. I was trapped. My pulse quickened yet again, and my entire body was suddenly covered in a sheath of sweat…I could no longer feel the cold nip of the night air as I was sandwiched between the two. The warmth created from their advance and my own fear was no comfort however.

"Yuki…that your name?" The slim man questioned in a low and husky tone, holding up my wallet and revealing my ID card that sat displayed in the front pocket. I didn't reply. His voice unsettled me, it sounded almost breathless and reminded me of Zero's the night of the soiree…husky and needy…I ignored the statement and instead decided to make a dash for it, ducking beneath their arms that tried to stop me and dashing towards my back. I snatched it from the ground swiftly sprinting away. Let them keep my purse. I just wanted to get away. The sound of heavy footsteps behind me spurred me forward. My heart pounded almost in time to the sound of my pounding footsteps. They jeered me from behind, I couldn't make out what they were saying though. The adrenaline that had provoked my bid for freedom began to decline, and the fear that took its place seemed to weigh my legs down as if they were made of lead. The night air whipped my face, stinging my eyes and cheeks. I stumbled, catching my foot on one of the cobbled stones. That was all they needed.

"Got ya!" The skinnier man said gruffly, and I screamed as I felt his bony fingers locking on my arms, dragging me roughly towards a side-street. I thrashed my limbs violently, dropping the holdall in the process. I didn't care about my belongings, I just wanted to escape! I wasn't certain of the men's intentions regarding me, however their malicious behaviour told me whatever they had in store wasn't pleasant. He grunted as my limbs collided with his torso, and he slammed by body violently into a brick wall. I cried out in pain from the impact, though more from fear than actual physical pain. I lifted my foot up, swinging it back and attempting to hit him in the crotch…a useful tip Zero had once given me…Zero…a pang of longing to see his familiar lilac eyes hit me…I wanted to see him…wanted him to help me! However, I knew I couldn't rely on Zero for the rest of my days…I had to learn to protect myself. The man swore loudly from the impact of my heeled boot and slapped me firmly across my face, sending me reeling. I stumbled back, slipping down against the same wall I had been slammed into moments before.

"Bitch! Little _bitch_!" The scrawny man snarled, leaning down so that his face was inches away from mine. I choked on his odorous breath. The acidity with which he addressed me sent a further wave of panic throughout my body. I'd enraged him now. Perhaps they had only been playing around before…but now they both loomed over me. The larger man scowled at me as his friend cupped his hands over his crotch, muttering obscenities under his breath. Perhaps an almost comical situation from another's point of view, the large and skinny man juxtaposed would have been comical…however, these men glared viciously at me, and like a frightened mouse I attempted to scurry away once more. My cheek prickled from the smack to my face, and I was concerned that it stung so much.

"You're gonna pay for that…we were only teasing before but now you've made us angry." The thin man declared, his voice still a little strained from the pain. I shook my head pleadingly as the larger man snatched the collar of my shirt, forcing me up against the wall once more. I flailed hopelessly in his grip to no avail. Tears were streaming freely down my face, stinging the area that had been slapped more. Images of Kaname discovering my bloody and beaten body flashed through my mind. These men couldn't kill me, however they could give me a severe beating…The thought of that sent the adrenaline pumping through my body again. I aimed my pointed heel at the stout man's groin just as I had his friend, however this time he was wise, and seeing my assault, caught my leg, twisting it awkwardly. I yelled loudly at the stabbing pain that erupted as a result.

"Release me!" I demanded through the streams of tears that had claimed my body in a fit of anger and fear. I wrestled with the man holding me hostage, my body begged for me to fight until my last breath. I was on the floor. The men had wrestled me to the floor. I was paralysed now, unable to move beneath the weight of the large man. I suddenly felt an excruciating pain in my side, and was sure I must've cracked a rib upon being flung down on to the floor. I froze as I felt a chubby hand travelling up my top. I slapped at it hard, earning yet another palm to the side of my face. I winced from the pain.

"You're a pretty girl, but you ain't smart for a pureblood." The slender man knelt down beside me, whispering into my ear. My blood ran cold. Vampires. Not simple drunk humans. Artemis. I groped at my thigh, however the man who sat atop me slipped his hand beneath mine, running his sausage like fingers up my leg, causing me to thrash harder.

"What do you want with me?" I choked, unable to keep the sob from my straining voice. My limbs were trembling uncontrollably now. I just wanted to escape…I didn't like the way these men were touching me and speaking to me…a wave of nausea overcame me as the larger man wrapped his hands tightly around my hips, forcing my torso into stillness. My heart was hammering in my chest. Part of me already knew what they were going to do…they would drink the powerful pureblood blood that swam through my veins, now unguarded my Aido or Kaname….after that…shivered in disgust as the man's hand caressed my thigh. After that…I feared the worst…being raped by one of them would be abysmal…I didn't want my first time to be forced upon me by a pair of unfamiliar vampires...however there were two of them, so what would happen then? A loud sob erupted from my body. I didn't want to think of it.

"Come on it ain't so bad, we'll be gentle…" The skinny man snarled, leaning down to my neck and baring his fangs. I thrashed my limbs, desperate to deter him, however the large man pinned my limbs to the ground. I no longer even felt the icy chill of the cobbled stones, not the sting of the cold night air. I simply felt overwhelming panic. It was rising in my stomach, consuming me with each passing minute. I was shrieking loudly, insults, pleas, anything that passed through my mind. Gagging as I felt something wet passing along my neck, I could already taste the vomit that was threatening to escape. His tongue was running along my neck…the same as Zero's had, the same as Kaname's had…I felt a hiss escape from my lips, some primal instinct perhaps. A squeak of alarm was uttered as I felt his fangs against my neck, and the first pinpricks of pain as he bit into my flesh. His fangs were swiftly withdrawn, allowing trickles of blood to ebb to the surface of my skin. A petty thought that crossed my mind as he bit into me…this vampire was better at using his fangs than I was. A pathetic and useless thought to me now.

_Kaname...I'm so sorry…I thought I knew what I was doing…I thought I could take care of myself…but now…_

My tears turned icy cold on my face as the fell silently down my cheeks. I quivered feeling his tongue lapping at the wounds he had made. Casting my mind back I remembered my human days…the days I'd fed Zero with my blood willingly…at first I'd been petrified…however the experience between us had become almost pleasurable…the intimacy between us, the knowledge that I was safe in Zero's arms even if he was taking my life…had I died by Zero's hand…at least I would've died pleasurably. Even when Kaname had taken my blood it hadn't been a chore…it felt good to be held tenderly by the man I loved, to feel our hearts beating in unison as he'd drawn the precious elixir from my body. It was at that moment I truly understood vampires and blood lust…what Kaname had once explained to me seemed crystal clear now. To vampires the drinking of blood was not only a necessity but a pleasure…to devour the blood of your loved one was a precious encounter between two vampires, one that should be cherished. Suddenly I seemed to understand why Kaname had begrudged me giving Zero blood. It was something lovers did as an act of passion or an act of affection…I couldn't help but wonder if Zero knew that. My stomach seemed to flip flop as the vampire lapping at my blood uttered a soft moan. Was pureblood blood really so enticing?

"Please…stop." I muttered softly, unable to be as forceful as I wanted, fear had me in a steely grip and wasn't letting go easily. The men ignored me as if I wasn't even present.

"You there? What are you devouring?" A steely voice echoed through the alleyway, reverberating off the walls and filling my ears like the sweetest mantra imaginable. Someone had noticed the men and was coming to my rescue, whether they knew this or not.

"HELP!" I screamed as loudly as my lungs would allow me. The stout man clamped a meaty hand over my lips, muting me. However, with my arms now free I used all of my available strength to shove him from my body. He toppled over, a look of shock on his face. I hastily arose, however was pulled down to the ground once more, feeling a pair of bony hands wrap around my legs. I winced in pain as my knees collided awkwardly with the cobbled stone. Ignoring the hole in my tights I made another scrabble for freedom, desperately trying to catch a glimpse of my rescuer. The skinny man wrapped his arms tightly around my torso. I caught a glimpse of red, his eyes glowing that eerie red that came hand in hand with bloodlust, however he was quickly dispatched of as a dark shoe made contact with his skull. I watched in disbelief as he reeled back, falling to the ground with a _thud_. I felt a hand slipping around my waist, and was ready to attack when I was hoisted from the ground so that my face dangled above the ground. A flash of silver, a gun was withdrawn.

"Take one more step towards her and I'll destroy you." A familiar voice snarled. I craned my neck to stare into the face of my saviour and gasped. The bloody rose extended towards the vampires, a cruel expression plastered across his face…Zero had come to my rescue.


	19. 19 Tension

**A/N-Whoot finally an update! It's also a LONG chapter it's ALSO got Zeki in and things are heating up XD. Read at our own risk, there is ahem, more mature content nearer the end of the chapter. Yes…Zeki =). Enjoy!**

I marvelled at the man standing before me. He looked more perfect now than he ever had before. The chain that hung loosely from the elevated gun seemed to glint, the gun itself almost desperate to claim its prey of two desolate vampires. That same glint presented itself in Zero's steely eyes, and I could've sworn a red tinge was present, mingling with the familiar lilac. A look of desperate hunger seemed to ebb from him; he reeked of lust and the desire to kill. It unsettled me…however I didn't care. I wished to cling desperately this man whose presence brought me comfort, to hide on him and cower behind him. What a pathetic being I had become. Once upon a time I would've more valiantly taken the vampires on…the coddled pureblood Yuki I was now was a shadow of the former Yuki…I was ashamed. Zero's eyes narrowed to angry slits as his frown intensified.

"What are you still doing here…LEAVE." Zero demanded. I spotted his long slender fingers tightening around the gun. The flesh of his hands turning a shade of white from the intensity with which he squeezed the bloody rose. The two vampires slowly arose from the ground, reluctant to take their leave. On the contrary, they advanced towards us, and I couldn't ignore the wave of panic that inevitably washed over me with each step the vampires took. My palms felt clammy and my heart began to race. My mouth was dry as if it were filled with sand. I physically struggled not to shut my eyes. No. I had to face what was taking place. I silently prayed for Zero's safety….even if he was a hunter could he take on two ravenous vampires alone? And while holding me? I trembled in his arms feeling nauseous.

"You've disturbed our meal…we'd like to have it back" One of the men replied boldly with a snigger. I shivered despite myself, disgusted by the comment as they referred to me like a piece of meat that was to be devoured quickly and without a second thought. I felt Zero's grip on me tighten. The footsteps of the men grew ever louder as they drew nearer, and I waited with baited breath for the inevitable attack that would surely ensue. I shut my eyes, unable to face the suspense.

"I should've known not to bargain with vampires." Zero commented, his voice low and hostile with a hint of impatience mixed with it. I heard the hiss of the two attackers as they presumably launched themselves towards us. I flinched, my heart skipping a beat at the sudden sound of two loud bangs, followed by the clink of bullets hitting the cobbled stones beneath us. The brief scent of smoke, blood and death filled my nostrils before they evaporated completely, leaving me only with the scent of Zero. I hesitantly opened my eyes, surveying the scene before me and finding that both men had vanished, dust the only remnants that the men had ever existed. I felt a heavy feeling in my stomach as if it were being weighed down with lead at the realization life could come to such an abrupt end…even as a pureblood whose life was eternal were I to wish for it to end, or even if the society wished to end it my life could be snuffed out as swiftly as a lighted candle. This left me feeling cold and distant from reality…until Zero began moving, me still tightly in his grip.

I yelped as he strode forward, carelessly dangling me above the ground. I stayed silently, anxiously watching the path he took in silence. I was a little surprised as he knelt down, my face inches from the cold ground as he did so, only to retrieve my discarded holdall along with the my purse. I opened my mouth to protest as he unzipped my bag, only to see him flinging the purse inside before swiftly zipping the bag back up again and hoisting its handles over his shoulder. He continued to walk now, almost as if he was unaware of my presence…perhaps he was ignoring me after that night at the soiree? After a short while I finally managed to summon up the courage to speak to him….but how would I tell him why I had been out on my own? How would I tell him how I'd wandered the streets all day searching for him?

"Zero?" My voice came out as a mere squeak, my heart already galloping in my chest. He didn't reply, leading me to believe he either hadn't heard me or he was ignoring me….I prayed it was the former. "Zero." I repeated a little more loudly with a hint more conviction in my tone. This time, although he did not answer he diverted his route, turning just a little and flinging me a little roughly down on to a wooden bench. I winced, my body still tender from the way in which the vampires had handled it. He glowered harshly down upon me, his gaze even icier than the bench upon which I had been perched.

"What do you think you're playing at? I'd heard rumours that there was a pureblood roaming the streets, and I was told to keep an eye out…but I never expected it to be _you_." Zero's voice was cold, intimidating, almost accusing as he bore into me. I struggled to maintain my gaze, his glower to fierce I longed to turn away from him, to conceal myself from his anger. I opened my mouth to speak. When no sound came out I quickly closed it again, reconsidering my words.

"Do you realise what danger you put yourself in? You could've DIED tonight! Those vampires would've devoured you…that's if you're lucky! That's if they didn't take advantage of you first! Do you know what those beasts would do to a young pureblood out on her own? Especially such a _defenceless_ one." Zero continued. I turned away, staring down into my lap, my hands clasped together as tears began to fall silently. I wasn't sure what was hurting the most. The fact Zero was angry at me…or the fact that had he not appeared I would most probably have been raped and bled dry, left alone to rot in the street. I felt his finger grab my chin roughly, forcing me to face his powerful glare. My lower lip trembled and a sob threatened to emerge.

"Don't you understand? Surely Kaname Kuran wouldn't let you out on your own…I'm taking you home…he's lucky I don't imprison you." He wrapped an arm around my torso once more, lifting me effortlessly from the bench on to my feet. I felt a little melancholy as I felt his arm slip from my waist, instead clasping my arm and roughly dragging me towards the train station. Panic struck me. I didn't want to go home. I had run away for a reason…Zero was that reason. I dug my heels into the gaps between the cobbled stones, desperately trying to deter him from his course, tugging away from his grip.

"No! I don't want to go back! I ran away for a reason!" I cried, wrapping my free hand around his and attempting to pry his fingers from my wrist. He batted at my hand with his own, swivelling around to face me once more, his face the epitome of fury. I shrank back a little at his wild glare, frightened of what he was capable of.

"What might that be princess?" He muttered, his tone thick with frustration. I gave him a desolate look, urging him to stare into my eyes and find the reason for my brash behaviour. I clasped his hand gently in my own free hand, allowing my thumb to stroke the back of his large hand affectionately. His hand lingered in mine for a moment before he yanked it away, disgusted.

"I….I was looking for you. I'm not satisfied with the way things ended that night at the soiree…I love you! I love you and it has nothing to do with Kaname or anyone else, please understand!" He turned away, the same familiar flicker of pain overwhelming his characteristically calm and collected expression. My words seemed to cut him deeply, reopening old wounds…however, if he let me those wounds needn't exist anymore…together we could heal what had taken place a year ago, and with time maybe even heal the wounds inflicted by Shizuka Hio as well.

"I don't want to hear this Yuki!" Zero demanded, still unable to face me. A pang of guilt hit me. To see him so vulnerable wasn't easy…of course doing this was hurting him more…but I wanted to change that. I wanted to change a year's worth of neglect and rebuild the relationship we had once shared.

"Please! Give me a chance! Just one chance! If it doesn't work out then you can do what you like to me, take me back to Kaname, imprison me, even kill me I don't care!" I cried, my voice trembling, my emotions teetering on hysteria. He shook his head, still refusing to face me until I turned his head to look at me, clasping his jaw tightly in my fingertips, guiltily enjoying the feel of his strong jaw in my hand. He sighed deeply, releasing my hand.

"Come on. There's no way there will be a train back this time of night…and the headmaster is running errands…" He informed me, turning away and beginning to pace away from me, leaving me to jog behind him in a bid to catch up. Where was he taking me? I wasn't sure whether to submit to fear or relief. I wasn't being dragged back home…nor was I being taken to the headmaster who would surely force me back into Kaname's arms. However…that left one option. Prison. Would Zero really lock me in a cell deep within the hunter society headquarters? Thoughts of volatile jeering hunters filled my mind. Images of dank poorly lit cells made of jagged edged bricks damp and consumed in mould…myself huddled in a cold and uninviting corner turned the brass key in the iron door, pacing away, leaving me forlorn and humiliated, not to mention petrified. I shook my head quickly. Surely that wasn't something Zero would do, even if he did hate me now…he had been a close friend and confidante once...and perhaps had even loved me.

However, Zero was a skilled and dedicated hunter…he would probably have killed Ichiru had the society demanded it. I blushed guiltily at such a thought…Zero _had_ killed Ichiru…though not for such reasons. He truly was alone now with no relatives left to console or comfort him…I decided to stay silent as I was lead down poorly lit streets. I stayed close behind him, though he seemed intent on keeping a certain distance from me. However, the prospect of running into more vampires sent a thrill of fear through me, and I lingered close to him, arms clasped tightly around myself, tugging my coat more tightly around my quivering form. The streets seemed somewhat more peaceful now…the few streetlamps that dotted the vacant streets seemed to cast a tranquil light down upon the stoned pavement. The Moon, whose glow had seemed eerie and gloomy earlier on, had taken on a more comforting luminosity now as I walked safely in the company of Zero…Zero whom, as a vampire hunter, was probably used to the spooky shadows that lined the alleyways behind houses and shops. I doubted that he was ever caught off guard.

He gruffly tugged me up towards a set of narrow metal steps. I waited for him to mount the steps first, wincing at the screech as if it couldn't support his weight. He flashed me a quick glance as if to make sure I was still following me, spurring me into action. I gingerly grasped the metal handrail, noting the black paint that was peeling off in places, replaced by patches of rust. I took the steps carefully, aware of the ice that had started to form on the surface as the early hours of the morning drew closer. I shivered from the touch of the frosty rail, surprised to see Zero was nearing the top of the stairs. I leapt up the steps as swiftly as I could, not wishing to cause any delay for Zero who made no move to hide his exasperation as he waited for me at the top of the steps. I uttered a quick apology and was acknowledged with a quick grunt as he turned to face the door. I leant over the side of the railing, surveying the silent street below.

"Are you coming in or am I leaving you outside?" Zero questioned, an air of irritation apparent in his tone. I swivelled around to face him, a small blush playing on my cheeks as I stepped awkwardly into the unknown.

The room I entered was dark, however my vampiric eyes quickly adjusted to the change in lighting. I blinked a few times, unable to shake the feeling that I had been in this room before…the room is sparse. A bed is visible in the corner…at first sight it appeared large enough to be a double bed, however the single pillow that sat neatly on the bed was a reminder that the occupier lived alone. A solitary chair sits abandoned beside the metal frame of the bed, a school satchel carelessly tossed on its wooden surface. The plaster of the walls is grubby, and large cracks are abundant around the room. The floorboards creak almost wearily as Zero steps across them. Nearby a dark wooden wardrobe stood, the newest looking item actually in the room, seemingly in good condition from the outside. Turning to the right I spot the makeshift kitchen. The old cooker in the corner with a sorry looking fridge buzzing softly beside it. The countertops appear immaculate…and in fact despite the state of the walls and the used looking furniture I realise that the entire apartment appears to be very hygienic.

Zero shed his coat, flinging it down on the lone chair, gently lowering my holdall down on to the bed before turning to face me.

"The bathroom is in there…clean the blood off your neck…oh, and here, take some of these…you reek of blood." He demanded, tossing a small black box towards me which I struggled to catch, wincing as it almost slipped from my fingers. I stared down at the small square item which had been hurled at me. The school emblem was painted on its surface, and as I pushed the thin lid back I recognised the item as Zero's pill box. I stared blankly at the white tablets contained within it that read, BLIXXXV06έ. I clutched them tightly in my hand, cautiously stepping towards the bathroom.

"I'll turn the shower on for you. Its old…the damn faucet is really stiff." He mumbled, stepping into the bathroom and pacing towards the small square shower in the corner. He swung the door open, grunting slightly as he grappled with the supposedly difficult faucet before a rush of water spurted from the shower head. He withdrew shutting the door and taking his leave.

"The towels are clean so they're fine to use. Use whatever you want." He muttered, lingering a mere moment at the doorframe before pulling it closed with a soft click, informing me that I was alone in the cool bathroom. I stood dumbstruck as I examined the cramped little bathroom. I could hear the patter of the water inside the shower as I paced slowly towards the toilet in the opposite corner of the room. I allowed myself a weak grin noticing both the lid and seat of the toilet had been left up, a blatant signal that this apartment belonged to a bachelor. I tentatively reached out, replacing both to their original position so I could perch upon the edge of the lid, not actually needing to use the toilet, but merely wishing for a place to sit. My fingers trembled as I worked at the laces of my boots, prying them from my feet as tears began to trickle down my cheeks, blurring my vision and making undressing even more difficult. Wearily I tugged the tights from my legs, examining the rips and tears in them and concluding that they were no longer wearable…the holes were beyond repair, so with this in mind I flung them into a metal bin that sat beside the sink before persisting to remove the remainder of my clothes which I folded and placed upon the toilet seat for lack of a better place to keep them.

Coyly I wrapped my arms around my bare chest as if fearful that Zero would be able to catch a glimpse of me through the thin concrete of the tiled walls. Not that I expected he'd even want to catch a glimpse of me. I pried the heavy door of the shower open, eager to encase myself within the privacy of the walls of the shower cubicle. I welcomed the warmth which claimed me as I stepped in, as if the steam were coiling its cloudy arms around me, drawing me in and embracing me. I shivered slightly as the water that had gathered upon the tiled floor snaked its way in between my toes. It was cool, unlike the water which cascaded from the shower. I stepped into the stream, not caring if my hair was drenched in the process. I ran my hands over my aching limbs, washing dirt and blood away from my quickly healing wounds. My fingers found their way up to my neck, lingering over the puncture marks left by the vampire's fangs. These wounds were deep, I could feel as I pressed my fingers against them, wincing in disgust and revulsion as my nail caught on the hole. I swiftly drew my hands away, once again wrapping them around my wet torso and shivering. I could feel the onslaught of tears threatening to fall. I leant against the wall of the shower, sobbing. Deep painful sobs, releasing the emotions that had been spiralling within me since I had left this morning. The emotions that had been mounting during the attack and during my rescue.

_Tap tap tap _

I ceased sobbing, sucking in my breath and listening attentively.

"Yuki…can I come in? I just want to put your bag in here so you can change your clothes…" Zero's voice came muffled and barely audible over the heavy patter of the water, not to mention through the thick glass of the shower door and the bathroom wall as well. I opened my mouth to speak, however only a small croak escaped from my lips. I cleared my throat.

"C-Come in!" I called as loudly as I could to be heard over the steady flow of water. I swiftly concealed myself in the far corner of the petite shower, hiding behind the wall that held the glass door up. I ran my fingers over the cold glass of the door, creating a small window through the condensation and steam through which I could peer. I slipped my arms back around my body, subconsciously defensive as I watched Zero enter. He had averted his eyes to the floor, my holdall clutched in one of his hands. He paced towards the toilet, never allowing his gaze to waver until he reached the porcelain toilet. Seeing my clothes already folded there he moved away, walking back towards the door. I uttered a small groan of irritation as the glass through which I was peering began to steam up again, forcing me to run my fingers of the glass once more. He sighed, placing the bag on the floor beside the door, running a hand through his hair and pausing by the door frame. He seemed to be listening, though for what I didn't know. He lingered for only a moment before exiting once more without even a single glance towards the shower. I felt relieved…almost respectful of him for not granting himself the permission to peek in my direction.

I didn't remain in the shower for long, feeling uncomfortable at the prospect of keeping Zero from using his own bathroom for too long. I fumbled with the faucet, finding it as trying to turn as Zero had mentioned earlier, and in the end opted to leave it running. I'd apologize to Zero when I left the bathroom and would ask him to switch it off. I stepped uncertainly out of the shower, shivering as a gust of cold air washed over my bare form. I snatched a fluffy towel from the rack, my teeth chattering as I hastily dried my body.

"Z-Zero…I-I'm sorry b-but c-c-can't switch the sh-shower off." I called out to him, my voice sounded high and nervous. I tied the towel around my body, irked the long strands of wet hair that clung to my body creating an icy chill. I knelt down beside my bag, rummaging within one of the smaller side pockets for a hair tie. I smiled a little as my fingers gripped the familiar feeling of the hair tie, and as I persisted to tie my hair into a high ponytail.

..

"Zero?" I asked hesitantly, stepping fully clothed out of the bathroom. He sat slumped in the worn wooden chair beside the bed, head in his hands leaning over. At first sight I thought he may be dozing, however at the sound of my voice he lifted his head wearily to face me. I closed the bathroom door softly behind me as if it would make my presence seem less of a burden. He arose slowly, striding casually towards me. I flinched as if I expected him to strike out at me for taking too long.

"Get some sleep. The bed's yours." He spoke with a monotonous tone, addressing me bluntly before entering the bathroom and shutting the door tightly behind him. I felt a sense of isolation…as if he'd abandoned me…Slowly, I dropped my bag down at the end of the bed, staring down at the immaculate cover pulled tightly over the mattress. There was no doubt about it…the bed was designed to be a double bed…however, for whatever reason Zero had made it to appear like a single one…I felt a little guilty as I pulled the cover back, messing up the carefully made blanket. I shivered as the bare skin of my legs made contact with the cool sheet of the bed, and I quickly pulled the cover over myself, huddling beneath it for warmth. I inhaled the familiar and comforting scent of Zero. His scent clung to the sheets, to the pillow and I indulged in it, clinging to it like a safety harness. I shut my eyes tightly, wondering how I could possibly sleep after tonight's events. How could I possibly rest knowing Zero was so close? However, my heavy eyelids contradicted these thoughts, drawing me down into a slumber as I curled my body up tightly to create warmth.

..

My eyelids fluttered lightly at the sound of a door being closed. The soft click suggested to me that the source of the sound had been attempting to keep quiet, so in an attempt to acknowledge this kindness I kept my eyes firmly shut. My head pounded and my eyes stung. I was still weary. I buried my face deep into the folds of the blanket, the scent of Zero reminding me where I was. Groggily I opened my eyes. My eyelids still felt heavy and sore from lack of sleep. I adjusted the blanket so that I was able to peek over the top without drawing attention to myself. A blush engulfed my face, and my entire body suddenly felt hot as my eyes passed over Zero, swiftly I hid my face once more, my heart hammering at the sight I'd just seen. He hadn't exactly been naked…but I hadn't been expecting to see him topless. I allowed myself to take another peek. His back was turned. His back was bare, and glistened with droplets of water, presumably from the shower he had just taken. I assumed that I had only been sleeping for a short while as Zero had only just emerged from the bathroom.

Groggily I stared at his slim form, admiring the shape of his muscles that flexed in his arm as he silently rubbed at his wet hair with a towel. He grunted softly, casting the towel aside over the handle of a cupboard before slumping down on a chair I hadn't noticed earlier on. I guiltily allowed my gaze to wander to his toned chest and stomach, silently impressed by his well-formed features. It wasn't as if I'd never seen Zero topless before…every evening he would barge into the bathroom, stripping down to his pants so that his upper torso was on display. I'd run a towel along his broad shoulders many a time, scolding him for not taking proper care of himself. However…at those times I'd never regarded Zero as anything more than an older brother. Someone I needed to nurture as a family member. Yet times had changed…new emotions had bridged the gap between us, and I couldn't ignore the fact that I found him attractive now. Had my heart ever raced so much before? My body quivered as I watched streaks of water slipping down his chest, soaking the legs of his jeans.

I sat up. Slowly. I tugged the woolly bed-cardigan I had thrown on over my nightgown more tightly around my body, shielding any bare flesh from the cool night air that seeped in through the cracks in the walls. Zero didn't even notice these movements. He continued to sit slumped like a ragdoll against the wall, droplets falling silently from his wet mop of hair. My bare feet touched soundlessly against the wooden floor. The covers fell back allowing me to stand. Still Zero did not look up. I sauntered slowly towards him, noticing his eyes were shut as if he were resting. He seemed to ignore the soft creaks of the floorboards as I advanced towards him, and I drew so close that I could touch him. I hesitated, wondering if it was okay to do this…after all…we were no longer 'siblings', nor were we friends. We were older now, enemies.

I crouched quietly in front of him, gently talking hold of the fluffy towel that hung loosely from his shoulders. His eyes shot open in surprise, the violet appearing more gray in the weak light of the room. I shot him a soft friendly smile, one that you may give an old acquaintance upon seeing them again after a long separation. The towel slipped from his shoulders and I hesitantly began to dry his hair with it. A look of disgust momentarily passed over his handsome face, however he seemed unable to maintain such a look, and it swiftly softened to a more neutral, tolerating look. I scrubbed gently at his thin hair with the towel, observing the bedraggled ends of his fringe that seemed almost transparent in its dampened state. I ran my fingers through it, returning stray strands to their rightful places, doing my best not to make eye contact with him. I felt his warmth breath against my face, could feel his eyes staring blankly at me. The pace with which I worked slowed as I ran my fingers along the strands of his silvery hair, attacking his hair from underneath, starting at the name of his neck. My breath caught in my throat as I began to dab at his shoulders with the towel, guiltily relishing in being able to touch his bare skin. I retreated slightly, resolving to go back to his hair, not liking the feeling that was growing within my stomach as I touched his uncovered flesh.

I ran my fingers through his damp fringe, pushing it back so that I could dry it more easily. I gulped as I drew closer, my fingers trembling as I worked. I teased at his fringe with my fingers, draping the towel over my arm to keep it from becoming a hindrance. I wondered if he could hear the frenzied beating of my heart, could feel the heat radiating from my face, from my body as I touched him. I could feel his eyes trying to catch my gaze, but I pretended not to notice. I opened my mouth to ask him for a comb, however I received much more than a reply. I felt his lips come into contact with my own, and for a moment thought this to be an accident. He kissed me tenderly, and after a moment I realised this was no accident, this embrace had been somewhat intentional. I trembled, allowing the towel to slip from my fingers and drop soundlessly to the floor. We parted for a moment in which he stared deeply into my eyes, drawing me in with his own lavender orbs. I was drowning in his seductive gaze.

A small sound was uttered as his muscular arms snaked around my waist, pulling my body closer to his. A large hand was raised to my shoulders, and he slipped the cardigan I was wearing from them, pushing it down my arms so that it fell from my body, leaving me wearing only the silky nightgown. I muttered something incomprehensible but was silenced by his lips. My body quivered, wasn't this what I'd wanted? Wasn't this what I'd been expecting from the moment I'd stepped out of bed? From the moment I'd sauntered towards him, purposely allowing my hips to sway just a little more than they would naturally in an attempt to attract his attention? Wasn't this the desired affect I'd expected from running my finger daintily over his wet skin? I shut my eyes tightly, allowing myself to kiss him back with more passion than he had originally given me. My hands found their way back to his neck, massaging his nape, running my fingers through his tousled hair. I still remained crouched on the floor, I felt the gentle brush of my hip against his inner thigh, sending a fire through my body with this forbidden touch. Had I purposely made such a gesture or had it been an accident? He grunted. I was being hoisted from the floor into his lap. His legs remained open as they had when I'd sat perched between them, forcing me to drape a leg over each of his thighs for support, leaving them dangling over the back of the stool.

"Z-Zero…" I muttered, meaning to tell him how awkward I felt with my legs parted around his torso, however he pulled me closer, forcing his mouth over mine once more. I shivered as his hand travelled up the small of my back, his fingers danced over the curve of my waist, and I uttered a small moan as he ran a hand over my hip. Had Kaname-sama ever touched me so erotically? Has his passion ever ebbed so clearly through the pores of his fingers? Through the movement of his lips? My hips were on fire with his touch and my whole body seemed to burn with desire for Zero. His zealous lips wandered from my mouth, his tongue tracing a line down my neck sending a shiver of ecstasy through my entire heated body. He was kissing my neck softly, allowing his tongue to wander its surface. I moaned softly in response, letting my head loll back to allow him greater access. He sucked the skin of my neck as if attempting to draw the blood without piercing me with his fangs…

"Zero….take…take my blood." I whispered hoarsely. Obediently I felt the scrape of his fangs against my neck. I remembered what I'd learned earlier about vampires and blood…this was the most precious gift I could give Zero. More pleasurable than sexual contact could ever be for a vampire…my blood was what would satisfy Zero's longings. He lingered before pulling away.

"Is this what you think I want from you?" He asked accusingly, his tone husky and low. I tipped my head upright to face his glower, his arms were still wrapped tightly around my waist. I steadied myself by holding onto his arms, squeezing the muscles tightly. My heart skipped a beat. Perhaps Zero didn't understand.

"No…" I muttered softly, suddenly feeling the warmth of passion ebb from my body as if being doused by an icy shower.

"I never wanted this. What I wanted were these gentle hands…" He mumbled, gently prying my hand from his bicep and placing it against his warm cheek. I blushed. I could feel the blood rushing through his face as he spoke. "…your kind smile…to feel the touch of your lips…never your blood. Only the beast within me wants that…" He continued, a tone of revulsion present as he spoke about his vampiric side. He clutched my hand tightly in his own as if I would leave him at any moment. My heart swelled with his words…he loved me…he still loved me…perhaps he'd never stopped…

"I…I wasn't trying to make you feel bad…I only thought…sharing my blood was the ultimate way to show you my affection…when those vampires attacked me earlier I realised…that for a vampire sharing blood is more than satisfying an urge…it's the deepest form of affection? Isn't it?" I asked, blushing as I confessed what I had discovered earlier. I stroked his cheek with my fingers, watching his pained expression distort into a look of anger. My heart fluttered. I'd said the wrong thing. I always said the wrong thing.

"That's exactly what a vampire would say…Yuki…I believed that perhaps there was still a chunk of humanity left within you…that inside you was the same innocent girl I fell in love with…but if that's all you want from me…then clearly I'm wrong." He turned away, unable to face me, his voice trembling with some unknown emotion. I trembled, unable to believe I had committed such a blunder. I shook my head violently. I didn't want that. I wasn't lusting for his blood. I wanted him. I wanted him in the human sense of wanting. I wanted him romantically, needed him as a companion. I forced myself upon him, forcing my lips on his, prying his lips open with my impassioned tongue. He yielded quickly, his body frozen as I wrapped my legs tightly around his torso, running my hands along the bare flesh of his back. Perhaps I wasn't the same innocent Yuki anymore…but perhaps that wasn't because I'd become a vampire…it was inevitable that either way my innocent mind would be filled with thoughts of lust and passion at some point…perhaps the vampiric blood in my veins had merely sped up the process.

Our tongues wrestled fervently with one another, each attempting to dominate the other. I felt my body being hoisted from his lap. I broke away, watching as he hastily carried me over to the bed upon which he flung me. I lay on my back in shock for a moment, anticipating him to take his leave with some snide remark about my pureblood nature. However, instead I was pleasantly surprised to feel his weight upon the bed, see his body looming over me. My heart raced in my chest, pounding so ferociously against my ribs I feared it would surely break out. He straddled me, leaning down and continuing to kiss me as furiously as he had on the stool. His hands found their way up the fabric of my nightgown, and he squeezed my hips a little more forcefully than I would've liked. I lifted my arms above my head allowing him to pull the nightgown from my body, and he tossed it down on the floor beside the bed.

"Show me how much you love me Yuki. In the most human way possible." He hissed in my ear, sending a thrill of fear through my entire body.


	20. 20 The Most Forbidden Act M

**A/N- PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE! This is important! Someone requested that I make two versions of this chapter as there is mature content in this particular chapter, that's why it has an 'm' for mature =). This is the 'uncensored' version, sexual themes are present in this chapter so please read at your own risk! Lots of Zeki for you to enjoy haha! I hope it's okay! Enjoy!**

"W-what?" I squeaked in response. It wasn't that I hadn't been expecting the two of to end up in some passionate embrace before the night was through…but I hadn't anticipated to hear him ask me so brazenly, almost arrogantly to sleep with him. I'd always expected Zero to whisper apologetically in my ear 'just this once…' and for me to give into him as if we were both falling from grace, to do the deed and only to regret it once it was done, as I lay satisfied in his arms. I didn't want it this way. I crossed my hands over my chest as if Zero could see through the bra I wore.

"Sex, Yuki." He murmured, running a finger along the inside of my thigh sending a chill through my body. He kissed my neck, softly, gently as if he wasn't in any rush to get to what he wanted. I felt tears threatening to sting my eyes. No. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. I could feel his heated breath against my neck as he nipped it lightly, playfully. A loud sob erupted from my body, and self loathingly I began to cry. How childish…I thought…how childish of me to string him along only to get too frightened the second we became serious. I felt him withdraw from my neck, I felt his weight disappear from above me. I sobbed harder, believing I'd wounded his pride, driven him away with my immature wave of tears. I felt his fingers at the corners of my eyes, wiping the tears away. I felt his arms around me as he cradled my body like a parent would comfort a weeping child.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry for scaring you…I…I didn't intend to ask so cruelly…" He whispered in my ear, running his fingers through my knotted ponytail. I tilted my head to stare up at him. His expression was calm, and no malice was present. Instead a guilty look had replaced the seductive one that had been present only moments ago. I shook my head, burying my face in his bare chest.

"Sorry. The moment I return from school tomorrow I'll take you home." He promised. My blood ran cold, and with this comment I pried myself from his tight grasp so that I could face him. He raised a questionable eyebrow in response.

"Please don't! I ran away so I could be with you! I…I didn't mean to get upset…I only thought that I'd made you angry because of the blood comment…please Zero…I love you…I…" I shook my head, unable to keep my quavering voice steady any longer as the tears streamed silently down my cheeks. He was embracing me again, steadying my body as sobs forced themselves out. He was kissing me again. Slowly, tenderly. I kissed back, letting him wipe my fallen tears away from my face.

"Yuki…have an affair with me." He whispered quietly in my ear. My body tensed as his words. An affair. An affair is something deceitful…something that takes place in romance movies and books, when two people decide to disregard the feelings of their husband, boyfriend, wife or girlfriend so that they can experience what life had been like had they taken another route and allowed themselves to be with the one they wanted all along. His lips depart from mine, though I'm still being held firmly in his grip. I mull this over…could I do such a thing to Kaname? To Zero? To myself? I feel his hand in between my thighs, caressing me gently. I throw my head back and utter a soft moan in response to his touch. "Yuki…" my name sounds exquisite on his tongue, he nips my lower lip playfully, continuing to move his fingers sending a wave of rapture through my lower body. He knows what he's doing, and I'm powerless against his touch. I nod swiftly, automatically, unable to think of anything else but Zero. He smirks mischievously at me.

"Right answer." He chuckled, his voice as rich as gold as he continues to tease me. He's on top of me. His hands working at the bare flesh of my body. I notice his jeans are already unbuttoned. They sit low on his hips, revealing to me much more than I'd expected to see. I allow him to unclasp my bra and discard it swiftly. Allow him to hook his thumbs at the waist of his jeans and tug them swiftly from his body, a blush spreading across my face, heating it up as I notice he hadn't been wearing underwear beneath his jeans. My heart seemed to knock loudly against my chest, so hard it hurt as I gazed at Zero's bare form, as my innocent eyes passed over parts of Zero's anatomy I'd never anticipated I would see. I was unable to keep the blush from my cheeks, and was sure it had spread along my entire body as he leaned down to kiss my chest. He captured another moan from my mouth, stopping it from reaching the surface of my lips as he kissed me once more.

"Yuki…" He murmured against me, his voice thick with need. I shut my eyes tightly feeling his fingers pulling at the waistband of my underwear. I flinched, shutting my eyes tightly and automatically resting my hand over his to deter him. However, after a few moments of breathing deeply I allowed him to remove them, leaving me completely naked beneath him. My hands seemed to waver over my own body, uncertain where needed the most covering. He chuckled softly, taking hold of my wrists and pinning them down against the warm sheets.

"Amazing what a year can do…" He whispered, nipping the lobe of my ear, his words filling me with surprise and embarrassment, my stomach knotted at his words. He grinned playfully down at me.

"You think I haven't noticed?" He questioned, his voice husky and low, his index finger trailing over the curve of my hip, past my waist and up to the soft swell of my breast. I shivered at his erotic touch, my mouth felt limp and I couldn't seem to form an answer. How could he possibly remain so calm? My heart hammered loudly in my ears, the rapidity of each beat astonishing my senses. His mischievous smile sent a chill through my body, but also seemed to awaken something primal within me, something that understood entirely what he wanted. What I wanted. He was doing this on purpose.

His mouth clamped down on my own again, claiming me as his own, and before long it was happening. He was inside me, his hips thrusting swiftly as if to the beat of some far off melody that I was deaf to. I clung to his back, wincing at the pain that had come so swiftly with his sudden infiltration. The scent of my own blood filled my nostrils. My eyes widened in fear, the recognition that the blood was mine horrifying me but seeming to spur him on. I clung to his back, digging my nails deep into his flesh, my body trembling as we committed the most sinful act of all…breaking the last barrier between our species we could possibly cross…breaking the last barrier between the two of us that we could possibly break. I could feel tears of pain of relief, of a myriad of emotions cascading down my cheeks, soaking the sheets and mixing with my blood. It didn't feel entirely dreadful…I panted heavily, desperately urging myself to enjoy what it was that lovers did. I cried out as he seemed to delve deeper, causing me more discomfort. My nails hooked desperately among the sheets, my knuckles burning white from the pressure with which I clutched at the thin sheath of fabric. Zero froze, the sweat reaming down his bare back from the exertion. I could tell he still wasn't satisfied, his eyes glazed as if in the sweetest of trances, and his once lilac eyes had taken on a startling crimson glow. I yelped, pain engulfing my lower body and overthrowing the sense of pleasure I had felt before the infiltration.

"D-Does it hurt?" He questioned me, his voice gruff with lust and need. I nodded, burying my head in his shoulder, feeling nauseous and guilty...guilty for being here, for burdening him, for doing this… He kissed the top of my head, pulling my body into a more comfortable position for the both of us. I grimaced as he slipped further in, invading me further. He kissed my lips slowly as he had before, comforting me as my body adjusted to this unfamiliar invasion, however he didn't cease, and I felt my nails penetrating the warm flesh of his back as if the pressure would draw my mind away from the pain. He appeared to be blind to the pain I was inflicting and continued to thrust into me.

Though it was hurting me I could clearly see Zero was in ecstasy, his sensuous eyes glazed over with pleasure. I trembled, feeling a little guilty that I couldn't appreciate the act as much as he, but it was a comfort to stare deep into his lilac orbs, and as my body began to adapt to the intrusion I began to enjoy the deceitful pleasure we were undertaking. I released the tangled sheets from my iron grip, and allowed my hands to explore, wander up Zero's bare torso and then to his muscular arms. The silence seemed to add to our haste, as if we were both a little frightened of being caught committing such a taboo…a pureblood and a vampire hunter. My arms snaked around his neck, and shutting my eyes I allowed myself to indulge fully in the act, my limbs quivering as a loud moan involuntarily crept up my throat and out of my mouth. I ran my fingers through his hair that was still damp, though I couldn't tell if it was with sweat or water from the shower….His fingers teased my hips, and he nipped my lower lip playfully between his grunts and groans of passion that seemed to be growing in volume as the pleasure mounted between us. I threw my head back, crying out, desperately trying to find some sort of release for the pressure that was swelling in my stomach.

"I-I'm sorry…" I mumbled, astonished at how different the lilt to my voice was, my husky tone replicating Zero's. He merely acknowledged my apology with another moan, and I could feel the frustration ebbing from him as he accelerated the pace with which he thrust into me. I shivered, listening to the sound of his breath, he was panting heavily now, and I could feel with every pump of our racing hearts we were drawing closer to the finale that would pull us both over the edge. I felt his name slipping from my mouth in something like a steady chant, something I could latch on to and repeat as a way of easing the pressure that was building rapidly in my lower body. I could hear him mumbling what sounded like my name as a response, perhaps just as uncertain as me how to cope with the ecstasy that was ready to bubble over and explode in my stomach.

I was tearing at the sheets again. My nails ripping the fabric with the force. My voice ringing loudly in my ears with every moan that slipped from my lips. I could feel tears surface, brimming over the rim of my eyes. I clenched my teeth, feeling the sting of my fangs pricking my skin, but still it didn't bring me the release I craved. His hands clasped tightly on my hips, sending pain shooting through my body, however such pain could not rival the excitement and passion I was feeling at this moment. He was keeping me still as he picked up speed, moving at what seemed to me like an inhuman speed, uttering a single audible moan of rapture as I finally felt the ultimate gratification spread through my lower body, swimming through me and sending me over the edge. A loud gasp was emitted as I felt him release himself into me, a sensation that shocked but also filled me with the ultimate satisfaction, one that I had never expected to feel before.

He loomed above me, a look of mild shock passing between the two of us as the cloud of desire and passion lifted, leaving us alone with the realisation of our actions. I felt him withdraw from me, and he lowered himself down beside me, his chest rising and falling with fatigue, his luminous eyes never leaving mine for a second. We both lay on our sides, simply staring deep into one another's eyes, unable to speak or even move as the feeling of dread found its way into my heart. It seemed we had both wanted it to happen…had believed it would…but now as we exchanged stares it seemed that neither of us could believe we'd actually fulfilled the dark and forbidden desire in our hearts. He extended his hand, hesitating a little before running it over my hip. I opened my mouth to speak but couldn't find the words, so instead shut my eyes, willing sleep to consume me, to consume the shame and guilt that were only just beginning to surface. Dawn would soon arrive, forcing me to face up to my own carelessness and mistakes…but now I felt weary. As weary as I had been earlier…I was much more so now, the act of love leaving my mind and body completely drained.

I briefly acknowledged the feel of muscular arms snaking around my waist, the sensation of my body being tugged closer towards Zero's as I felt his bare skin against mine…warmth as the discarded cover was retrieved and yanked over the two of us, perhaps in a bid to disguise the sinful act that had just taken place.


	21. 20 The Most Forbidden Act T

**A/N- PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE! This is important! Someone requested that I make two versions of this chapter as there is mature content in this particular chapter. This is the 'censored' version of the chapter for those of you who aren't comfortable with reading the uncensored version, that's why it has a 'T' for teen…I hope this is censored enough =/. Enjoy! I hope its okay!**

"W-what?" I squeaked in response. It wasn't that I hadn't been expecting the two of to end up in some passionate embrace before the night was through…but I hadn't anticipated to hear him ask me so brazenly, almost arrogantly to sleep with him. I'd always expected Zero to whisper apologetically in my ear 'just this once…' and for me to give into him as if we were both falling from grace, to do the deed and only to regret it once it was done as I lay satisfied in his arms. I didn't want it this way. I crossed my hands over my chest as if Zero could see through the bra I wore.

"Sex, Yuki." He murmured, running a finger along the inside of my thigh sending a chill through my body. He kissed my neck, softly, gently as if he wasn't in any rush to get to what he wanted. I felt tears threatening to sting my eyes. No. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. I could feel his heated breath against my neck as he nipped it lightly, playfully. A loud sob erupted from my body, and self loathingly I began to cry. How childish…I thought…how childish of me to string him along only to get too frightened the second we became serious. I felt him withdraw from my neck, I felt his weight disappear from above me. I sobbed harder, believing I'd wounded his pride, driven him away with my immature wave of tears. I felt his fingers at the corners of my eyes, wiping the tears away. I felt his arms around me as he cradled my body like a parent would comfort a weeping child.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry for scaring you…I…I didn't intend to ask so cruelly…" He whispered in my ear, running his fingers through my knotted ponytail. I tilted my head to stare up at him. His expression was calm, and no malice was present. Instead a guilty look had replaced the seductive one that had been present only moments ago. I shook my head, burying my face in his bare chest.

"Sorry. The moment I return from school tomorrow I'll take you home." He promised. My blood ran cold, and with this comment I pried myself from his tight grasp so that I could face him. He raised a questionable eyebrow in response.

"Please don't! I ran away so I could be with you! I…I didn't mean to get upset…I only thought that I'd made you angry because of the blood comment…please Zero…I love you…I…" I shook my head, unable to keep my quavering voice steady any longer as the tears streamed silently down my cheeks. He was embracing me again, steadying my body as sobs forced themselves out. He was kissing me again. Slowly, tenderly. I kissed back, letting him wipe my fallen tears away from my face.

"Yuki…have an affair with me." He whispered quietly in my ear. My body tensed as his words. An affair. An affair is something deceitful…something that takes place in romance movies and books, when two people decide to disregard the feelings of their husband, boyfriend, wife or girlfriend so that they can experience what life had been like had they taken another route and allowed themselves to be with the one they wanted all along. His lips depart from mine, though I'm still being held firmly in his grip. I mull this over…could I do such a thing to Kaname? To Zero? To myself? I feel his hand in between my thighs, caressing me gently. I throw my head back and utter a soft moan in response to his touch. "Yuki…" my name sounds exquisite on his tongue, he nips my lower lip playfully, continuing to move his fingers sending a wave of rapture through my lower body. He knows what he's doing, and I'm powerless against his touch. I nod swiftly, automatically, unable to think of anything else but Zero. He smirks mischievously at me.

"Right answer." He chuckled, his voice as rich as gold as he continues to tease me. He's on top of me. His hands working at the bare flesh of my body. I notice his jeans are already unbuttoned. They sit low on his hips, revealing to me much more than I'd expected to see. I allow him to unclasp my bra and discard it swiftly. Allow him to hook his thumbs at the waist of his jeans and tug them swiftly from his body, a blush spreading across my face. My heart seemed to knock loudly against my chest, so hard it hurt as I gazed at Zero's bare form, as my innocent eyes passed over parts of Zero's anatomy I'd never anticipated I would see. I was unable to keep the blush from my cheeks, and was sure it had spread along my entire body as he leaned down to kiss me, his lips impassioned, his mouth warm and inviting. He captured another moan from my mouth, stopping it from reaching the surface of my lips as he kissed me once more.

"Yuki…" He murmured against me, his voice thick with need. I shut my eyes tightly feeling his fingers pulling at the waistband of my underwear. I flinched, shutting my eyes tightly and automatically resting my hand over his to deter him. However, after a few moments of breathing deeply I allowed him to remove them, leaving me completely naked beneath him. My hands seemed to waver over my own body, uncertain where needed the most covering. He chuckled softly, taking hold of my wrists and pinning them down against the warm sheets.

"Amazing what a year can do…" He whispered, nipping the lobe of my ear, his words filling me with surprise and embarrassment, my stomach knotted at his words. He Grinned playfully down at me.

"You think I haven't noticed?" He questioned, his voice husky and low, his eyes passing over the bare flesh of my body, lingering on the areas that men supposedly savour the most. I shivered at his touch, my mouth felt limp and I couldn't seem to form an answer. How could he possibly remain so calm? My heart hammered loudly in my ears, the rapidity of each beat astonishing my senses. His mischievous smile sent a chill through my body, but also seemed to awaken something primal within me, something that understood entirely what he wanted. What I wanted. He was doing this on purpose.

His mouth clamped down on my own again, claiming me as his own, and before long I realised I could no longer tell where the boundaries between us were, if there were any at all. I seemed to be in a daze as something completely human took over the two of us, something that had perhaps been growing between us ever since that fateful day the headmaster had brought Zero home with him…and with every new endeavour I seemed to understand Zero more clearly than I ever had before, bridging whatever gap had grown between us during our time apart. As the ecstasy increased between us any guilt or shame that had engulfed me seemed to ebb away as Zero and I became one with one another.

My weary limbs quivered, my mind and body completely spent. I allowed my limbs to relax against the thin sheet that lay beneath me, its fabric drenched in my own sweat. My eyes widened as my gaze passed over the thin rips I had inflicted on the tangled sheets where my nails had clung to them in desperation and passion. I ran my fingers gently over my stomach, as if trying to trace where exactly it was I'd felt Zero release himself into me, a sensation that had shocked my senses, but also filled me with the ultimate satisfaction, one that I had never anticipated could feel so completely divine. I shut my eyes for a few moments, listening intently to the soft pounding of my heart in my ears as it began to decelerate and my head stopped spinning with a myriad of thoughts.

He still loomed above me, a look of mild shock passing between the two of us as the cloud of desire and passion lifted, leaving us alone with the realisation of our actions. I felt him withdraw from me, and he lowered himself down beside me, his chest rising and falling with fatigue, his luminous eyes never leaving mine for a second. We both lay on our sides, simply staring deep into one another's eyes, unable to speak or even move as the feeling of dread found its way into my heart. It seemed we had both wanted it to happen…had believed it would…but now as we exchanged stares it seemed that neither of us could believe we'd actually fulfilled the dark and forbidden desire in our hearts. He extended his hand, hesitating a little before running it over my hip. I opened my mouth to speak but couldn't find the words, so instead shut my eyes, willing sleep to consume me, to consume the shame and guilt that were only just beginning to surface. Dawn would soon arrive, forcing me to face up to my own carelessness and mistakes…but now I felt weary. As weary as I had been earlier…I was much more so now, the act of love leaving my mind and body completely drained.

I briefly acknowledged the feel of muscular arms snaking around my waist, the sensation of my body being tugged closer towards Zero's as I felt his bare skin against mine…warmth as the discarded cover was retrieved and yanked over the two of us, perhaps in a bid to disguise the sinful act that had just taken place.


	22. 21 The Morning After

**A/N-S****orry for the long wait! I hope everyone had a great Christmas! Anyway this chapter felt a little strange to write since it's been a while since I wrote the last one…I hope it came out okay…I was a little worried I'd written Yuki out of character so I hope I've done a decent job! Anyway, enjoy!**

The sound of creaking bedsprings dragged me mercilessly away from the dreamless sleep I had been indulging in. I frowned inwardly, suddenly feeling colder than I had been before…this factor contributing to my awakening. I groped blindly for the thick quilt, and feeling its soft fabric in my fingers I pulled it more tightly around my body. However I couldn't help but shiver, finding I was still much colder than I had been before I'd awoken. I huddled beneath the thick blanket, shivering, but desperately praying for sleep to claim me once more. My sharp vampiric hearing seemed to latch on to any sound made, no matter how silent it seemed to be, continuing to pull me away from the sanctity of unconsciousness. I allowed my eyes to flutter open, my eyesight blurry and my eyelids heavy and sore. I attempted to lift my head slightly from the soft, plump pillow however, my groggy head hammered with even this slight movement. My body felt limp and weary from lack of sleep, and I winced slightly as I curled my limbs tightly into a foetal position, irritated and a little surprised at how much my hips and back ached. I registered the fact my body seemed to be in pretty bad shape but I couldn't remember why. I ignored the thought, deciding that more sleep would remedy my ailments and drew my knees up more tightly against my chest, allowing myself to drown in tranquil thoughts.

However, the sounds emanating from around the room kept my mind awake, desperately grappling to recall what had taken place yesterday. The sound of chair legs scraping softly against wooden floorboards caused me to open my eyes once more. I ran my hands along my bare arms in an attempt to create some form of warmth. Footsteps, someone with bare feet padding softly across the wooden floorboards that creaked lightly with their weight. My groggy mind began to spur into action, and fragments of the previous day began to filter back into my sleepy memory. I clutched the blanket tightly remembering I had fled the Kuran mansion…I had come looking for Zero…and found him after being attacked by two loathsome vampires…two vampires who had swiftly met their end upon Zero's arrival…and then…we'd returned here. My breath caught in my throat as images of the previous night's events struck me like a mountain of bricks. Memories of Zero's seductive lilac eyes, of my fingers sliding through his tangled hair, of my body pressed against his. Sitting bolt upright I drew a sharp intake of breath. How had I forgotten?

Zero turned to face me, his expression slightly startled as his eyes rested upon me as if he hadn't expected me to be in his bed. However, his expression swiftly changed to one of mischief as his gaze travelled downward from my face, and I gasped realizing that the thick cover which had been concealing my nudity had slipped down revealing a little more than I'd expected. Flustered, I quickly drew the cover up over my exposed chest, desperately trying to mask the look of shame that must have plastered my face. I felt his weight upon the mattress as he perched beside me, my body suddenly felt warm as he extended a hand towards me, brushing stray strands of hair out of my eyes, allowing me to see more clearly. Looking up at him I noticed he was already dressed in his Cross Academy uniform, and I felt a little melancholy as my eyes wandered over the familiar white stripes that adorned the black fabric of the uniform. He leaned in, cradling the back of my head with his large hand and pressed his lips gently over mine, barely allowing them to brush the surface. I felt my face prickle with the familiar heat that comes with embarrassment and reluctantly met his gaze.

"I'm leaving for school in an hour." He told me, his face lingering mere inches away from mine so that I could feel his warm breath against my lips. I shivered a little, his breath carried a mild scent of mint which I found rather pleasant. I drew a little closer, guiltily relishing the idea of kissing his forbidden lips once more, his breath almost enticing as it tickled my cheeks. My head still span, and without thinking I rested my head on his shoulder, inhaling the scent of his neck, staring at the familiar tattoo that greeted me as my body began to awaken…I opened my mouth slightly, shutting my eyes and drawing close to his neck. I could hear the sound of his blood rushing through his veins, and I realised that for an entire year my whole body had been desperately yearning for the salty liquid that cascaded through his body. It was beastly as Zero had said…It wasn't necessarily for nourishment…it was a dark desire…one that was quenched merely to bring pleasure.

"Yuki…what do you plan on doing? Kaname Kuran is probably searching for you as we speak…surely this is one of the first places he'll look." Zero spoke solemnly, and as I withdrew from the comfort of his shoulder I noticed the faraway look on his face as he stared into the distance. My fingers interlaced with his, and I squeezed his hand tightly in a bid to withdraw him from his thoughts. He turned to face me slowly, almost reluctantly. I felt my heart picking up speed. I hadn't endured so much the previous day to simply run back home to my older brother. I shivered slightly. My older brother. Kaname-sama was…my limbs felt like lead, and I allowed my weary body to sink back down into the sheets of the bed. I dug my nails into the fabric beneath my palms, running my fingers over the creases and folds of the fabric, as if each thread that strung the sheet together held some dark and romantic secret within its fibres. I shut my eyes, my head was pounding, my heartbeat throbbing painfully in my ears. My body was imbued with longings and emotions. Shame, fear, desire, love, all for Zero. I felt him leaning down, his lips gracing my cheek.

"Zero…" I mumbled. I had no idea what I should do. I was frightened all of a sudden. Of course Zero was right. Kaname would be searching for me. As we spoke, could probably sense my presence in this place. My palms felt clammy, and I balled them into fists, Kaname would surely be able to sense my presence…maybe even smell me…and if that were the case I was certain my body wreaked of treason. The sweat that reamed down my bare skin only enhancing the crime rather than washing it away. Zero was looking away now, unaware that my scarlet eyes were locked on his lavender ones, unaware for what seemed like the first time ever I could actually see fear and uncertainty lurking beneath the lavender oceans that were Zero's sensuous eyes. Perhaps he was frightened of what Kaname might do to him if he discovered what Zero and I had done…or more to the point, more frightened of what Kaname would assume _he_ had forced me to do. I bit down hard on my lip, causing a painful throbbing sensation I chose to ignore. Kaname would never want to believe that I would actually allow Zero to make love to me…if he could somehow pass it off as rape he would probably choose that alternative…My head was spinning again, I was vaguely aware that Zero was muttering something to me but I simply nodded in response, not even absorbing his words. I wrapped my arms tightly around my body as if to conceal our sin. I had to bathe, remove any evidence of the act, pretend it never happened, if not then Kaname would…

I stumbled out of Zero's bed, or more accurately fell, causing Zero to spur into action, catching me in his arms before I hit the floor. What a cliché I thought to myself, the useless girl unable to stand the pressure of her lover finding out the truth…I clutched his upper arms tightly for support, pulling myself to my feet with the use of Zero as a support. My legs quivered violently, what was wrong with me? He was speaking to me again, I was staring up at his face. His soft lips were moving, the scent of mint carried by his breath teased my senses, however I couldn't seem to grasp what he was saying. I shook my head, weakly trying to tell him I couldn't hear him. My eyes darted towards the bathroom. I had to shower, destroy the evidence. My eyes flitted to the bed sheets. He'd smell it on there too. My blood, our sweat.

"Z-Zero, the bed sheet!" I cried out, tears forming in the corners of my eyes. He frowned in slight irritation not understanding the significance of my words. "The bed sheet!" I repeated, as if this would somehow drill into his head what it was I meant to tell him.

"The evidence, we have to get rid of it or Kaname will-" He pressed a finger to my lips, silencing me as the first sobs that come with crying began to erupt from my body. He pulled me close, clutching me tightly as if I were a comfort to him, a life raft. His arms pressed down so hard against my back I thought he might snap me in half. He was frightened too…we both were. So…did that mean we regretted what we'd done? I clutched more tightly to the black fabric of his uniform. Did I regret it? I didn't want to…for a long time now I'd pondered to myself as I'd lay in bed at night if such an act could somehow save Zero's soul, somehow reverse the hands of time and prevent his fall to level E. It had been one of those guilty yet nagging feelings…Somehow I'd known it was my own guilty desire to have Zero ravish me…it had nothing to do with prolonging his life…It had seemed so romantic, the idea of it…the 'ultimate' act of love saving his life…how I expected such a thing to work I'd never understand, perhaps I hadn't…perhaps I just liked the idea of the forbidden act, the one I'd never truly understood until I'd partaken in it…the one I'd refused Kaname…My stomach knotted tightly. How could I have been so spiteful? To utter the words 'I'm not ready…' so meekly to Kaname-sama as if he were some monster trying to steal something precious from me? Yet I so readily gave into Zero…I felt such a pang of revulsion towards myself I was unsure of how to react.

"The sheets…" I muttered again, almost incoherently as I grappled with my innermost thoughts. Zero's fingers wandered up back almost absently as he stared at the bed, perhaps recalling the previous night's events. I felt queasy with fear and anxiety. As frightening as the act itself had been, the aftermath was worse, the prospect of being branded as unfaithful by Kaname made my head spin and my stomach knot. What would the headmaster say if he knew the two he had watched over so carefully as children had committed such a sinful act? I could imagine the disappointment in his amber eyes. I released Zero's uniform from my iron grip, stumbling towards the bathroom once more. Zero, seeming to awaken from his trance spurred into action, moving towards the bed and flinging the cover off, frowning slightly as his eyes passed over the sheets. I clutched my stomach, feeling nauseous at the thought of my own blood stained into the mattress and swiftly, stealing myself into the bathroom as if it was some sort of safe sanctuary.

I stood for a few moments in the middle of the bathroom, cold and confused, swaying unsteadily on the spot as if I were about to faint. I wrapped my arms around my trembling form, staring into the mirror across from me, the young girl staring back appeared bemused and frightened. I cast my mind back remembering that night I had returned from the soiree. Zero and I had gone too far then as well…I recalled that evening when I had hastily scoured at my body with soap, urging Zero's scent to cease clinging to my skin and disappear like a distant memory. I had surveyed myself in the mirror that night, relishing vainly in the act as I had finally noticed the soft curves and differences that made me a woman. Now, however as I stared at the same woman I came to realise I didn't even recognize her anymore. My reflection staring back at me seemed to have reverted back to a child almost, the teary eyes, the expression that one may refer to as 'a deer caught in headlights'. I'd been a fool to think I could handle this…all of this…running away, finding Zero. I was not the cool mature woman I had believed I was. All I saw was a silly teenage girl who had made a dreadful mistake. I turned away, disgusted with what I saw. A selfish unfaithful little girl who had no regard for Zero or Kaname's emotions.

I took to the shower, my trembling fingers fumbled with the shower's faucet, inwardly cursing at Zero's words the previous night about the faucet being old and difficult to open. I tugged at it, my fingers slipping and fumbling on its metallic surface, my entire body quaking with fear. I swore softly, uncharacteristically under my breath at the stubbornness of the rusted faucet, emitting a small shriek of fury as what I assumed to be some of my pureblood strength was released, finally forcing the faucet into position with trembling hands. I shivered as the water hit me, running cold at first, sending a chill through my weary body. Here I was again I thought as my fingers grasped the bar of soap, running it over my bare skin, passing it over my stomach hastily, almost frightened to allow my hands to wander any lower as if I would find remnants of what had taken place last night. I scrubbed my body hard with the soap, as hysterical as I had been the night of the soiree, perhaps more so.

My head span and my stomach summersaulted as a dangerous thought crept into my mind. I faltered, still clutching the soap like a lifeline I sunk to the tiled floor as my legs gave way. I stared mindlessly watching as the soap polluted the clear water, causing bubbles to emerge, cascading down into the drain. How could I remove all of the evidence? I doubled over on my hands and knees weeping and choking. How could I remove all of the evidence when it was inside of me? Surely Kaname would smell that, and there was no possible way to cleanse that. I could shower and scour my body all I wanted until my skin was red and sore, but what could I do about that? I was retching as the water pelted my back like bullets condemning me. Panic had overwhelmed my body and I retched ones more, my stomach churning fitfully.

I flinched as I heard the bathroom door, heavy footsteps against the tiled floor, a dark shadow looming against the glass of the shower door. The steam cascading from the shower head had clouded the door, making the figure standing there seem more like a shadow than a human being. Fear gripped me as I coughed harder, longing to throw up whatever was causing my stomach to churn so violently, but realising there was nothing in there to bring up. I hadn't eaten in hours. I cried out as the shower door was pried open and as the steam flooded into the bathroom itself, further veiling the intruder. I murmured weakly for them to leave me be, a pitiful moan escaping from my lips. Perhaps it was Kaname come to retrieve me and take me home. No. I didn't want that…

"Yuki!" Zero's voice. A moment of relief. His arms around me, tugging me gently from the confines of the shower. A towel being wrapped around me, concealing me. I try to speak my I feel a bubble rising in my throat causing another choked gagging noise as if moments away from vomiting. I clutch at Zero's uniform, my fingers balled tightly into fists around the fabric of his jacket.

"I'm so scared….so scared Zero…..Kaname….he's coming….he'll find us….he knows! He knows what we did!" I spluttered almost incomprehensibly up at him. I felt large hands clutch my shoulders tightly, shaking me slightly as if to wake me from a terrible nightmare. I blink a few times almost relieved. A nightmare? I had been plagued by them for a while now…however as I opened my eyes it was still Zero staring seriously at me, brown furrowed in frustration. I wasn't going to wake up because it was real. Everything was real. I sunk to the floor once more, releasing Zero's jacket leaving its fabric twisted and mangled. However, Zero's arms stop me, hoisting me rather roughly to my feet. I yelped as I felt my feet leave the icy floor and I trembled as he pinned me up against the bathroom wall.

"Yuki. Listen to me. You have to stop blubbering like this and snap out of it!" Zero began, but I shook my head, attempting to pull him into a hug I desperately needed, however his resolve was strong and he forced me back against the wall once more.

"LISTEN to me Yuki!" He demanded, forcing me to be silent as he raised his voice, a glare plastered across his face. I nodded slowly, inwardly attempting to calm myself down, frightened of what would happen if I didn't. He paused before continuing. "What's done is done, there's no changing what we did. Whether it was wrong or not I don't know but I refuse to regret it-don't you dare turn away from me Yuki, look me in the eye!" He insisted, taking hold of my chin and forcing me to look at him, his grip surprisingly gentle as I realised how much he was hurting. My gaze softened from one of fear to one of apology. My fingers found their way to Zero's hands that still cupped my face. I caressed his fingers gently with my own.

"I'm…I'm so sorry…I…I've been so childish…everything I've d-done…has been selfish…and childish….I ran away from home like a spoilt child who didn't get what she wanted….and then I ended up leading you on...a-and…what we did last night…was my fault too…" I began, my voice trembling, however inwardly I held firm, searching for some hidden strength within me, one that would allow me to continue speaking without cracking and crying. I took a shaky breath, my breathing a little raspy as the tears I had been crying a few moments ago began to subdue. It was my turn to cup his face now. I wanted Zero to know…that I didn't regret what we'd done. I didn't want to hurt him by making him think he'd taken something from me. I had given it willingly to him and that was the point I needed to convey.

"Zero. I promise…I-I won't regret my decision." I continued, the words all so familiar and nostalgic as they were spoken. Words that had filled my mind for what must've been about a year and a half now…when I had first allowed Zero to drink my blood in ignorance. I had been the driving force behind that. I had lead him into that shower and urged him to take my blood…Zero had never happily done such a thing…and this was the same. I had been the reason for the act, I had made the first move and again I had hurt him. "I love you Zero. I wanted it to be you…I wanted you to be my first…" I blushed a little childishly at this statement but carried on regardless, "A-and even if that means we've committed a taboo…I promise you Zero, this time I won't let you take the fall. I'll face up to the consequences…I'll protect you…from Kaname…from anyone who tries to hurt you…to anyone who tries to tell us what we did was wrong….I won't be ashamed…I won't…regret…." I told him. I told him as sincerely as I could, struggling to find the words to tell him how much I loved him. I felt the familiar sting of tears, and had to blink hard to force them to recede. He released me, smiling a little sadly at me as if my words hurt him.

"You're always so reckless Yuki….you plan on telling Kaname Kuran that I slept with his precious girl?" He replied, playfully, a little mockingly. I shook my head. This was Zero's way of telling me he understood…and that he believed my words…at least I hoped that was what he meant.

"I don't know yet…I-I don't know what I should do…but I promise you Zero I won't let anything else bad happen to you!" I declared, clutching my hands at my chest. I was inwardly terrified of this pledge. It almost seemed like a declaration of war against Kaname…however, I wanted to do right by Zero for once, even if I didn't know what that meant yet…I'd think long and hard and decide what the best course of action would be. He sighed heavily, shooting me a small smile.

"Here. Get dressed, I have school and I'm not leaving you here in harm's way. You can stay in the Headmaster's living quarters at least for the day." He decided, disappearing out the door for a moment before reappearing with my bag which he flung at me. I faltered, dropping it rather than catching it, and shooting him a mock look of irritation, pouting my lower lip at him. He rolled his eyes, leaving the bathroom and shutting the door.

"And don't take all day. I have things to do." He yelled from the other side of the door, and with this banter I was reminded of the days before I'd been Yuki Kuran….the days when I'd been Yuki Cross. I smiled weakly, keeping up the façade of determination although inwardly I was faltering. Somehow I would figure things out, but for the time being I silently prayed that Kaname would remain ignorant of our act for the time being, at least until I'd decided a suitable course of action.

**AN- Hmm I considered putting Kaname in this chapter but thought it would be too soon ^^'. So what will happen now? Will Yuki tell or keep quiet? I'll try to update sooner this time thank you for being so patient with me!**


	23. 22 Morning Sunlight

**A/N-I'm very sorry for the slow update, things have been incredibly busy offline! Anyway, hopefully things will get moving along in the next few chapters, I'm sorry if they take a while but I'm still working on them! Enjoy!**

The Sunlight was merciless as I took the first step out of Zero's apartment. The Sun had begun to steadily rise in the sky, raising its dazzling head above the town as if calling all of the humans to rise from their slumber….and like a protective shield repelled all of the vampires back into the darkness from whence they came. My travelling bag was clutched tightly in one hand, leaving me only one free hand to shield my eyes with. I squinted through the gaps that I allowed to remain between my fingers, peering out down into the street, waiting for my vampiric eyes to adjust to the assault. This inability to bask in the warm morning light still made my heart feel heavy, a reminder that I was no longer human. It was the little things like this that seemed to have the biggest impact. Despite the incandescent light that the sun was producing a chill still lingered in the air, not as sharp as it had been the night before, but still enough for my body to shiver in response. Squinting through the light I allowed my hand to stop being a visor for my eyes and pulled my hood swiftly over my head as Zero had instructed I should earlier. A click, the sound of the key in the door to Zero's apartment. The sound of footsteps against metal, the image of Zero, his coat concealing his day class uniform. I simply watch as he makes his way down the metal steps, his satchel slung loosely over his shoulder as he descends down the rusty old staircase.

"You coming or what?" His voice brought me out of the trance I seemed to have fallen into, his words were spoken without even turning to face me, a reminder of the way we were supposed to be…enemies. My grip tightened on the holdall's handles, I had to remember this was just a façade…Zero loved me…right? I took a deep breath, trying to feel refreshed by the cool morning air before taking the first step slowly, almost testing it to make sure it was still stable before making my way steadily down the rest. Zero waited patiently at the bottom, a neutral though not unpleasant expression upon his face, a reminder that even though we had mutually agreed to keep up façade in public…we both understood the passion in the other's heart. I smiled at him as I reached the bottom, taking one last look up at Zero's apartment feeling a little melancholy as I did…did this mean I would never return? We hadn't made a plan to return...though part of me realized Zero wanted me to return home, perhaps not because he felt I 'belonged' there…but more to appease Kaname for a while. Zero strode ahead, leading the way towards the Academy, though not at a pace that seemed to keep us a notable distance apart.

"We'll cut through this way it'll take us to the town centre more quickly." Zero announced, pausing to glance back at me before striding down an alleyway. I faltered for a moment, recalling the previous night, the two vampires, being pinned to the ground, his fangs in my neck. My hands swiftly shot to my throat. How had I forgotten? The wounds…of course they'd healed…I was a pureblood after all….still, what would Kaname say if he discovered a level c had tasted my blood? He'd always grimaced whenever he mentioned the fact Zero had drank from me…his tone always distorted to one of disgust, and a flash of hatred would flicker across his crimson eyes. My throat suddenly felt dry…if that was how he reacted when Zero drank my blood…how would he react knowing that he had taken more than just my blood? Zero was already halfway down the narrow alleyway when he paused, turning back to face me.

"We'll be late. Try to keep up…" He called, his low tenor reverberating and echoing as it collided with the tall stone walls surrounding him. I nodded, sprinting to catch up with him though still not entirely content with being back in an alleyway…though I doubted it was the same one I still felt uneasy, and decided to stay close to my knight in shining armour…as Zero had turned out to be last night. As I walked close beside him, his scent filled my nostrils, his nostalgic and inviting scent. I kept wanting to touch him, to just reach out and wrap my fingers around his arm, or slap him playfully on the back as I would have a long time ago now…to slide my fingers into his and feel what it was like to hold his hand…it was the innocent things like that I didn't want to miss out on…I recalled one of the times I'd dragged him into my favorite café when I'd had a sudden craving for parfait…I recalled seeing young couples around our age in there, sharing ice creams and exchanging small smiles and romantic glances across the table at one another…it was those kind of things that I had never been able to experience…even with Kaname I had never been able to venture out with him to do what normal couples did…I sighed softly beside him silently yearning for some small romantic moment alone with him…something simple yet touching that normal teenagers were able to experience so freely.

I was relieved as we passed through the end of the dank alleyway into a street much wider than many of the side streets around the town, and smiled to myself as I spotted a shop nearby which had caught my eye yesterday while I'd been wandering aimlessly around in search of Zero…Like a magnet I seemed to be drawn back to the same window, and although the shop wasn't open at this time of morning I still had to steal a peek at something that had caught my eye the previous day. Gliding away from Zero, I gently pressed my fingertips against the glass of the shop window, watching as my breath clouded against the glass, slightly obscuring my view of the object I'd seen. I stared down at the beautifully crafted hand-mirror that sat perched upright upon a display stand. The handle and frame were made of silver, in which beautiful carvings of vines and flowers had been engraved to create and aesthetically pleasing appearance. The glass that was set in the beautiful frame was completely clear and unmarred, and in it I could see my own weary though bright eyed face reflected. A shadow suddenly passed over the object, and suddenly Zero's face swam into view in the tiny mirror. I could see reflected in the glass one eyebrow raised, a small smile playing on his lips as if this were typical of me to stop and stare at an object of vanity for so long.

"So what is it this time?" Zero questioned in a bored tone as if I'd done this to him all the time when we'd lived under one roof. I pouted, turning to face him. He rolled his eyes, gently shoving me out of the way and peering through the shop window, his eyes passing over the beautiful objects scattered across the display. His lilac eyes conveyed his boredom, reflecting how little interest these object held for him. As they flickered uninterestedly over the objects, he suddenly seemed to pause, staring at one object and flashing a small knowing smile. He buried his hands in his pockets, turning his head to face me.

"The mirror?" He asked, and I nodded, a little surprised he'd been able to distinguish which of the items had caught my interest. He gave a short laugh before saying "That's your pureblood vanity showing through…" I glowered at him, suddenly furious with him for bringing that into the conversation. I slapped him hard on his chest, as I had often done back when I was Yuki Cross, causing him to cough and moan in pain before shooting me a death glare.

"If you thought I was going to buy it for you before…that's definitely out of the question now." He declared, turning back to face the mirror and staring blankly at it as if he didn't understand what the appeal in it was in the first place. I felt my cheeks burning; did he really believe I was trying to get him to buy it for me? That hadn't been my intention, though I supposed I could understand why he would have gotten that impression. I moved slowly towards him, staring down at the mirror until my own image came into view as I stood closely beside Zero, drawn towards the warmth that seemed to radiate from his body despite his cold comment towards me. My heart fluttered seeing our faces reflected in the mirror, the image so clear that my heart seemed to ache at the memory of the relationship we had once shared. I felt my hand subconsciously groping for Zero's, a little surprised when our hands actually came into contact. His hands felt rough and coarse as I laced my fingers between his own, and I was startled by the difference between the mere texture of Zero's hand in contrast to Kaname's. Kaname's hands were soft, his fingers slender and graceful giving me the impression he had never worked a day's hard labour in his life…not that this was his fault, nor did it mean he had not faced hardships…what I did realize was that Zero's body and soul had been torn at, his life as a hunter had not been an easy one, and I got the impression that if he didn't have the blood of hunters and vampires flowing through his veins he would have aged terribly as a result. As it was, his face still retained its young appearance; lines had not yet carved their way into his ivory skin. However, his eyes themselves reflected his true experiences and troubles, his glower suddenly made much more sense to me, and I found myself squeezing his hand tightly, as if this would keep us bonded together forever.

"Zero…" I muttered softly in a tenor so low I wasn't sure his ears would even detect that I had uttered his name. Though no reply was uttered by him, as I continued to observe him carefully I'd noticed the slight clenching of his fists as his fingers compressed tightly around mine, as if hearing his name had caused him some sort of distress. I gulped, still feeling as vulnerable as I had last night, and with every passing moment I was beginning to realize just how much I longed to remain with Zero…I loved Kaname-sama of course, however, the prospect of being returned to the vast and empty mansion, left alone to wander aimlessly around those cavernous and lonely hallways and passages made my stomach knot almost painfully in response. I imagined that once I was returned to Kaname's care…I would never leave the mansion again. I would never have the opportunity to escape again…surely he would have been worried discovering my absence, hurt, perhaps even angry that I would flee our family home after he had worked so hard to keep me safely hidden from the prying eyes of the vampire community. Surely once I was returned to the Kuran mansion any access to the outside world would be barred to me…particularly any access to Zero. My head began to pound, and my heartbeat seemed to thump loudly in my ears as I felt the onslaught of a headache.

However ashamed and guilty these thoughts made me feel, I couldn't help but feel a sudden surge of determination too. As Zero and I stared at one another in the glass of the mirror, strips of sunlight seemed to filter down through the crevices between the houses and shops, reflecting off the clean glass, illuminating our profiles. I couldn't help but feel as if the weather contrasted my emotions entirely. My mind was foggy, shrouded with confusion and uncertainty, with fear and sorrow at the prospect of what lay ahead of me. However, as one of these pools of Sunlight filtered down from above, casting itself over the bodies of both Zero and I instead of feeling the sharp sting that the morning light would usually inflict upon my eyes I simply felt an almost reassuring warmth…and suddenly a sense of clarity seemed to sweep over me as if that was what the Sunlight had been trying to convey to me all along. It suddenly seemed of the utmost importance that I not allow this moment to pass in silence. Something inside of me seemed to make a sudden clear decision that truly if I was sent home the doors to the life I had once known as Yuki Cross would truly be closed for ever. Spurred forward by this frightening prospect I opened my mouth to speak the crucial words that I could feel rising inside me at this moment.

"I love you Zero." I told him, staring straight into his eyes which were reflected in the mirror. It seemed bizarre that I could more clearly and confidently utter these words to him through a mirror rather than to his face, despite the fact his gaze was still locked on mine in the looking glass. He seemed a little startled by my sudden confession and froze completely, only giving me a quizzical look after a few moments. It wasn't as if I hadn't told him before, however the words had come so swiftly without any warning or given reason, however my mind was telling me, urging me to maintain eye contact, to convey to him how much those words meant to me…to us…

"Yuki?" He asked in a somewhat surprised though not unpleasant tone. I opened my mouth to reply, however my mouth seemed dry as sand, my hands trembled as my eyes met with his. What did I mean to ask? _Don't leave me_…_Don't let me walk away again_…my mind flickered back to that night, that bitterly cold night a year ago when we had parted ways as enemies, as I'd paused staring wistfully up at the flakes that had been falling silently, almost eerily with that heavy feeling in my chest that Zero and I were no longer allies. Though no words were spoken Zero's blank expression seemed to distort with pain as if my eyes alone had been enough to convey my emotions. He was the first to break our gaze, as his lilac eyes flickered away from the mirror, his fingers tightening around my own in a vice like grip.

"Yuki…" He began; my name was heaved from his body as if it were almost a burden. He averted his gaze to the ground, a slight frown marring his expression. "Let's not do this here. When we get to the Academy we'll talk." He replied flatly, taking me gently by the hand and tugging me in the direction he wanted to go. I clenched my fists, not entirely sure how I should respond…something inside of me was telling me that the Academy was like a trap…once I was there under the watchful eye of the Headmaster I had no means of escape, even if Zero was willing to help me. I remained routed to the spot, however, Zero remained silent after this, signalling to me that he was not willing to compromise on this, and expected me to obey him. He tugged once more on my sleeve, a little more forcefully this time, before releasing me and walking briskly away. Although I doubted he intended to leave me alone in the middle of the street, I also didn't like the prospect of trying to find my way around the identical streets alone either, and as he'd clearly predicted, I ran swiftly to catch up with him, trying desperately to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach.

However, instead of slowing my pace once I reached the safety of his side I leapt in front of him, dropping my bag to the ground with a dull _thud_, and spreading my arms out wide to stand before him as if trying to create some sort of barrier. He halted before me, his lips pursed slightly, his eyes narrowed, his expression suggesting he was becoming weary of my interruptions and wouldn't put up with them for much longer.

"Yuki. Enough, we'll talk about this later." He spoke slowly, softly but with slight strain as if he was restraining his slowly mounting anger. I knew better than anyone that Zero had a short temper at the best of times, however, I wasn't about to let this opportunity slip through my fingers so easily, and as he attempted to push past me I clung tightly to the front of his coat, staring up at him, my heart pounding as I did so. Couldn't he see how desperate I was to stay with him? He sighed deeply, not even bothering to glance at me. He shut his eyes, inhaling slowly as if to extinguish his anger.

"No! Please Zero, if I don't tell you now I'm frightened I won't get the chance, they'll force me to go back and I'll never see you again!" I pleaded, my voice cracking with emotion. I could no longer face him as tears began to blur my vision, instead I stared down at the ground, watching as the first few tears slipped silently down my cheeks, falling and splitting as they hit the cobbled ground. I felt Zero's hands upon mine, gently prying me from his coat, before kneeling down to retrieve my bag. I watched helplessly as he slung my bag over his shoulder, the same shoulder upon which his satchel hung from, and felt a sinking feeling in my stomach at this, understanding he meant to take me back to the Academy whether I liked it or not. I let out a sound of protest as Zero wrapped his free arm around my waist, hoisting me over his shoulder as he had the previous night. The feeling of sadness alleviated, and was replaced by fury and embarrassment. I thrashed my legs, beating my fists against Zero's back, not hard enough to actually hurt him, but enough to irritate him. As he started walking I stopped this, instead using my arms to cling tightly to him for fear of falling. Pureblood or not, it would still hurt falling from his shoulders, Zero was almost six feet tall, and I didn't like the thought of falling from his height…I hated it enough when I slipped and fell walking in one inch heels, let alone from up here. However, despite this I continued to kick my legs, begging him to let me down. He grunted, adjusting both the bags and my body on his shoulders, causing me to let out a small squeal of fear as I shut my eyes tightly. "Zero…" I muttered uneasily, my stomach knotting and my arms and legs trembling uncontrollably. I heard him utter a short chuckle, a chuckle that heightened my anger and caused me to flail my legs more frantically than before.

"If you keep flailing like that people will see up your skirt." He told me, amusement present in his tone of voice. I felt my whole body heat up with embarrassment, and was sure if anyone were around they would see my face turn scarlet. Why did Zero always seem to find amusement in my embarrassment?

"Pervert!" I replied shrilly, slapping his back hard with one of my hands, causing him to cough loudly as he always did. I was secretly thankful Zero couldn't see how red my face was, or how flustered I'd become. It wasn't only his comment that had embarrassed me, it was the fact he had already seen up my skirt that caused my heart to flutter faster, and my cheeks to burn hotter. I recalled a day a year ago when Aido had told me to be careful not to let uncle Rido see up my skirt or Kaname would be angry…I shook my head, trying to forget the thought in an attempt to calm down. Clearly Zero hadn't taken my pervert comment well, and accelerated the pace at which he walked, causing me to jolt rather roughly on his shoulder. I sighed, if he was in a bad mood there was no way I could speak earnestly to him about my feelings.

"I don't want to hear any more about it Yuki or I'll turn around and take you back to Kuran myself." He mumbled his voice low and somewhat hostile. I opened my mouth to protest, but immediately thought better of it. I highly doubted Zero would actually take me back to Kaname, he loathed Kaname with every fibre of his being, and hated me for even being related to him…what more, the fact I had left with Kaname in the first place had shattered the friendship Zero and I had once shared to pieces, and I couldn't see Zero jeopardizing the fragile edifice of our friendship for a second time after we'd started to carefully rebuild it, not if he could help it. So instead I stayed silent, and obediently allowed Zero to carry me back to Cross Academy.

…

By the time we reached the Academy, and Zero had finally agreed to place me back on the ground, the Sun had risen into a position where it seemed to glare menacingly over the rooftops of the vast Academy. Never before had I viewed Cross Academy as a frightening place, however it seemed somewhat uninviting to me now, as if as a human I had been permitted to roam the halls freely both day and night…however, it seemed my new sensitivity to light, and the general feeling of anxiety that had plagued me the entire way there had combined to create a sort of barrier that made me feel unwelcome. Still, I tried to shake the unsettling feeling and followed Zero warily into the grounds, and couldn't help but feel a keen sting as nostalgia hit me…it seemed like only yesterday I had wandered carelessly around the familiar grounds, a sense of purpose and hope swelling inside me as I faced a new day. However so much had taken place there…it was where I had found my new 'beginning' the place where I had been stripped of my title as Yuki Cross and thrust almost cruelly into the new position of Yuki Kuran, the pureblood daughter of Haruka and Juri, the future bride of Kaname Kuran. The mere memory seemed to weigh more heavily on me than any other responsibility I had ever felt before, and my pace slowed as if to reflect this. The grounds were quiet and as we strode beneath one of the connecting bridges Zero pivoted around to face me, a look of irritation plastered across his face.

"What now?" He demanded, his tone harsh, his glare unyielding, it seemed he was utterly fed up of my reluctance to follow him and his soft and understanding tenor had slowly petered out of him. I blinked for a few moments, uncertain as to what had caused his sudden outburst when I realized I had halted again without even consciously realizing.

"I-I'm sorry Zero…I didn't-" I began, however in a swift moment he had me in his grasp and pinned me to one of the stone walls. My whole body froze though my heart was racing. Zero's fierce glower petrified me in a way it never had before, as if he was piercing me with the gaze of a hunter who had just caught his prey. I felt a lump growing in my throat, and the sound of my heartbeat pounding loudly in my ears, I attempted to tear my eyes away from his fiery glower, but only found myself attracted to it. As frightening as he was when he was angered I couldn't help but long for him. I opened my mouth to speak but no words were uttered as Zero's mouth pressed down hard on my lips, capturing my words as he had the night before. I felt his grip on me weaken, although his kiss was still forceful. He pulled away as swiftly as he'd kissed me, giving me a pained look as he did. I trembled in his grip, no longer with fear but with a myriad of emotions. I stared deep into his eyes, searching for the reason for his sorrowful look, but found no hint of an answer. He released me completely, though I remained with my back pressed closely against the wall, still shocked and uncertain about what was taking place. Instead he slumped forward, resting his head on my shoulder and emitting a soft groan of frustration.

"You think you're the only one hurting Yuki? You think you're the only one who doesn't want you to go back to him?" He growled, his face still buried in my shoulder so I had to strain slightly to catch his words. I felt a pain in my chest, a sudden realization that Zero really was hurting as much as me…perhaps more. Slowly, tentatively, I wrapped my arms around his neck, whispering softly into his ear,

"I'm so sorry Zero….I-I'm so sorry…" I kept uttering these words like a chant, as if I were soothing a grieving child, though I wasn't sure if this was more for my benefit or his. We stayed like this, Zero and I, for a few moments, hidden from the prying eyes of others by the arch we stood beneath. I sighed deeply, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, feeling its soft texture between my fingers.

"You and I both know…you have to go back though…." He told me, lifting his head from my shoulder so that he could look me in the eye. I suddenly felt my heart flutter again, and my throat felt dry at his words. He couldn't mean that. I shook my head, allowing myself to laugh a little, almost hysterically as if the whole thing were a joke. Was he giving up?

"N-no Zero, please I thought we decided-" I spluttered, feeling a wave of panic washing over me. My plan shattering before my very eyes as Zero shook his head. It became clear to me now, all of this really was a trap, leading me back to the Academy so that Kaname could collect me…take me back home like a stray dog or cat….I felt my face crumble as my body shook with sobs. Zero's expression had become unreadable, even as he ran a thumb beneath my eyes in an attempt to prevent my tears from falling. I realized now that I had been delusional to think Zero would allow me to stay with him, a vampire hunter and a pureblood. "Zero please…" I begged, my voice quaked with each word. I propelled myself towards him, embracing him tightly, trying to inhale his scent and will the terrible feeling of dread away.

"I wasn't finished." Zero spoke softly, his voice had a soothing quality when he wanted it to, and I felt a pang of nostalgia as he ruffled the top of my head affectionately with his hand, probably the only thing that both he and Kaname shared. I shivered, my breathing irregular and shaky as crying often makes it, and stared up at him, teary eyed, awaiting whatever he wanted to say, and silently praying he was going to tell me he was lying, that the two of us could remain together like this.

"You always get so worked up…look you have to go back…" He began, fixing me with a quick glance that told me not to protest or interrupt until he had continued a little further. So taking a deep shaky breath, I nodded slowly, biting my tongue and willing myself not to panic until I'd heard Zero out. "I want you to go back for a little while; I don't want you to tell him what happened between us last night you understand?" He ordered, his voice suddenly authoritative though not intimidating. I nodded quickly, eager for him to continue. He sighed, running a hand through his hair and staring out at the Sun for a moment as if grappling to find the words to say. "I'll find a way to see you when he isn't there, and we'll think of something more permanent…" He continued, moving his hand to shield his eyes from the Sun. I nodded slowly, sighing deeply as it occurred to me that not even Zero knew what to do, however, all at once I seemed to understand that it wasn't Zero's job to repair the damage I had caused. It wasn't Zero's duty to find a way for us to remain together.

"Zero, I think…I need to speak to Kaname. I-I don't know what I was thinking…going behind his back but…I think I should talk to him, and tell him how I feel…because I don't want our relationship to be a deceitful one, I want it to be special….I'm not ashamed Zero, of what we did, of what we are, I don't care if you're a hunter and I'm a vampire I just want things to be like they were…" It sounded absurd even to me; Kaname would never allow me to leave. I was at a loss for what to do exactly but I promised myself I would not be useless and allow Zero to do all the work. I wasn't sure how things would turn out but I wanted to be able to tell myself I'd honestly tried for both Zero and I. Zero stared at me for a moment, before inhaling deeply and coming to stand beside me so her could lean against the wall. He held a hand over his face as if to shield himself from the troubles we were sure to face in the future.

"…I understand that you need to talk to him…but do one thing for me and…and wait a while. I need to figure some things out with the hunter society and the Headmaster…and when its time I'll let you know." He told me, in broken sentences with long pauses that suggested to me he was considering things carefully before he spoke. I understood Zero was reluctant for Kaname to learn the truth, not necessarily because he feared Kaname, but perhaps because of what Kaname could do to him, to his reputation and his position as a vampire hunter. However what did puzzle me was the thought of him 'letting me know' there was no way he could get a message to me through Aido or Seiren, so how would he do it? I opened my mouth ask, however Zero was already walking away into the Sunlight grounds of the Academy towards a large fountain in the centre. I sighed, understanding now that Zero and I would have a struggle ahead of us, however, as the bright morning Sun beat down on Zero, illuminating his profile I couldn't help but feel as if he was worth it.


	24. 23 Masking the SIn

**A/N-I'm sorry for the wait, after all the wonderful Zeki chapters, I must say I struggled to keep focussed while writing this! In any case, I hope to get the next chapter out more quickly next time! Thank you for being patient! **** Your reviews and comments mean the world to me! :D **

_Tick, tick, tick_

The sound of the clock as the second hand flicked monotonously over the clock's pale face, signalling the passing minutes in an almost infuriating way. The soft ticks became louder whenever the second hand was forced to brush past the thicker, slow moving hour and minute hands of the clock. I folded my hands in my lap, sitting up straight in the chair as if I expected Kaname's familiar form to materialize from behind the doorframe. I rearranged my legs, tucking them neatly behind the leg of the chair, a ladylike position Ruka had suggested I adopt while preparing me for the soiree. A heavy sigh, I shifted uneasily in my seat, moved my bag from one side of the chair to the other. My gaze flickered up towards the clock, its hands almost seeming to move in reverse, the second hand seemed to halt entirely almost mockingly. I could feel my brow creasing into an agitated frown. My chest seemed to constrict more with each breath as if my airway was collapsing in on itself. Was that sweat I felt slipping down my cheek or a teardrop…a teardrop filled with a myriad of clashing emotions. My heart seemed to drum violently against my ribcage, causing me to recall images from the previous night.

The image of a dark room. The grainy texture of the ceiling as I threw my head back. Zero's pallid face illuminated only by the dim light of the Moon filtering through murky windows, the shadowed contorts of his face seeming to make the whole scene even more seductive. His lilac eyes intensely locked on my own, dragging me towards them in the most intimate and passionate gaze another human being had ever given me, his jaw clenching slightly with the self-control of having to hold back the growl that had been rising in his throat. I shut my eyes as if to relive the moment more fully, allowing it to take hold of me. I could already feel a pang of fear in my chest at the prospect of allowing even the smallest details of last night to slip from my grasp. I thought I recalled hearing the smallest breath, a slight gasp that had forced itself from my body with a shudder…Hadn't Zero's trembling fingertips laced themselves within the scruffy tangle of my hair?….hadn't they softly brushed against my cheek as if to wipe away a tear which had been silently shed…as if in remembrance of all the difficulties we'd experienced since we'd met? All the difficulties that were to come…

Reluctantly I compelled myself to return to the room I was waiting in before I became engulfed in the memory. To become aware of the cold seat I was perched upon, the icy air around me that seemed to choke out all memory of last night…or perhaps it wasn't so cold at all, but merely cold compared to the warmth of Zero. I could already feel my breath catching in my throat at the recollection. My palms felt clammy, and my body felt hot with excitement but also embarrassment. I inhaled deeply, attempting to steady my hammering heart. Fear. Fear clutched my heart tightly in its iron grip. I swallowed, almost painfully choking back unshed tears. My throat and mouth felt scratchy and dry as if it were filled with sand. I suddenly felt peculiar, light headed, and in a bid to ease the nausea that had suddenly taken hold of me I clutched the edge of the chair. Slowly, I pushed my body into a standing position, pausing a moment, arms stretched out slightly as if to protect myself from falling. When I felt steady on my feet, I slowly made my way towards the door across from me. The Headmaster's office. Shakily I raised my fist to the door, rapping my knuckles lightly against the wood, feeling a certain sense of déjà vu as I did…I could picture naïve, innocent Yuki Cross standing in the same spot, mimicking the action.

"One moment!" The Headmaster's shrill voice sounded from the other side of the door, slightly muffled by the wood dividing us. I closed my eyes, gently resting my head upon the door, attempting to regain my composure. If Kaname saw me in this state when he came to collect me he would surely see the guilt etched across my face. I had to become the cool and emotionless pureblood Zero would despise…at least on the outside. My chest ached painfully, and a dull thud seemed to be engulfing my senses…the onslaught of a headache. Yes. On the outside I had to take on the steely façade of a predator surveying her prey with a cool detached air…while on the inside trying to remain the same Yuki I had always been…the one who cared deeply for Zero, the same Yuki who longed to fight for him. It would be like hiding my feelings behind a mask. If only such a thing were truly possible, for a mask would be far easier to hide behind…a mask can't contort, can't crumble into tears. It takes on one expression, allowing the being behind it some form of protection. What I had to do was much harder. To force myself to remain as a mask, cold and unmoved by emotion.

The wood I was resting my head upon suddenly seemed to disappear, and I leapt back in shock, my heart pounding even more frantically with the surprise. The door had swung open so that I was now face to face with Zero, whose gaze settled upon me, a look of indignation upon his face….a look that softened a little as he noticed the state I was in.

"Zero…" I muttered, struggling to keep the rising emotion in my body from tainting my words. Zero was clearly determined to make sure the façade we were putting on was convincing, the least I could do was work just as hard to do the same. I flashed him a small, weak smile, before peering over his shoulder through the open door, my eyes settling upon the Headmaster sat at his desk. Averting my gaze, my eyes met with Zero's one last time, and I felt neither of us could have uttered words as powerful as the stare we shared at that moment. The silence seemed to speak for us, and in that short instance I was able to see all of the emotions Zero was withholding from the outside world. The bond was broken with a swift movement, Zero moved past me, through the waiting room down a corridor. Flustered, I moved in the opposite direction, stepping into the Headmaster's office. I froze hesitantly at the door, gripping the doorframe tightly in my fingers to steady my trembling body. The headmaster's cheerful gaze suddenly dissipated as he stared at me.

"Yuki dear, what's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost!" He questioned his tone thick with worry. My vision swam a little as I watched him rise from his desk and stride towards me, his eyebrows knitting into a concerned frown. I flinched when his fingers suddenly made contact with my arm. Gently, he guided me toward the chair that sat before his desk. I followed him mutely, not knowing if he meant for me to respond to his question or if it had been rhetorical. I allowed my eyes to flicker over the smooth, polished surface of the Headmaster's desk, taking in the absence of the thin strips of wood, nailed unskilfully to the desk masking a crack which had once been present down the centre. My stomach seemed to churn painfully realizing that the Headmaster had finally replaced his old broken desk. In my absence subtle changes had been made to the aesthetic appearance of the familiar office…a pitcher of water sat glistening in the morning Sunlight which streamed through the towering old windows as it sat upon the new Oakwood desk…an elaborately patterned white and blue china vase held a stunning bouquet of snow white lilies, something which reminded me of innocence…and innocence lost.

This thought caused my legs to quiver as I was carefully lowered into the chair. The Headmaster was gentle with me, handling me the same way that Kaname would; like a delicate china doll whose fragile and delicate features might crack if handled too carelessly. Not like Zero, who had forcefully flung me over his shoulder upon rescuing me, who had flung me down upon the unmade bed with all his passion. He had done these things with more force than the Headmaster, or even Kaname dared to use. It excited me. Made me feel like a person, like a real woman rather than a human doll to be kept in a glass case and admired only for her long hair and pretty painted features. Was that truly how Kaname and the Headmaster had seen me all along?

The pitcher of water I had observed earlier was now in the Headmaster's hand, accompanied by an empty glass clutched in the other. I could feel my head spinning, and jumped as the Headmaster extended his hand out to me, a now full glass clutched in his fingers. It took me a few moments to register that he was offering the beverage to me, causing him to furrow his brows slightly when I finally reached out and grasped the tumbler with trembling hands. I brought the glass slowly to my dry lips, yearning for the refreshing liquid it contained. I hesitated, aware of the Headmaster's amber eyes surveying me cautiously, and I could've sworn he was holding his breath as if in suspense. I hadn't seen him since that night at the soiree…that night which had only been days ago but which felt liked months…oh, and when I had trailed despondently behind Zero as he had made his way into the Headmaster's office earlier that morning…upon setting eyes on me he had practically launched himself at me in a tackle like embrace. It had occurred to me, almost humorously, that during my absence I had become rusty when it came to dodging his hugs. I gulped, the tumbler still suspended at my lips. As I swallowed I couldn't ignore the fact that my throat still felt as parched and scratchy as sand, and finally allowed the cool glass to touch my lips as the water cascaded down my throat, like waves crashing upon a sandy beach. I smiled gratefully at him once I had guzzled down the refreshing liquid and drained the glass, daubing my lips gently with my thumb. He retrieved the glass from my grasp when he was certain I was sated, and placed it back upon his desk with a dull thud. My hand fluttered at my throat as I realized my mouth still remained as parched as it had been a moment ago, as if the tumbler had never touched my lips. I was alarmed by the sudden pang of animalistic hunger that struck me like physical blow.

"Yuki…" The Headmaster's familiar lilting tone drew me out of my trance as I watched him settle himself so that he perched upon the end of his desk. His eyes never strayed from me, making me somewhat regret having entered the room at all. I inhaled deeply, plastering a false smile across my face, terrified at the fact he could notice my unease…if he could see it, Kaname would surely realize everything before I even uttered a single word. I wanted to meet his gentle yet prying gaze directly in a bid to reassure him and assert myself. However, I knew myself, and knew that my eyes gave away far more than I ever intended…

"It's not that I'm unhappy to see you but you seem a little…anxious…" I could sense in his tone of voice that he was holding something back…an unasked question, an unfinished thought, and the hairs on the back of my neck seemed to stand on end at the notion that perhaps the Headmaster knew something…the Headmaster had known Zero and I for a long time…was it possible that he could sense the shift in our relationship, merely through the brief moment we had shared at the doorway? I gripped the edge of the chair tightly, as if this would diffuse all of my emotions. I opened my mouth to answer but nothing more than a squeak was uttered, and I mentally chastised myself for being such a wreck. I coughed, attempting to give him the impression that my throat was merely dry, rather than make him believe I was as anxious as he seemed to believe, however before I had the opportunity to speak he continued.

"Zero told me what happened last night…" These words seemed to send a chill down my spine, and I stared straight up at him in sheer alarm as he spoke. Surely Zero would never tell the Headmaster what we did. I could feel the frenzied beating of my heart against my ribcage again, pounding painfully in my chest.

"What did he tell you?" I blurted out, unable to keep the agitation from my voice, which cracked with emotion as I spoke. After this little outburst I had to physically force myself to sit back in my chair so as not to seem suspicious. If Zero had confessed our sin to the Headmaster…then the Headmaster would surely tell Kaname before I had the chance to work things out…Inwardly I was restless with apprehension. The knot in my stomach pulled tighter, causing another wave of nausea to wash over me. Had I ever been so nervous and frightened before in my life? My jittery heart seemed to be pounding so loudly that I was certain even without a vampire's senses the Headmaster was sure to hear it and figure out what I had done.

"Oh Yuki, you mustn't be embarrassed, what those men did was unforgiveable! Thank heavens Zero was around to rescue you, my poor little girl! It's understandable that you're shaken up, anyone would be!" The Headmaster cooed, almost as if comforting a crying child. I blinked a few times, uncertainly trying to decipher just what the Headmaster was talking about. A wave of relief washed over me as I recalled the event that had taken place the previous night…how had I forgotten it? I exhaled, letting out a breath which had been caught in my throat to my own surprise. I coughed once more, as if to clear my throat, as if I was about to utter an answer…only I had no idea how to respond. A movement. The pitcher was lifted from the desk once more, along with the glass which was filled, just as it had been moments ago. The glass was held towards me a second time, and once more I accepted it gratefully. I longed to guzzle down the liquid with the ravenous hunger my body was feeling…however, the water bought me time to consider my response. I gulped it slowly, as if savouring every drop that fell into my mouth. Should I pretend to be oblivious in the naïve hope the Headmaster didn't know? Or should I merely confess? My heart hammered as the glass was almost drained, my mind still frantically trying to decide what I should say. However, just as I lowered the glass from my lips, I was saved as the Headmaster spoke once more.

"I must say I'm surprised to see you…of course I'm overjoyed to see my sweet Yuki again but…I can't help but wonder….why were you out on your own last night? The streets are a dangerous place for a young woman, even a pureblood vampire." The Headmaster's tone was soft, and almost comforting. This man was the closest thing I'd had to a father for so long it wasn't surprising that he was able to comfort me in a way not even he understood. His tone held no hint of condemnation, and I didn't feel as if he was being accusatory. I sat back in my seat, feeling a little more comfortable than I had before; despite the question I had yet to answer. I couldn't help but notice the Headmaster's gaze flickering in the direction of the door, and I suddenly felt as if my heart was being crushes in a vice like grip…Slowly, I turned to face the doorway, expecting to see Kaname's familiar figure looming at the door. However, the doorway remained empty, and it took me a few more moments to realize that the Headmaster's eyes were settled upon the holdall Zero had flung down earlier when we had first entered the Headmasters office. It slowly dawned on me as I turned back to face the man, that he as probably trying to decide just why I had been travelling with such a large bag…clearly intended for more than just a day out at the shops. My cheeks flooded with color as a guilty blush spread across my cheeks.

"O-Oh…well….." I began, stuttering a little…not entirely sure how to proceed from here. I couldn't possibly tell the Headmaster my true motive for leaving my family home…for leaving Kaname. His amber eyes were soft, not judgemental in the slightest but sincere and filled with concern. Unable to face his kindly expression I averted my eyes, staring guiltily at my lap, at my clasped hands tightly and in my mind attempted to sift through all the possible excuses I could make for myself. What had been my reason? A silly whim after the ball…a longing to see Zero…the feeling of being inadequate in my role as a pureblood vampire…and as Kaname's lover? Was that all? I felt my stomach twisting into a painful knot, a nagging thought that had been consuming my thoughts as of late…since the nightmares about Zero had begun. The feeling of unease, a general sense that something was not as it should be whenever Kaname put his hands on me…whenever I would kiss his lips when he returned from long journeys…the feeling of unease that seem to plague me each and every night, a growing sense of disgust in the pit of my stomach every time I considered the fact that Kaname and I were siblings. Was that it? The true root of the problem? I had been a human for so long that the thought of being romantic with my brother as I had with Zero left me feeling abhorrent towards my nature as a pureblood vampire. I wasn't entirely sure. Nor did I have time to contemplate it.

"You haven't been having trouble with Kaname-kun have you?" The ex-hunter questioned in an almost comical way, it seemed so melodramatic, and had anyone else reacted in such a way I would have assumed they were being patronizing, sarcastic even. However, knowing the Headmaster as I did this was all normal. He leaned towards me, his eyes swam with concern and sincerity, and in some ways he made me wonder if perhaps…he was agonizing more over my relationship with Kaname than I was. I felt my stomach knot guiltily at this private revelation, never allowing the emotion to make its impact visibly on my face. I shook my head quickly, perhaps trying to reassure myself more than the Headmaster, and hoped that this would ease his concern…however, much to my dismay his expression darkened, causing me to avert my eyes from his. Was it possible that I had let my guard down unconsciously? Was it possible that the Headmaster had caught some tell-tale sign, some glimmer of doubt that made him question my response. How did Kaname or Zero manage to maintain their cool under such pressure when their emotions were overwhelming them on the inside? Once again, I couldn't help but feel as if my many years as a human had hindered me in the art of concealing my emotions.

"He hasn't…hurt you, has he Yuki?" He questioned in a tone much more serious now, a low enthralling tone I imagine he had once used as a hunter interrogating vampires…it had the effect of being both gripping, soft and yet almost challenging at the same time. I shook my head again; almost frightened to summon my voice in case I cracked under the pressure. As long as I remained silent I could feign somewhat of a cool composure, but the moment I spoke I just knew the careful façade would crack and leave my emotions exposed beneath. I felt my heart begin to race in an anxious frenzy as his fingers made contact with my chin, and he gently tilted my face up to stare into his eyes. My answer hadn't been a lie, however, I felt as if it had been now, as the Headmaster's eyes seemed to probe my own mahogany orbs for information. I watched as the blonde's eyebrows seemed to furrow just a little in a kind of frown, not a threatening or indignant frown, but the type that mirrored internal worry. His eyes seemed to take in all the details of my face, and behind the concern I saw a slight look of sadness I couldn't explain or even begin to understand. Like Zero…there was so much about this man I didn't know. He'd been my father for ten years, and yet, I knew so little of him. I knew he had been a hunter once, until he established Cross Academy and became a pacifist. That was the extent of my knowledge, and it occurred to me I might never know more about the man who had been so kind to me. Eventually, I felt the warmth of his fingers slip from my chin, as he uttered a long and heavy sigh.

"It seems as if my little Yuki has changed somehow…but I can't put my finger on it." The Headmaster explained, a melancholy expression knitting his eyebrows together once more. His amber eyes still flickering, searching my face as if trying to draw meaning from the shade of my skin, or the shape of my eyes. I could feel my palms beginning to sweat as he surveyed me. Of course I knew what it was. I was no longer his innocent daughter, even if I was as open to read as ever. The taboo I had committed with Zero had marred me somehow, in a way I couldn't even understand just yet. One thing was clear though, the Headmaster saw it. Somehow the Headmaster could see my sin, even if he didn't understand what it was…and that thought petrified me.

"Are you sure those men didn't do anything to you Yuki?" The Headmaster's tone and expression lightened, just a little, so he became more like himself. I allowed myself a small, reassuring smile, a smile I had seen both Kaname and the Headmaster use hundreds of times on me…when I had still been a human, seeking the truth about my past, moving blindly through the world, as if blindfolded in a maze of thorns, while their gentle hands guided me away from danger, away from the truth and experience. It was the first time I had ever used this token smile. It seemed so false, and to even be on the other side of this practised smile seemed peculiar to say the least. Much to my surprise, it genuinely worked, and the Headmaster flashed me a small, relieved smile in response, as if this simple facial expression had washed away all of his worries, at least for the time being. The silence which ensued was a little awkward, filled with my own insecurities about what the Headmaster knew, while he tried to figure out why I was behaving so strangely.

"…You stayed at Zero's apartment last night." The ex-hunter said with a small smile, a smile that made my face burn with embarrassment. The smile seemed teasing…as if he was playfully suggesting something had taken place between us. Of course, that wasn't the reason behind this perplexing smile. In fact, I think he simply gave this knowing smile as if to say he knew Zero and I couldn't possibly remain 'enemies' forever. I nodded, maintaining the same false smile, internally cringing at the mere mention of the previous night. I understood the Headmaster was merely concerned; however, I was terrified I wouldn't be able to sustain the façade for much longer.

"Yes. It was very kind of him to offer me a place to stay after I caused him so much trouble…he even slept on a chair and let me have his bed…" I told him, speaking slowly in a bid to keep any hesitance or uncertainty from my voice. I recalled the strategies I had called upon during the soiree, speaking politely and carefully in order not to give the wrong impression. I inwardly thanked Ruka for equipping me with the skills to deal with such a situation diplomatically. I had to behave in a way that suggested I hadn't actually been searching for him…and that running into him had been an incredibly fortunate coincidence, which in reality wasn't a complete lie.

"I realize it would have been just as easy for him to lock me in the dungeons in the hunter association for the night." I added, feeling this was an essential element to add to add a little more authenticity to my story. The blond leaned forward slightly, a kindly smile gracing his lips.

"You know…no matter what Zerorin says…he would never leave you alone in that place overnight…hunters can be so vulgar! It's really no place for a young lady like yourself!" He interjected in a rather singsong tone of voice, more characteristic of the Headmaster I knew and had grown up with. I attempted to supress the blush I could feel threatening to tinge my cheeks at his first remark…could it be…Zero really had wanted to protect me from such a place? Even if, to some extent, I was breaking some kind of law? I frowned a little. The Zero I knew would always do his job…however…it seemed as if I truly didn't know Zero, and now I longed to see him once more and express my gratitude more coherently. I lamented, understanding too fully the forbidden nature of our relationship, and struggled to quash a heavy, melancholy sigh that was rising in my throat.

"I have to say, I agree with you Headmaster." A familiar voice reverberating off the walls almost threateningly. My eyes widened as I turned to face the door. He was here.


	25. 24 The Long Journey Home

**A/N- *Crawls out of the hole I must have been living in to have avoided updating this for FIVE months.* I'm so sorry…it's been a really difficult few months, and I really must thank ANYONE who is still following this story at this point, it really means a lot to me. First I was having RL issues, and then after chapter 89 of the manga I lost a LOT of faith when it came to writing this…then I kind of wondered why I was even writing a story in the POV of a character most of the fandom loathes right now…but despite everything I love Yuki's character, and I'll continue writing this none the less. As well as Zero's pov as well. ANYWAY. Also, I have a Tumblr now, and have pages on there dedicated to keeping you informed when it comes to all of my VK fanfics, so if you ever have any questions, or if you're just wondering if I'm still working on the, check here- **** .**

**This is a rather slow chapter, I apologize, but I'm going to try and work on a new style of writing in which I won't ramble so much on the boring parts, so please, if you're still out there reading this, hang in there with me, I'm working on it! A Zero, or Kaname chapter will follow this one, I'm just trying to decide which I want to work on first. Thanks again for you patience, I really can't stress how much I appreciate your loyalty and dedication as readers. **

I opened my mouth to speak, silently willing the words to form themselves on my lips, and express the deepest gratitude and regrets that flooded my mind. However, no words were uttered. No sound escaped my lips, and before the words began to take shape, I found myself collapsing into a deep bow. If words could not be constructed, then, at least on this occasion, the act of bowing would have to speak for me. I was aware that it was socially frowned upon for a pureblood vampire to bow to anyone, yet it was the only way I was able to conceal the tears pooling at the corners of my vision. Besides. This man had been my father for ten years. This was but a small gesture to convey my gratitude to him, not just for today, but for ten years of kindness.

As it was, the dark aura clinging to the man who had come to collect me was a reminder that I was already in trouble for running away…any further punishment wouldn't really matter. When I eventually arose, I was enveloped in a tight embrace as the Headmaster flung his arms around me. On this rare occasion I didn't squirm, wrapping my own arms around my 'father's' body, I whispered a simple 'thank you' in his ear. I breathed in his familiar scent, able to appreciate it after being apart from him for so long. I stored the memory in some deep recess of my heart, together with the touch and smell of Zero. I reluctantly withdrew from the parental comfort of his arms, and glided slowly across the Headmaster's familiar office to stare up at the man who had spoken only a few moments before. I stared up remorsefully into ice blue eyes, at my tutor, Aido-senpai. I was unable to hold his cold gaze for long, and quickly looked away.

"I'll walk you to your car." The ex-hunter's voice cut through the tense silence. He could surely see that I was in a great deal of trouble. The pace at which he spoke was slow, as if attempting to prolong our departure for as long as he possibly could. His tone held an unnerving seriousness…perhaps laced with something like...sadness. Staring at his solemn amber eyes, I secretly longed to witness the happy-go-lucky man I had seen only a little while ago…Without a vocal response, Aido merely nodded, taking the holdall from my grasp in one swift, yet rather rough, movement.

The Headmaster chattered aimlessly to Aido as we travelled the length of the familiar corridors of Cross Academy. Each hallway…every wall seemed eerily nostalgic somehow…as if I expected to witness Zero walking down the corridor with Yuki Cross, running to keep up beside him. It was as if…the bricks and the stone that made up the building held a precious secret memory of the time I had spent here as a human. The familiar scent of school supplies…of old pages of worn textbooks…ink drying on paper, the chalky scent of clapped erasers…all of these subtle little wonders had passed over Yuki Cross's head…her senses had not been able to detect the everyday sounds and smells that had surrounded her all along. Still…everything seemed all too familiar, and it was a reminder that the miracle my mother and father had given me hadn't been a blissful dream. My time at the Kuran mansion had almost fooled me into believing that the past ten years had been a fragment of my imagination.

I froze. The sight of a small, brown haired student caused the hairs on my neck to stand on end. Aido and the Headmaster continued to walk as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred, as the small Disciplinary Committee member sprinted down the hallway, silver whistle in hand, not slowing as she ran towards me. So transfixed I shut my eyes as if to brace myself for the impact….however…it never came….As my eyelids fluttered open, I came face to face with my past self, her translucent form disappearing into my own body. The sensation caused my entire being to shiver, electric pulses spreading across my skin. She was gone as quickly as she had appeared, and I stand, frozen in confusion, searching around for any trace of the ghost-like Yuki Cross…but it's as if she had never been there at all…Unnerved, I sprinted after Aido and the Headmaster, who were still walking without even realizing I was no longer trailing behind them. _What just happened? _I wondered to myself, as the Headmaster continued to chatter, and Aido continued to add an occasional polite response every now and then…as if the scene had never taken place.

My heart was racing as the huge oak-wood doors were pushed open, the hinges squeaking audibly. The chill of the morning air rushed through to greet us, causing my skin to prickle at the sudden drop in temperature. It reminded me of last night….being outside alone…I shivered. The icy wind was a sobering reminder of what I was yet to face. I pulled my soft pink coat more tightly around my body as we descended the stone steps, and strode silently down the gravelled path. We were walking towards a familiar, sleek black car, the one Kaname and I had travelled in on our way to the soiree at Aido-senpai's home. The tinted windows meant that I couldn't peer into the interior of the vehicle, causing a shiver to travel down my spine…was it possible…that my onii-sama was already waiting for me in the back seat of the care….was it possible that…even now…he was surveying me through the protection of the tinted windows? I gulped, pulling the fluffy coat collar closer to my cheeks, as if to conceal my guilty expression from his view, if he really was watching right now. The outlook seemed bleak.

We came to a halt beside the car, the harsh morning sunlight reflecting off the highly polished bonnet of the car, was not forgiving on my weary eyes. The gentle hum of the already running engine put me on edge. As we turned to bid farewell to the Headmaster, I couldn't help but stare searchingly at the vast Academy building, my eyes flickered over every window in search of the silver haired hunter I longed to glimpse one last time. Of course, there was no sign of him, and I returned my attention to my adoptive father once again.

"Thank you for contacting us Headmaster, Kaname-sama apologizes for not being able to collect Yuki-sama himself…and hopes that she hasn't been a bother." Aido spoke formally to the Headmaster, his polite tone restraining the anger that bubbled beneath his exterior…I had seen him behave this way at the soiree…My stomach knotted anxiously as I felt the blond Aristocrat's eyes flicker towards me momentarily as he spoke.

"Of course! My adorable daughter has been no trouble at all! You tell Kaname-kun to make sure he visits me soon though, and that he's welcome to bring Yuki-chan!" The Headmaster chided in a jovial manner. However, despite his upbeat tone, I could tell his cheerful pretence was slightly forced. I flashed the man a smile as I bid him farewell once more, feeling only mild relief at the fact Aido had informed me that Kaname was not waiting in the car for me.

"Goodbye, Headmaster." I told him with a fake smile as the driver stepped out of the vehicle to open the rear door for me. He smiled sadly in return, waving slowly with one hand, as he used the other to wrap his woolly green shawl more tightly over his shoulders. A heavy feeling made its way into my chest as I climbed into the cool leather seat in the back of the car, and as the driver slowly closed the door behind me. The car was empty. Kaname wasn't here. I waved at the straw haired man through the tinted window, even though I knew he could no longer see me. A doll back in its glass case. I watched teary eyed as the driver took my bag from Aido, disappearing from view momentarily. The ex-hunter exchanged a few muffled words with the blond as my eyes clouded over, the sound of the trunk being opened, the car gently rocking in response as the driver placed my bag in the trunk before forcing it shut once more with a dull _thud_.

The Headmaster waved. Aido moved out of view, walking around to the other side of the car. I quickly flicked a few tears away from my eyes before the Aristocrat could open the car door and see me crying. Clenching my fists in my lap, I reminded myself that I was returning to Kaname's world now. The vampire society in which I would have to learn to carefully conceal my emotions behind a mask of porcelain. The car shuddered gently as Aido lowered himself into his seat, and his door was closed. My mind seemed to become clearer and calmer as the driver returned to the wheel, and the car engine seemed to purr as it came to life, and the vehicle pulled away. As I stared out of the window at the Headmaster's familiar form disappearing into the distance, a small frown graced my face as I considered my situation. I couldn't help but feel as if this had been the reason my mother had longed for me to live a normal human life.

The car journey home was silent and awkward. I was reminded of how weary I was as the car rolled gently along the winding roads, occasionally jolting slightly as the tyres rolled over stones and pebbles that littered the road. I stared listlessly out of the window as the greenery of the countryside rushed by. I kept my mouth closed, expecting Aido to explode into a fit of anger at any given moment. Having travelled in silence for half an hour, I averted my gaze from the world outside at last. It was drawing closer towards noon, and the sky was being painted gold by the harsh glare of the Sun. My sensitive eyes seemed to sting even more due to my exhaustion.

I turned to stare at the black privacy screen separating us from the driver, only the silhouette of the back of his head visible through the screen. I shifted uncomfortably in the black leather seat; the silence around us seemed almost suffocating. I had to wind the window down just a little to allow the cool, fresh air to permeate through the tension. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the blond vampire leaning on his hand, an unreadable expression on his face as he stared out of his window. My stomach knotted with guilt, and my heart sank as I considered what I'd put the young Aristocrat through. Aido had been my only form of contact with the outside world during my months in isolation. He'd been patient with me even when I'd been slow to learn, and watched out for me in Kaname's absence. I bowed my head in shame, feeling that I truly owed Aido an apology more than anyone else right now. I inhaled deeply to build up the courage to speak.

"Aido-senpai…" I uttered softly, cautiously, as if testing the icy waters before plunging in. He didn't make any attempt to look at me, however, his sapphire eyes darted in my direction to inform me that he was listening. I balled my hands into fists in my lap before turning to face him. I wanted him to see my sincerity when I spoke.

"I'm so sorry Aido-senpai…you've done so much for me…and I repay you by-"My voice trembled as I spoke, despite my silent pledge to become the calm and cool princess of vampires that I was supposed to be. The words seemed unable to form, and before I was able to finish my feeble attempt at an apology, he interjected.

"It isn't me you should be apologizing to, Yuki Cross." He replied indignantly, turning his head to face me now. His sapphire eyes glimmered with words unspoken, and I realized that Aido's silence had been a thin veil, masking his worry and anger. I bowed my head once more before continuing.

"I'll face whatever punishment Kaname-onii-sama has waiting for me when we return, and I'll apologize to him then, but…I owe you an apology too! Not just for this…for everything!" I declared, abandoning any sense of diplomacy and allowing my tone to become less restrained. Aido was unable to control his emotions, and stared at me with renewed determination burning in his eyes.

"A Pureblood shouldn't apologize for her actions so desperately…I don't care what happens to me. I just want Kaname-sama to be happy." He replied in a cool and steady tone, turning to stare wistfully out of the window.

"I understand that…but what kind of a Pureblood would I be…if I didn't know how to admit when I'm wrong…and at least try to atone for my acts…I don't know if I can atone for the things I've done to you, but…I intend to apologize at the very least." I confessed, wanting this man to realize that I meant every word. He turned away, continuing to stare out of the window, a steely look in his eyes. I sighed, a deep melancholy sigh, not sure what more could be said at the present moment. Minutes passed in steely silence as I waited for a response from the Aristocrat. However, none came, and the remainder of the car journey continued in a silence that fell like a heavy blanket of snow, suffocating the grass and plants it smothers.

Alone in my bedroom. My running away bag sits slumped beside me on the immaculately made bed, its presence almost redundant now. Aido had instructed me to unpack it before Kaname returned from his trip, however, I find myself unable to execute even this simplest of commands. I suppose it's because that makes my return final…and part of me simply isn't ready to resign to my fate just yet. My fatigue seems overwhelming right now, and so the bag remains packed. I consider flinging it aside, simply so that it won't draw attention when Aido returns to check on me. I heavy sigh. I stand. The springs in the mattress practically flinging me from the bed's soft surface. I lift the bag slowly, kneeling to push it under my bed. The long draping covers conceal it from sight…If only my guilt were so easily concealed.

_**Slam**_

The sound of the mansion doors closing downstairs causes me to jump with a start, and I swivel around to face my bedroom door. A guilty conscience of course, no one is there. However, they will be, soon. I glide slowly to the door, as if under a spell, rest my hands gently against the door's smooth texture, straining to listen. My stomach drops as I detect familiar male voices, Aido…and my older brother. Kaname is home.

A/N-Thank you again for your continued support and encouragement! Just so you have an idea what to expect in future chapters…

Kaname confronting Yuki about her night with Zero!

Zero's thoughts on the events in recent chapters.

Another soiree, will Yuki and Zero cross paths again?

Sara Shirabuki scheming.

An awkward meeting between Aido, Yuuki & Zero.

Injuries! *le gasp*.


	26. 25 The Hunter's Decision

**A/U-W….what is this nonsense?! TWO chapters?! Within a couple of DAYS of one another?! This is lunacy I tell you! Well…don't be too angry, because I'm treating you all to a nice Zero chapter. **

**Just so you know, I'm thinking about re-writing this story at some point, the earlier chapters are just really poorly written…in fact, this scene was partially written in a bid to repair the out of character issues caused by the sex scene a few chapters back….which leads me to the next point- This chapter has MATURE content, as it contains flashbacks of the sex scene, but from Zero's point of view! **

**I also threw some Yagari, Kaito, and White Lily into this chapter for good measure. No Kaien though. I'm sorry.**

**Anyway! Enjoy, and please send me your thoughts if you have any! **

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><p><em><strong>Zero's POV<strong>_

_Damn it._

Those words plagued my mind, intensifying and consuming my thoughts with every passing moment. Leaning against a wall outside, I pounded my fist against the stone surface, ignoring the pain that spread through my fist as a result. It was rare, but I allowed my usually unreadable features to contort into a look of pure disgust. I was alone. It didn't matter. I held a hand up to my face, as if to mask my snarling expression from the world…but more than anything to conceal my sensitive eyes from the harsh morning Sunlight. I'd skipped class again…but my mind was alive with activity…and it was driving me insane. My fist connected with the wall once more, a little more forcefully this time, a dull thump resounding with the impact. 

"Damn it." I uttered softly, clenching my jaw so that my teeth began to ache from the gesture.

"You're in a foul mood today." My body tensed as the familiar, deep tenor of my master drew my attention away from my own anguish. As if by instinct, I swiftly concealed by desperate expression by donning an emotionless mask. It had become second nature to me now. Like breathing. I removed my hand from my face, burying it in my pocket before straitening up to face my master. His one sapphire eye was fixed on me as he ambled closed. A toothpick hung from the corner of his mouth in place of the cigarette that he was probably craving. The Headmaster had chided him so much about his habit….about the influence it would have on his 'precious students'…I guessed that he was aggravated with the ex-hunter's pestering, and was only abiding by his rules to shut him up. I didn't respond, merely turning my head to acknowledge his presence. At least it wasn't the Headmaster. I didn't think I could stand that man's nonsense today.

"I heard about that incident last night…" He continued as if he hadn't bothered to pause. My body automatically tensed at the mention of last night. I was sure that my lavender eyes had widened a little, however I made a conscious effort to conceal my reaction. _He meant the incident with the vampires…not…the other thing. _My mind hissed. Damn. I had a guilty conscience.

"Everyone's heard about it." A second, younger voice chimed in. I felt my irritation rising with every moment that I was around people. Right now, more than anything…I wanted to be alone. Kaito's familiar form came into view behind that of my masters, a book in hand, rested on his shoulder as if it were a burden to carry. At least they weren't Kaien. I remained silent.

"That little girl certainly knows how to get into trouble, huh?" Kaito continued, and I could detect the shadow of a smirk on his lips as he drew closer. It irritated me somehow. I was beginning to think that I should have retreated to the privacy of the stables to rest beside white Lily…only I knew Wakaba would have looked for me there. Our teachers always sent her to look for me…and she always seemed to find me there, in an annoyingly similar way to another girl. A pang of guilt, hatred…a myriad of conflicting emotions.

"She was raised by that irritating man…it's not surprising." Yagari answered, adjusting the toothpick in his mouth, and although he was speaking to Kaito, his soft blue eye never strayed from me. If they thought I was going to tell them what had happened…then they had another thing coming. It wasn't that I didn't appreciate their concern…but right now…I was doing everything I could to try and deal with the overwhelming wave of emotions that was tearing me apart from the inside.

"I have things to do." I responded bluntly, unable to form more of an articulate response. Burying both hands deep in my pockets I strode away from the other hunters without so much as a backward glance.

"You're not going to tell us what happened?" Kaito called from behind. Something lingered in his tone of voice…something I wanted to get away from as swiftly as possible.

"You can read about it when I file the report." I answered quickly, raising a hand as if to wave goodbye, and picking up the pace at which I walked. I was heading for the stables. I could think clearly there, and Lily would surely chase away any fool who tried to disturb me.

The stables were empty, as I had expected. There were no horseback riding lessons this morning…and even if there were, no one would ride Lily anyway. Generally, she was only brought out of the stable for lessons if there was a particularly large class, and they needed the extra horse. In any case, not even the stable hand seemed to be around, and so I strode into the Sunlit stable, actually enjoying he sensation of warmth that enveloped me as I stepped inside. The Sun was blazing brightly this morning; however, the air still held a chill to it…the stable was the perfect temperature though. The enclosed space, and the presences of the animals inside kept the stable at a pleasant temperature annually, as well as that, while being warmed by the Sun's rays, it prevented the harsh fingers of Sunlight from being blinding to my senses. The stable really was my favourite place to be at the Academy.

I staggered towards Lily's stallthe painful pounding in my head was nothing compared to the burning sensation that was tormenting my throat. The white mare began to dig at the ground with her hoof, and sniff indignantly at the sound of my approaching footsteps, uttering a soft whinny of warning as I gently tugged the door open. She was restless today. I could relate. She continued to toss her head and move around, vexed, until I raised my hands to calm her.

"It's okay girl….it's just me. You're irritable today huh?" I spoke softly to the horse, the sound of my voice enough to placate her after all the years I'd spent grooming and caring for her. She trotted amiably towards me, gently nuzzling her head against my face. She was the only one who could bring a smile to my face today in the midst of my inner turmoil. I ran my hands over her warm nose, speaking gently to her as I always did. It seemed to calm me when I was stressed, and seemed to have the same effect on her. As I patted her back, she began to munch affectionately on my hair, a habit she's developed as a foal, and had never really grown out of…a habit I was certain would cause me to go bald one day.

"I know, I know. I missed you too. We'll go out for a ride later on okay? Right now I need to rest. Make sure no one bothers me okay?" I chatted away to the mare, it seemed that I was far more comfortable talking to her than any other human being. Perhaps it was because she didn't answer back…or perhaps it was because she was affectionate no matter what I said. Whatever the reason, I managed to pry her away from my head in a relatively pain-free way, before slumping down in the hay. It didn't take long for the horse to join me, slowly plopping herself down beside me so that I could rest against her large body. The smell of hay was almost comforting as I curled up beside her, moving closer to her warm body. She neighed gently, as if to reassure me. The shadow of a smile played on my lips for a moment, but no longer than that as I shut my eyes and began to recall everything that had taken place last night…

_Yuki…have an affair with me_

My eyes shot open at the memory of those words, my hand instinctively rising to my face to mask my shocked expression. Had those truly been my words? Had such a request passed my lips?

_Show me how much you love me Yuki…in the most human way possible._

Memories of her little hands trailing over my bare shoulders…slipping through my hair as she had dried my dripping body. She had looked mesmerizing in the gentle light the Moon had cast over her petite form. The way the light had hit her…it had reminded me of my Yuuki…the girl I had lost a year ago. My heart constricted at the memory, and I clutched at my throat. Sitting before me she had been a vision of beauty…her gentle cinnamon eyes focussed intently on the task at hand…her brow furrowed slightly in concentration…Her lips had looked soft, like little rose petals, dark against her porcelain skin…I still wasn't sure what had come over me as they had parted softly, slowly as if to speak...why had I leaned in and pressed my lips against hers that way? Why had she kissed back? I ran my tongue over my lips as if her taste would still be there…her mouth had tasted sweet, just like her blood…my heart skipped a beat at the memory of her tongue wrestling fervently with mine…the sensation of her hip brushing against my thigh had caused a new sensation to ignite within my body. I had never been one for carnal lust in the sense of pleasure…but the way my body had reacted to hers was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. It had been like a match lighting to create and inferno, like a spark lighting into a flame. It had been overwhelming…I had let it overwhelm me. I should have stopped there. I could have. I almost had at the mention of blood…a reminder of her vampiric nature…and yet her gentle hands had caressed my skin…and her rosy lips had touched my body…damn it…and then I'd done the unthinkable and carried her to bed. In the harsh light of day, I realized what an idiot I'd been. We weren't even on talking terms yet…we had been awkward and uncertain around one another…and yet I'd continued…even when she'd become reluctant I had pressed her to proceed by using seductive tricks I hadn't even realized I knew.

Lily shifted a little. I opened my eyes. Did I dare to recall the rest of it?

I clenched my jaw tightly as the memories continued to filter through my mind like some movie I had no power to stop. She'd raised her arms above her head…I'd practically tore her nightgown from her body and discarded it as if it were nothing…I'd gone as far as to remove her underwear...to remove my jeans…I balled my hands into fists. I'd stared at her naked form for the first time…and somehow…looking back…it should have been awkward…hadn't there been a time when she'd been like an annoying little sister to me? Hadn't I teased her for her boyish figure and flat chest? Only…the sight that greeted my eyes hadn't been that way at all…in fact it had only confirmed that she was now a woman, and not some child who needed protecting anymore.

_So why didn't Kuran see that_? I thought to myself. The gentle curve of her hips…her waist had been well defined…I'd never really noticed that about her before…never really pictured the soft curve of her breasts as I had seen them last night, that had never been detectable beneath the concealment of her clothes.. It was all too clear to me that I had never really viewed Yuki in a sexual way. Even as we had kissed one another passionately on the stool where she had dried my hair…she had been Yuki…it was only when I had seen her that way….completely vulnerable and yet breathtakingly beautiful that I had realized she was a woman…that I saw her in that light now. I brow knit into a frown. How was it that after spending a year under that man's roof…last night had been her first time? I didn't have a great deal of physical experience…in fact that was the only experience I had at all…and yet I knew that it had been the truth. She hadn't lied to me about her chastity…my knowledge of biology confirmed that…the way she had behaved…the way her body had reacted….why was that though? And why did it bother me so much? What the hell _was_ he doing with her hidden away in that manor of his? She was dressed and groomed like a doll…something I found unnerving…why did he keep her locked away? What was his purpose with her?

I grunted. I didn't want to think about Kuran anymore. It was making my blood boil. I sat up so that I could lean against Lily's back. I doubted that I would sleep anyway. I was too agitated to drift off…in fact…I'd barely slept last night. The reality of what we'd done had settled on me almost as soon as the act had ended. The way her large eyes had met with mine in a peculiar mixture of ecstasy and shock. What had we been thinking? We'd shattered the boundaries between our societies…a pureblood and a hunter…what would happen if word of this got out somehow? I was pretty sure that Yuki had been right about Kuran knowing…the bastard seemed to have a way of knowing things…perhaps even before they happened.

I turned over, irritated by the thought. It wasn't as if I was scared of what he might do to me…and I was certain he would try something, after all, I had stolen his 'dear girl's' virginity from him…but the thought of him knowing the private things that had taken place between us made me feel nauseous with hatred and anger. He had no right.

I felt uneasy at the memory of the act…the way her eyes had taken on a slight hue of scarlet as I had moved my body in time with hers…whether she had been aware of it or not…I had noticed. It had been a reminder of her true nature…why was I struggling to accept it even now?

I sighed heavily. I'd felt guilty and ashamed the moment I had awoken to find her sleeping my arms, her tousled hair splayed out around us. The picture of innocence…but hadn't she always been? I'd had to send her back. I couldn't hold on to her…not when my feelings towards her were so conflicting. I loathed myself for allowing us to go that far when I still wasn't one hundred percent sure how I felt about her. I'd made love to her…so surely that meant I loved her right?...But it was more complicated than that. That was why regret was gnawing away at my heart right now. She'd been reluctant to leave…that much had been painfully obvious…and yet I couldn't let her stay. I'd said whatever I could to get her to leave…promises of a future together but now…Were those promises I could afford to keep? What good would a relationship between us be for anyone? Crimson eyes flashed through my mind again…talk of bloodlust and pleasure…was my innocent Yuki Cross still somewhere inside of her? Doubt was creeping into my heart the more thought I gave to the situation…

_I have to take responsibility…_

That's what my mind was screaming. I'd never wanted to sleep with her and then leave…but I was becoming less and less convinced that my decision had been the right one. What would happen if anyone knew? Had such a thing ever occurred before? A pureblood and a hunter…

The sound of footsteps jolted me from the light trance like state I had fallen into, and Lily's body tensed at the intrusion. The footsteps were heavy, too heavy to be Wakaba. I kept my eyes closed, silently willing whoever had come to disturb me to leave immediately without interrupting my thoughts.

"So this is where you've been hiding." Kaito's familiar voice prompted me to lazily crack one eye open to glance at him. He hadn't yet opened the gate to Lily's stall, but already she was making soft sounds of disapproval, aiming them in Kaito's direction. Shutting my eye again, I sighed before responding.

"You're disturbing my nap." I replied irritably. Kaito was a person I could get along with…but at a time like this, I would prefer to be alone. However, being the person he was, Kaito persisted.

"Wakaba told me you'd be here. What's the deal with you anyway? Skipping classes again." He went on. Lily was growing more and more agitated, and so I was forced to sit up, opening my eyes and running a hand over her smooth white back. I muttered soothingly to her so that she wouldn't grow grouchier and attack Kaito. He remained silent waiting for a response. Still sitting in the hay, running my fingers over the mare's back I glanced up at him.

"It was a long night." I responded simply. There was no way in hell I'd ever tell even Kaito the full story of what had taken place last night, but I knew he would continue to pester me if I didn't respond somehow.

"It's because of that girl right?" He replied. I remained silent, not particularly willing to answer that question. I knew that Kaito already knew too much about my feelings for Yuki…and that troubled me somehow. He had noticed at the soiree how my thirst had been ignited…and how my body had tensed when she had entered the ballroom. However, he had no sound evidence just yet…and I was determined to keep it that way.

"I know she's a pain in the ass…but she doesn't seem that bad for a Pureblood." He announced matter-of-factly. His tone of voice grated on me…the way he spoke as if he knew something…

"How would you know?" I retorted, a little more fiercely than I had intended. My throat burned once more, and I quickly forced my hand into my pocket, searching for the small box of blood tablets concealed somewhere within their depth.

"Because I got that impression from the way she was at the soiree. She's just a lion cub right now…but you already know that, don't you Zero?" He went on, his tone smooth as he spoke…and yet his eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he finished speaking. I clutched the pill box tightly in my hand, shooting him a glower as I proceeded to retrieve it from my pocket. If he'd seen the way her eyes had glowed last night…or heard the way she'd spoken…perhaps he would understand why I was so conflicted right now. He certainly wouldn't be calling her a lion cub.

"Something happened with you two last night, right?" His eyes narrowed,and I struggled to keep my cool as I forced the lid of the pill box open, pouring the tablets whole down my throat as if they were candy…they pacified my thirst, but only a little. I remained silent. My best defence right now was to say nothing.

"You're chugging down those blood tablets like that…the same way you did after the soiree…so tell me Zero, what happened?" He asked bluntly. I clenched my fists tightly among the strands of hay. I knew that Kaito meant well…this was his way of showing he cared, and worried about me…but it was still irritating.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." I lied. My tone gave nothing away as I replaced the table box in my pocket. I kept the neutral mask plastered to my face. There was no way I would tell him.

"I know you better than that…and something definitely happened. You're even grouchier than usual…you rescued her right? Did she bite you?" He pried. Aggravated, I rose to my feet. I couldn't take being bombarded with questions. I already had enough on my mind. I headed for the gate, wrenching it open, and forcing him to move aside to avoid being by it.

"…Did you lose control…did you bite her?"

I glowered at him, eager for him to drop the subject promptly before I really lost my temper.

"You had feelings for her…right?" This time his tone was less confrontational…almost…sympathetic. That was the word. _Had_. I looked away, trying to form an articulate response in my mind, rather than relying on instinct to dictate my words.

"Once…a long time ago…I had feelings for a girl…but she died. I'm dealing with it." I told him simply, fixing my lilac orbs on his brown ones in a bid to close the subject. He met my gaze without breaking it. When he didn't make an attempt to argue, I turned on my heel and walked towards the exit, into the harsh light of day.

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><p><strong>AN- Also…sorry for the amount of times 'damn it' was written in this chapter…not because it's offensive or anything, but because I couldn't think of anything more original to say, so I kept recycling the phrase.**

**Thanks for reading this chapter! I hope you enjoyed it!**


	27. 26 The Punishment

**AN- ANOTHER chapter?! **

**So…I took a gamble here…and wrote this chapter in Kaname's point of view. I've never EVER written anything from Kaname's pov before, so I can't guarantee it is 100% in character…I have tried my best, but I fear it might have strayed a little near the end of the chapter in particular. Please forgive me if it's a little off, I probably won't do another Kaname chapter anyway so…thank you for allowing me to experiment with his character a little! Also, I did add a last minute plot 'twist' that I wasn't planning until…I wrote it O_o…so…bear with me…I think I know where this is going. Reassuring huh?**

**Thanks for continuing to read! I'll be quiet now!**

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><p><em><strong>Kaname's POV.<strong>_

_So…the bird had returned to her cage._

My lips curled into the shadow of a gentle smile, as I stepped through the front door to the manor, into the dimly lit interior of the entryway. I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes just for a moment. I could sense her presence close by…and as selfish as it was, I found that to be a somewhat comforting thought. I unfastened my heavy coat at a leisurely pace. The bare skin of my face was still cool from the icy air outside…or…perhaps it was naturally that way. Aido was nearby. Seiren also. From out of the corner of my eye, I surveyed the blond Aristocrat, fidgeting fretfully as he waited for me to break the deafening silence. I was taking just a little longer than necessary…perhaps this was a petty way of punishing him, by leaving him hanging, like a leaf from a shedding tree, dangling above the frightening world of suspense. It was as the old saying proclaimed, fear of an incident, is perhaps far more terrifying than the incident itself.

I slipped my coat from my shoulders at an unhurried pace. As it was, my body was weary from travel and the absence of respite. I had excused myself from my business trip prematurely to return to the manor upon hearing news of Yuki's disappearance._ Such a troublesome girl_. Those had been my precise words when Seiren had delivered this information to me. However, those words had not been spoken without a hint of affection. Had I truly expected my little bird to be content with being encased within her cage? Even if it was a lavish cage, with a frame of gold…being the girl that she was I should have realized that she would be yearning to spread her wings once more.

Seiren took my coat from my grasp, returning it to its rightful place for me. My gaze shifted to the trembling Aristocrat nearby. He did not avoid my gaze, even though it was cold. He bowed his head respectfully, making his best effort to conceal his unease. As it was, I did not truly blame Aido for Yuuki's reckless behaviour. Of course, I was aware that an incident which had taken place at the soiree the night previously had been the cause…or at least, the catalyst that had driven Yuki to flee our home. She had been uneasy for a long while not…plagued by nightmares, and struggling to adjust to her vampiric nature…it had only been a matter of time before something like this had happened.

_It's still something that irks me though._

I mounted the staircase. I would deal with Aido later. I would need to take care of Yuki first…Perhaps I could discover what precisely had caused her to act so foolishly. Even if it had been an event I had been anticipating…it had not come in a way I had envisaged. I took each step slowly, as if I were contemplating my words…no. I already knew what I wished to say. I knew what I would avoid also…Kiryu. The name, when spoken, left a bitter taste on my tongue…and similarly, hung like a dark cloud over my mind whenever I thought of him.

I stood before her bedroom door, gently turning the handle and allowing myself inside without so much as knocking. I could already sense her presence on the other side…my acute senses already able to detect the soft thrumming of her anxious heart…truly like the wings of a frightened little bird, flapping against the confines of its prison-like cage. My throat burned a little, a sickeningly familiar sensation, accompanied by a dull thudding in my temples…my hunger had been something which had plagued me for a long time…and it was only recently that I had been able to quench it.

There she was, my dear girl, perched upon her bed as if she had never left at all…her large searching eyes drawing me towards her, like a moth to a flame. Did she have any idea just how enticing she was? Of course not…she was far too innocent. The moment her gentle cinnamon orbs settled on mine, her expression faltered. She rose swiftly to her feet, and for a split second, I expected her to run to me as she had as a small child…however, I was wrong. She merely stood, hands clasped in front of her, a position she often adopted when she was uneasy, remaining frozen this way.

I strode towards her, my eyes running of the length of her body, seeking signs of trauma…although as a pureblood, it was unlikely that any would be clearly visible, I felt it best to confirm this for myself before finalizing my decisions…I fixed her with a stern, yet slightly amused gaze. Just as with Aido, her unease was clearly detectable, as her hands clasped tightly at the hem of her skirt.

"Kaname…" That was the only word she was able to muster under the scrutiny of my intense gaze. Slowly, I lifted a hand to her cheek, brushing my fingers along her porcelain skin. Whether it was intentional or not, she flinched at my touch, causing a gentle frown to creep to my face. The action prompted me to withdraw my hand, as I stared sorrowfully into her soft brown eyes. She was not yet skilled in the art of concealing her emotions like so many of the other people I was forced to work with…her eyes were like a window into her deepest thoughts, and a myriad of emotions was contained within them. Guilt was most prominent…not only in her eyes, but in her mannerism as well, but that wasn't particularly surprising.

"You think that I would harm you, Yuuki?" I questioned, purposely keeping my tone gentle, despite the fact the words were somewhat painful to speak. Perhaps I had been incorrect in my assumptions that her meeting with Kiryu had been the cause of her behaviour…no…that was a given…what troubled me was her reaction.

"No…of course not." She responded, however, her eyes were no longer fixed on mine. Instead, she stared at the ground, as if too ashamed to face me. Placing my thumb beneath her chin, I tilted her head up slowly, in a bid to stare into her eyes, and reluctantly, she fixed her chocolate orbs on my own crimson ones. Hmm. I turned my attention to her neck…yes…she'd been bitten by a level C…at least, that was what I had been told. My fingers moved to the collar of her shirt, pushing it aside slightly, and running my fingertips over her neck…barely visible now, my skilled eyes are able to detect the faintest sign of puncture wound scars. They will surely have disappeared completely by tomorrow…however, the fact that they are still visible at all informs me that the bite had been deep. Someone else had pierced my dear girl…and that infuriated me in a way I couldn't begin to describe…though…perhaps it had been the wakeup call she needed. She had been far too reckless.

A familiar sensation seared through my throat, causing me to lean in closer to the small brunette in front of me, and her body visibly tensed. Everything about her since I had entered the room was off…and that was when the aroma hit me. Kiryu. I laced my fingers into her hair…and his scent was present…lingering in each strand. Of course. This was not surprising…

"Yuuki…just what were you thinking?" I whispered teasingly, gently snaking my arm around her waist and forcing her back on to the bed. Cinnamon eyes widened in shock, and fear, as she fell down on to the mattress. I could hear the racing of her heart as I loomed over her, and the expression on her face was one that troubled me.

"What do you mean?" She blurted out, her voice imbued with fear. The scent on her skin…the look in her large eyes…everything about her was different. It was a subtle change, that one does not usually acknowledge, unless the thing which has caused the change was damaging in some way…however, it was incredibly subtle…I doubted that even she herself could sense the shift within her own being…but as with everyone who experiences it…she had changed. She was not the same Yuuki who I had held close after the soiree mere nights ago.

"…Such a reckless act…." I continued, her eyes growing larger as she attempted to conceal her rising panic.

"….Running away." I finished, leaning down as if to kiss her, but swiftly diverting my lips to her neck. I ran my tongue over the surface, causing her body to tense at my touch.

"Kaname…I-" However, here words were replaced with a sharp gasp, as my protruding fangs pierced her skin. I held her tightly in my arm as I devoured her blood. After the initial shock wore away, she began to struggle against me, however, my grip on her only tightened. This was my way of punishing her. After being attacked…and having her blood taken by someone else…this would cause her to hunger…that is, if she wasn't already. It was time for this girl to see things clearly. Perhaps…it was time for her to know the truth. Perhaps it was a cruel way to make her understand…but I needed to draw her attention away from her own thoughts and fears, and help her to understand what was taking place before her very eyes. Slowly, she began to weaken, and her attempts at fighting became less heartfelt.

I withdrew my fangs, leaning back to stare down at her. I was a little surprised to see the angry expression that plastered her face…the tears that pooled her eyes, but were suspended. She was not allowing them to fall. It pained me to see such an expression on my dear girl's face. However…it wouldn't be my Yuuki if she didn't fight for her freedom.

"You won't even let me explain?" She questioned, her angry tone turning to one of grief rather quickly. Of course...I knew the true reason. Her blood was filled with emotion…it had been clear to me from the moment it had touched my lips.

"If you wish to explain, then I will listen." I replied softly, gently brushing my fingers against her cheek and wiping away her now fallen tears. Such a frail little bird, not yet aware of the power she could hold as a Pureblood vampire.

"…You sound like…you don't want to know…but isn't that why you came home early?" She questioned, her voice still laced with a subtle tone of anger.

"The reason is not truly important. What is important…is that you begin to realize what lies outside these walls…and realize why I cannot allow you to spread your wings just yet." I told her, while raising my arm to my lips, and piercing the skin with my fangs. Surely she must be hungry by now. I had taken a great deal from her…not enough to make her lose consciousness, but certainly enough to awaken the creature within her that desired living blood.

"Onii-sama…" She murmured, she was clearly puzzled by my words and actions…perhaps things would become clearer after I gave her my blood.

"If only I truly had been born your older brother…things may have occurred differently." I lamented, holding my hand above her mouth, waiting for her to take it. Her expression contorted into of anger, confusion still swimming in her deep chocolate eyes.

"Why would you say something like that?" She questioned, attempting to lean away from my bloodied wrist so that she could stare at me. Her reaction was understandable…however, it seemed that my sweet Yuuki no longer wished to play happy families with me…signalling to me that it was time for me to be sincere with her. I sighed heavily; her reluctance to drink was rather vexing. Licking the pooling blood from my wrist, I lifted her from the bed in one swift motion. It was time to take her to the place I had slept for so many years in isolation…perhaps then she would begin to understand. Perhaps then she would take things seriously. She had to know, that I was her ancestor, the progenitor of the Kurans.


	28. 27 Changing Circumstances

**AN- So this chapter felt strange to write for some reason O.o I can't explain why…I think it MIGHT be because it deviates slightly from the main plot, so if you start reading this and think 'what just happened?' please bear with me! It will all make sense as things progress, or at least, that's what I'm hoping anyway :P. Just a refresher- In the previous chapter, Yuki learned that Kaname is her ancestor…I didn't write that part itself since I think the majority of people still reading this have probably gotten at LEAST that far into the manga.**

Sitting at my cluttered dressing table, I'm not at all certain how I should feel. Gently, I lift the large makeup brush from the wooden surface, daubing it in a compact of blush, before sweeping it across my porcelain cheeks in a couple of delicate strokes. I've never been one for makeup in the past. The heaviness of it has always felt suffocating upon the pores of my skin…even now; I feel the prominent desire to wipe it off again…though perhaps it is not the makeup that feels heaviest on this night. A neutral mask adorns my face. Large cinnamon eyes stare back at me…emotionless…_because weeks have passed….and we're no closer to our dream, are we?_

My reflection replies almost tauntingly. My stomach knots almost painfully, I wince, my head is spinning just a little, the edges of my vision blurring so that I am forced to reach out, clutching the edge of the ancient dressing table tightly in a bid to stay upright. My nerves are taking their toll on me tonight…even my first soiree had not seemed so terrifying…perhaps it's because last time I felt as if I would have someone there, by my side, supporting me, protecting me from the sharp tongues of other vampires should I make a blunder. I place the makeup brush down, brows knitting into a soft frown.

I feel so conflicted right now…weeks have passed by since I last saw Zero…since I learned the truth about Kaname….Carefully manicured nails dig deeply into the varnished wood as my heart aches painfully at the memory. I'm still not certain how to feel…about anything that has happened in the past month. After Zero and I had promised to figure something out…after he had promised to get in contact, to give me some indication that things would be okay…I'd received nothing. I'd waited longingly beside the door for any mail…scanned the forests nearby from every window for any sign of the silver haired hunter…however, I had not picked up any indication that he had set foot anywhere near the manor. I hadn't been able to sense him…I take a deep, cleansing breath. I'm getting ahead of myself. It's only been a fortnight right? I chew my lower lip gently, counting on my fingers. Chocolate eyes widen suddenly as I realize it has been almost four. Four already? _Still…that's not so long…right? _My throat feels dry, and I clutch at my throat suddenly….thirst again. Trembling hands seize the dresser drawers open, rummaging around until I come across the familiar tablet box.

_Knock, knock, knock_

The gentle sound of rapping at my bedroom door draws my attention away from the beast in human form that is my reflection. My stomach summersaults at the sound. So who will it be? Ruka-san? Aido-senpai?...Or?

"Yuuki…" The muffled yet entirely familiar voice of my fiancé pierces through the silence of my dimly lit bedroom, reverberating off of every surface, reminding me of my prison like confinement in this place that should be my home.

"Yes Kaname?" I call back sadly. No 'sama', no 'senpai', no 'onii-sama'…because we have entered yet another phase of our relationship now. I no longer know how I should address him. He is not my senpai, and he is not my older brother. He is my ancestor, but still my Kaname…right?

"Are you ready?" He questions, his gentle tenor making its way through the wood, not the only thing that seems to be separating us lately. I can picture him standing there; hand on the door handle, eager to enter the room. I glance guiltily at the tablet box in my hand…he had asked me to refrain from taking them, but the past few weeks have been hell, I'm ravenous. The bloodlust is becoming difficult to live with…but telling him something like that would be like admitting that a large portion of my heart is in Zero's hands. As if he hasn't realized.

"I am…" I call back to him, hastily replacing the tablet box back in my drawer, beneath a stack of papers. My gaze lingers hungrily on it for a few more moments before I replace the contents of my drawers and attend to my fiancé. "Please come in." I permit him, swiftly grasping the brush in my hand once more, pulling it anxiously through my thigh length locks as the gentle click of the door alerts me that he is here. I catch a glimpse of his tall form, reflected in my dressing table mirror. He smiles warmly at me, and I offer him a small smile in return. It's all I can muster right now.

"Such a beautiful sight…" He murmurs, advancing towards me slowly, but seeming to reach me at an alarming speed despite this. Every movement is elegant and graceful as he plucks the brush from my hand, lovingly running it through my hair. He takes a handful of strands in his fingers, inhaling the locks softly as if they hold a pleasant scent. His eyes, brimming with love tear at my conscience as he surveys me through the mirror's reflection. The burning hunger in my throat is urging me to feed, and I swallow audibly despite the fact I'm trying not to.

"You need to feed again?" His eyes darken ever so slightly with his question, dark brows knitting into a concerned frown. I shake my head quickly, plastering a bright smile upon my face. The only way I've been able to endure the past few weeks has been to drink from Kaname…and while it helps, it doesn't seem to be sating the thirst at all, the thirst that has become worse than ever.

"I'm fine. Just a little nervous." I assure him, trying to meet his gaze as I speak to make my lie seem more convincing. He seems sceptical, but as it is, he doesn't have much time to press me on the matter.

"The guests have started to arrive. It would be impolite to keep them waiting…however, do not think that this means I won't attend to your hunger after the soiree." He tells me a little sternly, although a teasing smile makes its way to his lips. I smile weakly in response. I can't possibly steal his blood again…however, his hand is being thrust before me, and I take it quickly to avoid the subject.

As we take to the staircase, I stare up at him, almost apologetically as our eyes meet…his equal. That was what I had strived to be, but now I realize I can never be as elegant and knowledgeable as he is. Ten thousand years of experience dictate his actions and words. I only have seventeen years' worth of those things…it's hardly surprising that I've never been able to match him in anything. With a heavy sigh, I attempt to create the façade that this is not the case though. As far as the sea of Aristocrats filling our mansion know, we are siblings. Two years separate us, rather than ten thousand. As such, I must act the part, even if it is unattainable.

The sea of bodies engulfs us as we step down from the staircase into the ballroom. The gaggle of beautifully clad bodies is almost suffocating…it's humid, and the warmth seems to cling to small areas of bare skin not covered by my ball gown. My gown tonight is a little less elaborate than the one I wore to my first soiree, but I'm not at all disappointed by this, in fact, I feel a little more comfortable as a result, though not enough to stop my heart from hammering fretfully in my chest. I haven't been in a crowd this large since the last soiree; the closeness of bodies against me is uncomfortable to say the least. Kaname has invited more Aristocrats into our home than I knew existed…

So what is the purpose of such a grand soiree? I stare up at the tall, dark haired man by my side, the man who I feel as if I know even less about now than I had a month ago; however, I understand this political action painfully well. Damage control. Of course it had been inevitable…word of what had taken place almost a month ago now had spread like wildfire. Perhaps if I had merely run away, no one would have learned the truth until much later, but the death of two level Cs at the hands of the most notorious vampire hunter on the scene right now has caused quite a stir among the vampire community. It isn't common practice for vampire hunters to kill a vampire that is not a level E, and my stomach churns sickeningly at the thought that Zero would surely have been punished if it weren't for my pureblood lineage...

_To protect one of our most precious treasures, a pureblood princess of the respected and cherished Kuran family, we can let the events of that night pass without further action._

That was what had been decided in a meeting I had not been permitted to attend, even when I had pleaded with Kaname to let me go with him, he had merely told me that neither I, or Zero, as the two involved in the incident would be allowed within the discussion quarters. It was apparently protocol when something out of the ordinary occurred, such as a pureblood being put under threat, a human being bitten under peculiar circumstances, a pureblood turning a human…two level Cs being killed. More often than not, no action is taken, and due to the nature of what had taken place that night, Kaname had assured me that neither I, nor Zero, would be in any danger of prosecution. So why had I felt as if the weight of the world had rested upon my shoulders? I had lain in bed that night feeling nauseous and worried, not for myself, but for Zero. The way Kaname had been behaving whenever Zero's name was brought up lately, the way he spoke his name as if it were poison, or poison watered down when in my presence.

What should have been a private meeting that had taken place little over a week ago had been the words on many a tongue. Sightings of me wandering the town, not just alone, but with Zero, had sparked wild rumors which meant scandal for our family name if Kaname allowed it to spread unchecked. Aido-senpai had informed me of some of the things that were being said…that Zero had kidnapped me and held me captive in a bid to make some kind of deal with Kaname, that one was utterly ridiculous, others said that it was a cruel set up by both Kaname and the Hunter Association to try and stir things up…that it was no coincidence that the vampire society had only seen me for the first time last month, and in that time such a strange occurrence had taken place. It was a plot to turn the vampires against the Kurans; a plot to turn the vampires against the hunters…each new rumor was more farfetched than the one which had preceded it. The only box left unchecked was the rumor about what had actually taken place…a romance unfolding between a pureblood and a hunter. I was grateful that this had been left untouched…perhaps it had crossed people's mind, but it seemed too crazy to be true.

My attention is brought back to the soiree as I realize I'm merely being pulled along by Kaname, barely paying any mind to the vampires around us. The dark thoughts have brought a frown to my face. My heart is constricting tightly at the thought that maybe after so much trouble and so many rumors, that Zero has simply abandoned the thought of the two of us being together after all…if merely being seen together has caused such a commotion, then what would happen if people knew what else had taken place in Zero's apartment that night? A chill runs down my spine as I notice crimson eyes surveying me, cinnamon orbs quickly darting up to meet with that of my fiancé's. That's another thing I'm beginning to notice…the way Kaname is looking at me is different, as if his gaze holds a certain suspicion…the thought that he knows what truly happens sends fear pulsing through my body, and so I attempt to plaster a smile upon my face, not only for him, but for the people surrounding us.

Even more than last time, people are eager to catch a glimpse of the young pureblood princess who has caused such uproar among the straight laced vampire society. As expected, questions are hurled my way, about that night, about why I had been out on my own, about the level Cs who had attacked me…about Zero. The atmosphere is smothering. Kaname informed me that I should not attempt to answer these questions, the truth would cause more scandal, and attempting to lie would only cause myself confusion…telling the same lie to fifty people in the course of a single night sounds as if it might be easy, but he warned me that I could easily forget details in the process, or end up elaborating on something that may cause them to ask me further questions, and so I spend what feels like hours simply avoiding their questions, changing the subject, giving elusive answers…and it's exhausting. My iron like grip on Kaname's arm weakens as the night drags on…and I'm no closer to achieving my real goal. My search for Zero. I'm aware that there must be at least twenty hunters present at a soiree of this size, especially one taking place in the Kuran mansion…the hunters have been ordered to prevent anyone from wandering…perhaps Kaname is worried that they may find the mausoleum he had slept in for thousands of years in the basement levels of our home…but somehow I get the impression that he has something else to hide. More secrets…

"Yuki, you look exhausted, perhaps you should take a break and have something to drink." Kaname tells me, his voice is laced with concern, his dark brow knits into a frown as he notices me wilting at his side.

"Come, I'll escort you over to the table. Perhaps I made a mistake in not allowing you to feed earlier…" He notes, gently guiding me towards a large table at one side of the room where an array of glasses are scattered. Waiters patrol the room with glasses on trays, but none of those liquids appeal to me…water of life, wine and champagne…My clammy body longs for blood, but I'll have to sate it with water for now.

"I'm sorry…I'm fine really." I murmur, however both Kaname and I know this is a lie, and it isn't long before we're beside the table, however, before I am able to sate my thirst, whispers are spreading across the room, and a group of aristocrats part to allow a tall, blonde haired woman to make her way towards us. My already nauseous stomach knots as the graceful form of Sara Shirabuki appears…fashionably clad in an elegant gown of baby blue hues, her presence sets me on edge, and I suddenly feel very alert. This woman…I'm even less fond of her now than the last time we met a mere month ago…the memory of the faint scent of blood that had lingered on her sent fear dancing through my veins, and my entire body tenses as she draws closer…the deaths that had taken place in the Aido mansion at the soiree…how had I forgotten such an event? It had slipped my mind over the past month, but seeing the eerily beautiful woman before me again brought it all back again, the pool of blood on the floor, the Headmaster leaning over the dead body of a hunter…the dust that had once been Ouri-sama…the supposed culprit stood before me, though she had not been labelled as such, it had been obvious to anyone who had made contact with her that night.

"Kaname-sama, Yuki-sama, it's a pleasure to see you both again, I must thank you for inviting me into your home, it's such an honour…I believe a soiree hasn't been held here in decades…not since the passing of the late Haruka-sama and Juri-sama." Her friendly tone unsettled me, and the mention of our parents caused my body stiffen further. I don't feel safe in her presence…the way her cerulean orbs wander over my form make me feel uneasy, as if she is surveying her prey. I attempt to shake the feeling off. Perhaps I'm just being paranoid, but the smile on her red lips unnerves me. I wonder if Kaname can sense it to…and if so, why on earth did he invite this woman into our home after the events of the previous soiree? A thought occurs to me…perhaps this soiree _isn't_ a bid to repair the damage I've caused, but rather a trap to try and capture the woman who was responsible for the deaths at the last soiree? I glance up at Kaname for any sign that this might be so, however, he has an amiable expression painting his features, of course, he wouldn't give such a plan away so easily.

"Thank you for attending. Yuki and I are grateful that you have graced us with your presence." Kaname tells her as if she is some kind of old family friend…however; it's forced, just as her niceties are. My blood runs cold as her gaze settles on me. The smile on her face is sugary sweet, like that of an older sister or a mother staring fondly at a younger family member.

"Yuki-sama, you look radiant this evening, white is certainly a color that flatters you." She tells me with mock affection, though anyone standing nearby would probably mistake it for a true compliment. I smile charmingly back at her.

"Thank you Sara-sama, this is a dress that once belonged to my mother." I tell her, examining the sleek fabric that makes up the floor length skirt. Another dress chosen for me by Kaname…perhaps in a bid to strengthen my likeness to my mother, the color white chosen to highlight my innocence…a tactical decision to try and make the aristocrats see me in the same light they had viewed her.

"Yes, you do share a striking resemblance to Juri-sama…oh but Yuki-sama, forgive me, you look rather flustered, are you feeling quite well?" Sara narrows her carefully plucked eyebrows into a frown that mimics a look of genuine concern. The attention of surrounding vampires who have been listening intently shifts to me, and I feel my already warm cheeks burning even more intensely at the attention. This conversation is beginning to grate on me…more than anything I want to escape the gaggle of bodies to go and search for Zero…but I can't exactly leave without ending the conversation, as much as my head is pounding right now…I offer her my sweetest and kindest smiles in a bid to feign normality.

"I'm quite well, just a little warm, all I need is a glass of water and then I'll be just fine." I tell her perkily. The smile on her lips seems to widen, her expression softening…and that's when I notice the glass in her hand, filled with a scarlet liquid that resembles 'the water of life'.

"It is rather humid in here, but perhaps you would benefit more from this? Please, take my glass, it hasn't been touched yet, and it's fresh." She insists, pushing the glass in my direction. I eye the liquid suspiciously; alarm bells are ringing in my heads, telling me that I shouldn't accept something like this. Is it merely my paranoia, or is it that there is something not quite right with the drink in front of me? Chocolate orbs dart around for any sign of reassurance, an indication that my senses are correct or incorrect…however, all I see are the smiling faces of the nearby spectators, their smiles almost mocking, as if this is some kind of game, and depending on my decision, I will win or lose. My eyes search desperately for silver hair…for the hunter I'm so desperate to catch a glimpse of…but in the end, the decision is mine, and mine alone.


End file.
